Law School Discussion

Nine Years of Discussion
;

Poll

What is the right thing to do?

Dump that b*tch
 10 (62.5%)
Ignore it and keep going
 0 (0%)
try to talk to her about it over and over till she understands
 1 (6.3%)
keep her till you meet a new one, then DTB
 4 (25%)
I'm gay and I have little experience with hetero-relations.
 1 (6.3%)

Total Members Voted: 16

Author Topic: To Break up or Not to Break up (Need advice)  (Read 397 times)

SwEep

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To Break up or Not to Break up (Need advice)
« on: March 24, 2008, 11:01:47 PM »
I have a girlfriend of 7 months. In the beginning everything was going well. Towards the 4th month into the relationship. we started seeing each other less and less. She is running a family business which requires long work hours 7 days a week, and therefore she has no time for dates. When we barely began dating, she took the time off from work to hang out. Now she feels that the relationship isn't on top of the priority list so we meet once a week if we're lucky.

But here's what bothers me. I understand she works long hours but that isn't the primary reason why we never see each other. She has semi-antisocial personality where when she in a bad mood, she wants to be alone; She cannot see anyone, including me. I just feel duped, mocked, and in truth this whole downward spiral with her is hurting my dignity and feelings. I'm always in stand by in case she wants to hang out. I talked this out with her and shes says thats her personality and its unlikely that she will change. What would you do in my position? (by the way, because of new realization and how insulted i felt, I canceled the date with her tonight. I havent seen her since last Monday.)

SabrinaK

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Re: To Break up or Not to Break up (Need advice)
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2008, 11:06:39 PM »
I think that if one of your survey options is dump that female dog, you've already made up your mind.
Alan Shore: You know I'm not about to go to Texas and not ride the mechanical bull, Chelina. That would be like going to Los Angeles and not sleeping with Paris Hilton.

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SwEep

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Re: To Break up or Not to Break up (Need advice)
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2008, 11:11:24 PM »
Whether you knew it while typing or not, you sound disappointed and unhappy, and gave us a laundry list of problems with her/the relationship. It sounds like you know somewhere in your heart what you want to do but aren't comfortable with making that final jump.

I think you are looking through me with X-Ray vision. I'm thinking about confronting her and telling her my feelings. My guess is that she will say "im sorry i hurt u, ill let u go i dont wanna hurt u" talk. In which case, maybe it is better that we split.

vjm

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Re: To Break up or Not to Break up (Need advice)
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2008, 11:15:58 PM »
Well, I voted for Dumping but I just want to throw something out there.

Clinical depression can result in a lot of the symptoms you just named. Irritability is often overlooked as a major sign. If this woman has never seen one, a psychologist might really change her life. Meds can dramatically alter this picture, if in fact that is what is going on. If not, then they won't work and everything will remain the same.

Of course, it is not your job to get her to do that, but mooting it as something for her to consider might be helpful of you.