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Author Topic: wack relationship thread  (Read 2527 times)

ohhayitskk

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wack relationship thread
« on: March 23, 2008, 10:01:53 AM »
so i've posted before about relationships here, but now it seems to be getting closer to doomsday. i've been with my boyfriend for about a year, and for all intents and purposes, i would love to be with him for you know...more than a year.

the kicker has finally come. he applied to a variety of schools to get his phd, and has currently only been accepted at michigan. he got rejected at harvard and berkeley and waitlisted at princeton (all of which i think are wack because well, he's very intelligent and his credentials are great, but i think his big downfall is that he's coming right from ug). columbia is still pending for him.

i, for all intents and purposes, will be going to school in boston.

see the problem?

what do i do? i'm totally devastated right now.
bc eleven.

beanie13

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Re: wack relationship thread
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2008, 10:36:36 AM »
Although long distance varies from person to person...it can work, and can work very well. I've been long distance with my boyfriend for all four years of college, as well as a different country long distance when I went abroad. It just takes a lot of dedication and trust, and a very clear understanding of the "terms" of the relationship. You can do it! It's really hard, but sometimes it's the only way to keep it together. There will always be some time off to visit (bring your books) and in the summers could work near each other.
Good luck! PM me if you have any questions...

Tetris

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Re: wack relationship thread
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2008, 11:18:17 PM »
I have a rule that I don't make life-altering decisions due to relationships. In the past I've made some decisions for a significant other-- sometimes as frivolous as which classes to take and as big as where to go to UG-- that I've come to really regret. Even though I considered the person "really important" at the time, I'm no longer with any of them. At the time they were really important but people change, relationships change, and breakups occur. What then? I was left with whatever decision I made and didn't even have the other person any more.

The real question is this: are you pretty much absolutely sure that this person is your soul mate? And if so, are either of you willing to give up school for the other? A few years and/or the location of one's school are HUGE decisions and not to be taken lightly. What if you guys break up down the road and one of you took years in between of school off or went somewhere "lower" for the SO? That would be terrible. That's why certainty of soul mate-ness is so important.

The other question is, if they're not your soul mate or whatever, are you willing to do the long distance thing? Personally that sounds hard. Of course, if I go without sex for about a week I start to go crazy. If you can handle the pressure of no physical intimacy coupled with the anxiety of him cheating on you then go ahead with the long distance relationship I guess. Also, you can stay in the long distance relationship but dump him if someone better comes along. That way you kind of get the best of both worlds-- you don't have to go through the sadness of a breakup b/c you'll have someone else with you.

I'd also like to add a disclaimer that I'm a bit on the anti-relationship side of the relationship curve. So listen to what I say with a grain of salt.
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iceepop

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Re: wack relationship thread
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2008, 12:14:19 PM »
so i've posted before about relationships here, but now it seems to be getting closer to doomsday. i've been with my boyfriend for about a year, and for all intents and purposes, i would love to be with him for you know...more than a year.

the kicker has finally come. he applied to a variety of schools to get his phd, and has currently only been accepted at michigan. he got rejected at harvard and berkeley and waitlisted at princeton (all of which i think are wack because well, he's very intelligent and his credentials are great, but i think his big downfall is that he's coming right from ug). columbia is still pending for him.

i, for all intents and purposes, will be going to school in boston.

see the problem?

what do i do? i'm totally devastated right now.

1.) Stop saying "for all intents and purposes" so much when it serves no purpose in the sentence.

2.) The thread title is ambiguous.  Is the relationship wack--or is the thread?

3.) Break up with your boyfriend.  He will not be gaining substantial income for (at least) the next five years.

HTH

Team Awesome

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Re: wack relationship thread
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2008, 01:00:15 PM »
Yeah, "intents and purposes" should be used sparingly. The same goes for: and things of that nature, obviously, amazing and literally. All are overused and most of the time are used incorrectly.

I enjoy the title of this thread.

ohhayitskk

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Re: wack relationship thread
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2008, 03:00:56 PM »
Yeah, "intents and purposes" should be used sparingly. The same goes for: and things of that nature, obviously, amazing and literally. All are overused and most of the time are used incorrectly.

I enjoy the title of this thread.

sorry. emotional distress leads to rambling repetition in my writing.
bc eleven.

Quail!

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Re: wack relationship thread
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2008, 03:26:33 PM »
I have a rule that I don't make life-altering decisions due to relationships.

This is the ultimately correct response no matter what your view on relationships.  Sometimes, you have to put yourself first and let everything else work out as it will.  What happens if a month after starting law school, you decide you actually don't want to be with him for more than...say...a year, and then you're stuck somewhere where you are unhappy and do not have the opportunities you may have had otherwise. 

Make the decision for you.  If it's going to work out, it's going to work out regardless.
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Team Awesome

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Re: wack relationship thread
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2008, 04:56:31 PM »
Ditto. You're in a really tough spot. It's easy to lose yourself in this decision. Make sure to take care of you.

Tetris

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Re: wack relationship thread
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2008, 06:35:02 PM »
I have a rule that I don't make life-altering decisions due to relationships.

This is the ultimately correct response no matter what your view on relationships.  Sometimes, you have to put yourself first and let everything else work out as it will.  What happens if a month after starting law school, you decide you actually don't want to be with him for more than...say...a year, and then you're stuck somewhere where you are unhappy and do not have the opportunities you may have had otherwise. 

Make the decision for you.  If it's going to work out, it's going to work out regardless.

Wow, I got TITCR'd? I thought I was going to get flamed for sure for being insensitive...
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Quail!

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Re: wack relationship thread
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2008, 06:36:36 PM »
I have a rule that I don't make life-altering decisions due to relationships.

This is the ultimately correct response no matter what your view on relationships.  Sometimes, you have to put yourself first and let everything else work out as it will.  What happens if a month after starting law school, you decide you actually don't want to be with him for more than...say...a year, and then you're stuck somewhere where you are unhappy and do not have the opportunities you may have had otherwise. 

Make the decision for you.  If it's going to work out, it's going to work out regardless.

Wow, I got TITCR'd? I thought I was going to get flamed for sure for being insensitive...

Oh, that too.


Jerk.
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