You're good at this, Outlaw. No wonder you pulled the coup and got into Penn.
I'm guessing that barring some unknown disaster in my app, I'll get waitlisted at W&L, and I'm pretty sure LSN corroborates your point about so many of their students coming off the waitlist. I think that maybe in lieu of retaking in June I might just embark on an "ACCEPT ME W&L" letter-writing campaign and then retake in September if things go poorly.
Option 4: Talk my dad into donating a building buying me a consolation car? 
fixt.
Haha, that would be nice except for the fact that my folks bought me a consolation car LAST year when my ex broke up with me and I freaked out and quit my awful retail job to move back into my parents' house.
This is actually not a joke.
This would make an interesting diversity statement for your next cycle.

Incidentally, do your parents need another daughter?