Law School Discussion

Ask a Homosexual

Miss P

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Re: Ask a Homosexual
« Reply #300 on: May 24, 2006, 12:54:15 PM »
For me, I didn't start identifying myself as queer until I was 17 or 18, and I had been sexually active (for better or for worse) for several years before that.  I had messed around with a bunch of girls well before I even gave any thought to whether I might be a lesbian.  It just seemed like the normal straight-kinky thing to do when I was in high school, and indeed, some of my little companions are happily married and not at all queer-identified today. This may also go to dbgirl's question about the trendiness of bisexuality among high school girls. It's just easy: you can get attention from boys, it's pregnancy-free, girls are pretty, your parents let you spend the night together, etc.

Interesting. I always wondered what percentage of these "bisexual" girls are really bisexual and how many are just bored/curious teens.   I know when I was a teen, I did a lot of things because, well, I had nothing better to do and wondered what (insert inappropiate activity here) might be like.
I also wonder how many women "turn" lesbian because men can be such bad partners. I know a lot of straight women who exclaim in exasperation that they will just be a lesbian from now on.  I don't know anyone who has actually done it, but many have thought about it.

I think you're onto something about boredom and stuff, though sometimes I have to wonder whether there's a difference between "really" being bisexual and calling yourself bisexual while engaging in bisexual behaviors. I don't know if there's any there there, you know?  What you do is what you are, etc. :)

I always thought of being bisexual as being capable of having a relationship with either men or women, emotional attachment all that stuff. So, I think it goes beyond just messing around ... I don't know, I'm no expert on human sexuality, that's why I'm asking.

Neither am I!  I'm a disaster.  I hope my post didn't sound corrective because I am at least as unsure of myself as I am of you!  I meant it to say, like, who knows how much teenage sexuality is really coming from a place of "pure desire." I imagine so much of it is about conforming to one's peer group, pleasing others, getting attention, being bored, etc. So the difference between a real bisexual teenage girl and a poseur bisexual teenage girl seems impossible to determine.  The questions of how many continue to be bisexual throughout their lives, how many become lesbians, how many actually have sex with other girls (rather than, say, making out in front of a boy a few times), etc., seem much easier to determine.

Re: Ask a Homosexual
« Reply #301 on: May 24, 2006, 12:54:57 PM »
Why has it become trendy for teenage girls to be bisexual?
I actually read this, and I have observed it as well.

Sexual freedom has been trendy amongst teens for 30+ years.  The difference is that your choice of the gender of your partner is less stigmatized.  Unfortunately for boys, they don't get to chalk it off as "experimentation" as easily as girls do...

aerynn

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Re: Ask a Homosexual
« Reply #302 on: May 24, 2006, 12:55:15 PM »
More comments from the people who've actually read and/or thought about it?

It's the patriarchy. Male fantasies about lesbians have permeated the culture and girls are picking up on that and doing it to please men. It's similar to the reasons for anorexia and bulimia.

TITCR

dividebyzero

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Re: Ask a Homosexual
« Reply #303 on: May 24, 2006, 12:55:32 PM »

It definitely makes you curious.

I don't have any ideas on the lisping thing. Most gay people don't lisp.

Oh noes!
I must summon the power of the Super Jesus to cleanse me of the Gay.  :D
(Ahh, the hilarity...)

Everyone else I've asked has either said:
1) They didn't know either,
2) Denied they had a lithp. Thut up!  ;)

dbgirl

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Re: Ask a Homosexual
« Reply #304 on: May 24, 2006, 01:01:09 PM »
I have request for the gay men here (especially Bonkers  ;))
Since you are reportedly all so fashionable, would you post some suggestions on this thread?

http://www.lawschooldiscussion.org/prelaw/index.php/topic,63471.0.html

Thanks in advance  :D

trogdor

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Re: Ask a Homosexual
« Reply #305 on: May 24, 2006, 01:03:44 PM »
Sexual freedom has been trendy amongst teens for 30+ years.  The difference is that your choice of the gender of your partner is less stigmatized.  Unfortunately for boys, they don't get to chalk it off as "experimentation" as easily as girls do...

i agree 100%.  women are allowed far more leniency in experimentation than men as far as social acceptance is concerned, so more take advantage of it. 

->Soon

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Re: Ask a Homosexual
« Reply #306 on: May 24, 2006, 01:09:47 PM »
Why has it become trendy for teenage girls to be bisexual?
I actually read this, and I have observed it as well.

1. It's cool.

2. I think that because it's socially acceptable nowadays (and even beneficial) for girls to explore their sexuality, not only do girls feel free to try things out with other girls but they also feel free to openly ID as bisexual while they figure out their sexuality (almost all of the self-IDed bisexual girls I knew in high school reverted to "straight" once they grew out of their curiosity), whereas they might not have done so 20 years ago (even while still experimenting). So maybe it's not that the trend creates fake bisexuals (girls who have no interest in other girls but pretend to for attention) but rather, the trendiness of female bisexuality means that girls who would otherwise hide their bisexual feelings can openly act on them nowadays, thereby making it seem as if bisexuality among girls is suddenly on the rise (when all it is that it's suddenly in the open).

3. More than ever, women are sexualized in incredibly explicit ways (women have always been sexualized but now it's like really overt and normal--I don't think that 20 years ago, music videos with women in thongs, spreading their legs and jiggling everything in ways that leave nothing to the imagination, were aired on regular tv at hours when kids are likely to be watching). A lot of people realize what being bombarded with sexy images of women at a young age does to young boys, but what about girls? Girls have eyes too and girls are impressionable too. I'm starting to think that being bombarded at an early age with such explicit images of women might make young girls more likely to view other girls in sexual ways.

I don't think I explained 2 and 3 well so just catch the gist and don't expect perfect reasoning.

Edit: I see I'm way late with this response.

i love reason #2

that is all.

dbgirl

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Re: Ask a Homosexual
« Reply #307 on: May 24, 2006, 01:12:09 PM »
Sexual freedom has been trendy amongst teens for 30+ years.  The difference is that your choice of the gender of your partner is less stigmatized.  Unfortunately for boys, they don't get to chalk it off as "experimentation" as easily as girls do...

i agree 100%.  women are allowed far more leniency in experimentation than men as far as social acceptance is concerned, so more take advantage of it. 

I can see that. I admit when I hear a teenage boy is bisexual I think he's probably just gay and hasn't come to terms with it. When I hear a girl is bisexual I think she's just entertaining herself.
I didn't really think about this until just now.

trogdor

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Re: Ask a Homosexual
« Reply #308 on: May 24, 2006, 01:17:58 PM »
I can see that. I admit when I hear a teenage boy is bisexual I think he's probably just gay and hasn't come to terms with it.

exactly... this is far more likely to be the case than the guy actually being a "real" bisexual, which i frequently question the existence of.  maybe i'm being hegemonic here, but i don't think so.  i've known plenty who have claimed to be, but they certainly don't act like it, and many later change their minds when they feel more comfortable. 

Re: Ask a Homosexual
« Reply #309 on: May 24, 2006, 05:17:15 PM »
Quote
THAT would be really funny! But it would have to include teaching the white guy how to play basketball.

Hey, we're not miracle workers over here.