Law School Discussion

Poll

How would you rate this in terms of readability and persuasiveness?

Steaming pile of horse crap
1 (16.7%)
Regular horse horse crap
0 (0%)
smaller livestock crap
1 (16.7%)
rabbit pellets
2 (33.3%)
okay
2 (33.3%)

Total Members Voted: 6

Voting closed: January 01, 2005, 10:04:13 AM

Addendum: Crap or Okay?

Addendum: Crap or Okay?
« on: December 30, 2004, 10:04:13 AM »
In assessing my potential for academic success at _____ Law School, it is of utmost importance that the Admissions Committee appreciate the distinction between my first (abortive) undergraduate experience and that which is represented by the academic record earned at my degree-granting institution.

Soon after entering the music program at (ttt) on a small performance scholarship, I became distracted and began to struggle academically.  Over the course of a few woefully unsuccessful semesters, I reluctantly started to accept the reality that the career in music of which I’d dreamt since age 12 was probably not the way I wanted to spend the rest of my life.  Disillusioned and unmotivated, I made the unwise decision to withdraw from school and enter the workforce.
 
Between withdrawal and reenrollment, I taught and co-directed high school musical organizations, delivered papers for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, and eventually landed a job working with substance abuse offenders and teenage drivers.  While the opportunity to help people afforded by the latter position was fulfilling in many respects, it also awakened in me an insatiable desire for self-improvement.  It was not long before every free moment I could find was being spent lost in a book, article, or newspaper.  The opportunity to nurture this intellectual curiosity, combined with the realization that I could do very little for the society in which I had grown so interested sans a formal college education, led me to reenroll.  I have since come to recognize that what occurred during my academic hiatus was nothing less than a personal transformation.
 
I understand and accept the utility of examining a candidate’s undergraduate career holistically; however, in my case such an examination is inadequate if not viewed in light of the personal and intellectual growth described above.  The stark contrast between these two efforts, as reflected in the LSAC Academic Summary Report, is significant because it suggests that my cumulative undergraduate GPA (3.38) is a far less representative measure of my academic capabilities than the 3.89 (4.0 adjusted) with which I graduated from (different ttt).

Re: Addendum: Crap or Okay?
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2004, 01:51:42 PM »
In assessing my potential for academic success at _____ Law School, it is of utmost importance that the Admissions Committee appreciate the distinction between my intial undergraduate experience and that [] represented by the academic record earned at my degree-granting institution.

Soon after entering the music program at (ttt) on a small performance scholarship, I became distracted and began to struggle academically.  Over the course of a few woefully unsuccessful semesters, I reluctantly started to accept the reality that the career in music of which I’d dreamt since age 12 was probably not the way I wanted to spend the rest of my life.  Disillusioned and unmotivated, I made the unwise decision to withdraw from school and enter the workforce.   REWORK THIS PARAGRAPH SEE BELOW
 
Between withdrawal and reenrollment, I taught and co-directed high school musical organizations, delivered papers for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, and worked with substance abuse offenders and teenage drivers.  The opportunity to help people afforded by the latter position was fulfilling in many respects and awakened in me an insatiable desire for self-improvement; it was not long before I [] spent every free moment lost in a book, article, or newspaper.  The opportunity to nurture this intellectual curiosity, combined with the realization that I could do very little for the society in which I had grown so interested sans a formal college education, led me to reenroll.  I have since come to recognize that what occurred during my academic hiatus was nothing less than a personal transformation.
 
I understand and accept the utility of examining a candidate’s undergraduate career holistically; however, in my case such an examination is inadequate if not viewed in light of the personal and intellectual growth described above.  The stark contrast between these two efforts, as reflected in the LSAC Academic Summary Report, is significant because it suggests that my cumulative undergraduate GPA (3.38) is a far less representative measure of my academic capabilities than the 3.89 (4.0 adjusted) with which I graduated from (different ttt).


Some grammatical comments:  Do not use contractions where ever possible. I've made some changes above.

I would suggest reworking the second paragraph.  This paragraph does not play to your strengths -- you should try to sound less negative about your previous situation if this is possible.  Try something like "My experiences at (undergraduate institution) underscored my growing belief that I was not destined for a career in music as I had long supposed.  Although I valued the opportunity to further my musical education, my disenchantment with the subject matter led to a pricipitous drop in my classroom participation and grades, forcing me to make the difficult decision to leave (undergraduate institution) and pursue life in the workforce."