Law School Discussion

Poll

yay or nay?  yes, this is heteronormative, i know i know.

a. yay
46 (74.2%)
b. nay
16 (25.8%)

Total Members Voted: 61

Girl taking guy's last name after marriage

TNGA60

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #50 on: April 10, 2008, 09:45:31 AM »
I wasn't trying to argue that the way to strengthen the family is by continuing the husband name tradition.
I was trying to make a more relevant point about how important strong families are.  

It seems like a lot of smart women are losing the desire to raise good children.

Educated women, on average have less children than uneducated women.   Why is that?


There is an old belief but I have already made too many jokes at the expense of women to go there.

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #51 on: April 10, 2008, 09:45:52 AM »
Also, i'm intrigued by the maternalism -> parenthood connection.

Maternalism is feminized, while parenthood is not. If you were going to make that connection, wouldn't maternalism -> motherhood be the way to go?

Maybe he thinks that women are the only real parents? ???

1750 is calling...


No I think that men haven't really changed that much over the years.  Women will even say that men never change.     If maternalism begins to disappear, parenthood will disappear.
Even though there will still be plenty of procreation.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(the exclamation points were to make sure that everyone realizes how emphatically I'm laughing at that post)

(The best part was "women will even say that men never change")

jack24

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #52 on: April 10, 2008, 09:48:43 AM »
Gender is important.  
Is there something wrong with a women wanting to stay home with her children?
Women can shape the next generation while men protect and encourage development.

You can go out and do whatever you want with you life, but don't think that what you do is anymore noble than raising a child.

Go ahead and label me as an ignorant sexist.  I love my wife as much as any man ever has.  She's a queen, and her children will cherish her..  Hopefully your career loves you that much.

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #53 on: April 10, 2008, 09:49:30 AM »
Oh, and tm, I would like to know what you wanted to say. You get a qualified free pass, just this once, and if it makes me laugh, even on the inside, you get another.

i wonder what angry sex with dash would be like?  i bet it would be awesome.

to my knowledge, you've never ever laughed, and even if you had i wouldn't expect that you would laugh at that so much as be offended.  so i won't be expecting another qualified free pass and you need not confirm that i won't be getting another one.

I swear to god, I completely laughed. Almost out loud. At school.


_________
FREE PASS

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #54 on: April 10, 2008, 09:50:35 AM »
Gender is important. 
Is there something wrong with a women wanting to stay home with her children?
Women can shape the next generation while men protect and encourage development.

You can go out and do whatever you want with you life, but don't think that what you do is anymore noble than raising a child.

Go ahead and label me as an ignorant sexist.  I love my wife as much as any man ever has.  She's a queen, and her children will cherish her..  Hopefully your career loves you that much.


OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

OH MY GOD

MahlerGrooves

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #55 on: April 10, 2008, 09:50:51 AM »
I can shed some light on the educated women and children thing, as this is something my SO and I are discussing in our own relationship these days. Oh, and a caveat before I start - I am 24 and she is 29.

It's not that she is averse to raising children - in fact, she wants them very much!  It's that she has put herself through a decade of very intensive education and training (BS in Chemistry, MM in music, Pharm.D. in pharmacy and medicinal chemistry) and she does not want that to simply vanish because she is "supposed" to raise a family.

I, for one, think it's awesome that she worked so hard and got where she is.  In fact, I am the one that doesn't want kids in the relationship.  This isn't because I don't want to have a family.  It's because I know that in the beginning of my career, I will not have the time and energy necessary to raise a child properly.  That being said, I do not want her giving up her career and staying home - sacrificing everything she has worked for - just because she will be in a position to do that.

If she ultimately decides that, eventually, she wants to slow down and have a family, fine.  But I refuse to allow her to give up all the professional aspirations she has and has worked so hard to make happen just because she feels it is expected of her to have kids and be a mother.  I love her for her ambition, her drive, and her working really goddamn hard to get places.  She would NOT be the woman I know if she gave that up for tradition.  In fact, I determined where I applied to LS based on being with her while she finished her education.  Such is my respect for her.

That being said, she had no problem deciding to take my name.  Maybe it's because she likes tradition.  Maybe it's because she likes my name.  More likely is the fact that since I am so clearly a supporter of her and her having an individual identity and career, she felt like it was something she could do for me, a small sacrifice that she could make. 

Taking my name is something I told her that I would understand entirely if she decided not to do, but that I was hoping she would.  She did that for me, as I would do other things for her.

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #56 on: April 10, 2008, 09:51:47 AM »
Gender is important. 
Is there something wrong with a women wanting to stay home with her children?
Women can shape the next generation while men protect and encourage development.

You can go out and do whatever you want with you life, but don't think that what you do is anymore noble than raising a child.

Go ahead and label me as an ignorant sexist.  I love my wife as much as any man ever has.  She's a queen, and her children will cherish her..  Hopefully your career loves you that much.


There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to stay home with her children, if that is her(/the family's equally informed) decision.

There is something wrong with presuming that there is something wrong with women who don't - particularly with suggestion that they're less of a woman, which is pretty much what you're doing, implicitly if not explicitly.

Further, while yes, gender does matter, many of the reasons that it DOES are socially constructed. So...it matters in the ways that we allow it to. It doesn't matter in some absolute, fundamental, inherent way.

mbw

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #57 on: April 10, 2008, 09:52:44 AM »
I wasn't trying to argue that the way to strengthen the family is by continuing the husband name tradition.
I was trying to make a more relevant point about how important strong families are. 

It seems like a lot of smart women are losing the desire to raise good children.

Educated women, on average have less children than uneducated women.   Why is that?


Hmm... 1BA + 2MAs +1ABD + (hopefully) 1JD --> 5 kids. 

Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #58 on: April 10, 2008, 09:54:57 AM »
I wasn't trying to argue that the way to strengthen the family is by continuing the husband name tradition.
I was trying to make a more relevant point about how important strong families are. 

It seems like a lot of smart women are losing the desire to raise good children.

Educated women, on average have less children than uneducated women.   Why is that?


Hmm... 1BA + 2MAs +1ABD + (hopefully) 1JD --> 5 kids. 

Lord, lady. No wonder you're old. Do you sleep ever?

(JUST KIDDING I LOVE YOU)

jack24

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Re: Girl taking guy's last name after marriage
« Reply #59 on: April 10, 2008, 09:55:20 AM »
So let me get this straight...

You don't deny that strong families are essential to society.
You don't think theres anything wrong with a woman staying home if it's her choice

So do you think a family is stronger if a woman stays home?  Or do you think that has nothing to do with it?