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Messages - AtlantaSteve

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General Off-Topic Board / Re: Ask a Redneck
« on: May 18, 2006, 12:57:34 PM »
have you ever sported a rat tail?


General Off-Topic Board / Re: Ask a Redneck
« on: May 18, 2006, 12:57:10 PM »
Why has the rest of the country not tuned in on the glory that is SWEET TEA???

Ironically, my father and I both prefer unsweet tea.  My wife brews iced tea that tastes like cough syrup to me.

General Off-Topic Board / Re: Ask a Redneck
« on: May 18, 2006, 12:56:13 PM »
Do you talk about the Civil War at the dinner table much?

I have met some "history buffs" who are into that sort of thing, but they are the exception.  People who get into festivals and Civil War re-enactments are the redneck equivalent of Star Wars or Dungeons & Dragons geeks.

General Off-Topic Board / Re: Ask a Redneck
« on: May 18, 2006, 12:54:44 PM »
Why own multiple handguns and rifles just 'cause you can?

Why do you steal my thunder by providing the correct answers to you own questions?

Seriously though, it's so we can fight the government when the next revolution happens.

Why do the "buckle-up" signs on the Georgia highways look like confederate flags?

When was the last time you were in Georgia?  The only place I've ever seen this was on the "Smoky and the Bandit" DVD.

Why is "southern pride" not creepy to y'all?

Personally, I find ANY form of "<insert-your-demographic-here> pride" creepy... it's always symptomatic of fear and hate no matter which group is in question.  However, it stems from the insecurity that every group on earth has... that they are persecuted and at risk of seeing their culture decline if they don't guard and promote it strenuously.

What's up with the strip malls everywhere?

I've paid taxes as a Georgia resident all my life, but I'm pretty well-traveled through my career.  This is hardly a Southern phenomenon.

General Off-Topic Board / Re: Ask a Redneck
« on: May 18, 2006, 12:49:03 PM »
how do you feel about midget wrestling?

Boring... I prefer watching the masked Mexican luchador guys. 

and do you have a mullet?  Would you like one?

I had one briefly in high school.  This was the late 80's, we didn't know any better at the time.

General Off-Topic Board / Re: Ask a Redneck
« on: May 18, 2006, 12:46:47 PM »
Whats so interesting about NASCAR?

The actual answer is:  physics.  The aerodynamics get "interesting" when a vehicle exceeds 150 MPH... at racing speeds, air resistence becomes a serious factor.  An interesting phenomenon is that two cars racing in a line, bumper-to-bumper, form a more aeordynamically-efficient unit than a single vehicle traveling alone through open air.  This means that two or three drivers, working together, will beat a driver who's on his own... even if that driver has a superior car.

Aerodynamics is one factor, personal and professional relationships are the second.  It's important to realize that these drivers are all rednecks and hold grudges FOREVER.  Most of them dislike each other, and wait for an opportunity to repay each other for prior wrongs.  At the same time, most drivers work for "team" owners who employ multiple drivers... even though the drivers aren't supposed to cooperate together like a true "team", it's understood that there are consequences for screwing over the boss' other employees.

Put this all together, and you have weird drama.  Each week, people who hate each other find themselves in situations where they have to work together, and people who are supposed to be watching each other's backs end up screwing each other over.  It's alot like an episode of "Survivor".

Oh, and everybody loves a giant car wreck... let's be honest.

General Off-Topic Board / Re: Ask a Redneck
« on: May 18, 2006, 12:30:37 PM »
Is Jeff Foxworthy right?

You'll have to be more specific... but probably.

General Off-Topic Board / Re: Ask a Muslim anything.
« on: May 18, 2006, 12:29:41 PM »
   Who's the best movie villain and what was motivating his evil scheme?  To clarify, by best I mean worst and most laughable.

I, personally, am going to go with the bad guy from the first Mission Impossible who becamse a traitor and went against everything he had previously stood for because after the soviet union collapsed, he was an "obsolete relic of the cold war."

Every example of the "evil football coach" archetype... the guy who tries too hard to "control" the hero quarterback (i.e. calling lots of running plays as opposed to letting him throw Hail Mary's on every down).

General Off-Topic Board / Ask a Redhead
« on: May 18, 2006, 12:25:08 PM »
Well, since I'm starting an "Ask a Redneck" thread, I suppose I could also answer questions from my perspective as Scotch-Irish.  Fire away.

Oh, before you start... yes ladies, "the curtains match the drapes".

General Off-Topic Board / Ask a Redneck
« on: May 18, 2006, 12:23:32 PM »
Okay, there are threads out there for Muslims, blacks, Asians, and probably other groups I have missed.  For a change of pace, how about a question-and-answer with the only group that's UNIVERSALLY disliked?  In the interest of fair disclosure, I must admit that I probabaly don't really qualify as "redneck" (at least not in the eyes of my rural relatives).  However, I have lived in Georgia all my life, own two guns, have a passing knowledge of NASCAR, and know what chewing tobacco tastes like.  By LSD standards, I'm the "Squeal like a pig, boy!" dude from "Deliverance".

So ask away, ya'll! 

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