Why the bitches get to have all the fun, yo?
1. Do you like baseball? Really?
2. Were you aware Superman ice cream was a product of Heaven?
3. Rank these 80/90s reruns in order of your appreciation for them: Golden Girls, Roseanne, Murphy Brown.
4. Do you like onions?
5. How much sugar do you put in your coffee/tea?
6. Would you rather go to Colonial Williamsburg or South Beach? (lets pretend Chica doesn't live there for this question)
7. Most embarrasing CD you own?
8. Popped collars are: 1. Gay; 2. Real Gay; 3. Totally Gay
9. Did you vote for George Bush?
10. If you did, would you again if the election was tomorrow?
11. Do you know what E.V.O.O. stands for?
12. What is the most you would spend on a pair of jeans?
13. Do you mind abstaining until marriage?
14. Would you undergo genetic procedures to produce only male children, thus avoiding the horror of a potential household full of hormonal female offspring?
15. Dr. Pepper or Cherry Coke?
16. Ann Coulter is: 1. Satan's Mistress; 2. Satan's Spawn; 3. Satan's Mother-In-Law
17. Calvin Klein or Ralph Lauren?
18 A. Does the following joke offend you, or make you think hard about the inequities of modern medicine? The Queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating. "Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???" The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry Your Majesty, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly." "Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen. On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job. "Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?" The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health care plan."
18 B. Identify the error that occurs in the first sentence of the above joke.
19. Besides its literal meaning, can you name why "En Fuego" is a phrase important to popular culture?
20. Would it bother you if people referred to you as the Eva Braun of the Revolution?
21. How do you feel about this woman?
22. Did you wear something like this to prom?
23. Are you fat?
24. Explain how deeply you hate the Red Sox, then do it once more, with feeling.
25. Describe, with as little or much detail as necessary, your most promising sexual characteristic.
Thank you. Our office will get back to you whenever it feels like, because we don't care that we charged you $80 to keep you waiting five months.