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Messages - Lexington

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Black Law Students / Re: The Man Shortage--A Brother's View
« on: May 26, 2005, 10:48:03 AM »
Thanks guys  :)

LP  ::) :P

Black Law Students / Re: What R U Eating? Healthy Cooking
« on: May 26, 2005, 10:16:55 AM »
LMAO about the cholera.  That is too funny but I know exactly what you mean.  I save my appetite when I go downtown just so I can eat some  :)

...Yes, he has corn w/ mayo but I'm not sure about the cheese.  Maybe I just never noticed.  What exactly is elote anyway?  What does it mean? I guess I could look it up online now that I know the spelling...

Black Law Students / Re: The Man Shortage--A Brother's View
« on: May 26, 2005, 10:08:19 AM »
all bets are off until you say I do

so if you were wouldn't have a problem with another woman stepping to your man? and he in turn became friends with her? that's bull and you know it..

i don't believe in sharing men.. that's why i was never interested in the "dating scene"... i rather get to know one individual over a given period of time than a couple of different guys...

waiting around for a man to break up with his girlfriend is an act of desperation

To answer your question, I definitely wouldn't have a problem with a woman stepping to my man.  He is a mature, responsible adult and it is up to him to value and respect his relationship.  If he feels like being "friends" with another woman is ok, then so be it.  If he feels like being "friends" with another woman puts his relationship in jeopardy and he still chooses to do so anyway, then clearly he is not the one for me.  My man will be allowed to have friends and "friends" cuz truthfully there's no way for me to tell the difference AND its not for me to dictate who he deals with.  The choice will be his to make and I will trust him and his judgement.  And if I have to wonder if he's making the right choice, then again, he's not the right one for me.  No one knows what the future will be.  Girlfriends (& boyfriends) come and go.  There are friends that become lovers & lovers that become friends.  The point is, nothing's guaranteed. As long as I don't disrespect myself by being involved with someone who's already involved - emotionally or physically - I don't see what the problem is. 

With regard to the all bets are off comment, that's truly how I feel.  If I found the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, they would be my husband and not my boyfriend.  There's a reason why people choose not to take that next step and its usually because they're not ready to make that lifetime commitment (granted sometimes it can be about timing or other logistical reason, but not usually).  With that in mind, if I don't know for sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, why would I allow that person to preclude me from meeting the one that i do want to spend the rest of my life with.  If my boyfriend feels the same way I can respect that.  If he trades me up for a *better* model, then obviously I didn't meet 100% of his needs.  I want him to have his perfect someone just I want to have mine.  Granted, we don't need to speak of these things, but if he's doing his thing trying to figure out whether or not I'm "it" then so be it.  I'd rather know sooner than later.

Obviously, there's a whole other conversation that can go on here with regard to monogamy, STD's etc, but I'll leave it at: rely on no one but yourself where that's concerned.

Black Law Students / Re: The Man Shortage--A Brother's View
« on: May 25, 2005, 07:03:56 PM »
I'm not necessarily talking married man, but what do you mean by "friends"?

"Friends" is like friends - but with an underlying, unspoken potential.

Black Law Students / Re: Apartment Hunting
« on: May 25, 2005, 06:55:39 PM »
haha!  that's my consolation, actually.  can you imagine?  4 woman with synchonized menstrual cycles living under the same roof?  hell naw!   >:(

Actually, there are 3 of us where I live now.  It's not so bad.  The menstrual cycle thing is a little bit creepy.  But hey, there's always someone to ask about when to expect it ;)

Black Law Students / Re: Apartment Hunting
« on: May 25, 2005, 06:50:43 PM »
i've had my own place since i graduated HS.  i'm on my 4th place.  definitely ask about parking.  if you're moving into an apartment complex, make sure you ask for an apartment in a building with a lower resident occupancy or you'll be walking some LONG distances to get from your car to your place.

also ask about the maintenance schedule!!!  OMG, i cannot stress this enough!  there's nothing worse than being awoken at 6:30 in the morning by a screaming lawn mower or weed eater on a day when you should actually be sleeping in.  this is especially crucial in LS, i would say, where every minute of sleep counts.

find out about the housing community safety options.  try to get a place in a gated community.  it's definitely better.  make sure you take advantage of all move-in specials and try to find a place that returns your deposits.  lots don't.

find the places you're interested in living in that are closest to your school, then stop by each property for tours.  if you like the place, take an application and fill it out at your leisure.  if they let you submit your own credit report, you should definitely do it.  the only reason you would get denied at a place is if you have any felonies or major criminal issues, which is obviously not the case for you.  depending on your credit and non-existent renter's history, they might up your security deposit by making you pay another month's rent. 

i found 3 roommates online.  we sign the lease to our 4 BR condo this week.  i won't be moving to NJ until july, but i need to get a place by june 1 in order to qualify for in-state tuition which is about $6K cheaper than out of state. 

good luck on your apt search.  wish me luck too.  i've never had more than one roommate before, and i've never lived with more than one female at a time.  scary.   :o

I definitely wish you luck.  4 roommates? Online?  Desperate times require desperate measures.  I'm sure it'll all work.  And if not, I hear the library's open 24 hours.  LOL. Ok, sorry  :)

Black Law Students / Re: Apartment Hunting
« on: May 25, 2005, 05:27:04 PM »
Thanks, that was really helpful. While I was aware of some of the things you mentioned, I didn't know about others, so good lookin out.

But about this credit report thing... what do you consider a "VERY recent" credit history? Six months? A year? Two years?  Also, I didn't know that each time someone checks your credit report, you lose points. Could you say a little bit more about that? Like, do you lose points only if there's a problem, or if it's checked period?

I've already started looking for an apartment because the housing market where I'm attending school is super competitive, and if I wait until July or August to find a place, I'll probably only find hole in the wall pieces of sh*t.

I would consider very recent to be within the last month.  When people run your credit, its called an "inquiry."  The inquiry itself makes your FICO score go down.  I have no idea what the reasoning is behind it.  Inquiries stay on your report for 6 months. 

Black Law Students / Re: ask a black dude!
« on: May 25, 2005, 04:23:56 PM »
lol.. bp that is definitely true, and i am glad you stepped up to answer some questions on this thread.

serious question though, and one i have always wanted to know but have been too embarrassed to ask: what is the deal with menthol cigarrettes?  i recently read that they are consumed in greater quantities by blacks than by whites, but i have not found an answer as to why.


Okay, I'm stumped on this one myself, being a non-smoker, but I too am under the impression that blacks prefer menthols.  This one might take some field research.  I'll get back to you brother.

Not a black dude or a smoker...

How or why Newports got branded as THE cigarette for black folks, i don't know.  But its just tradition now like cowboys and Marlboros.

..Okay maybe that wasn't such a good answer  :-\ LOL.  I give up now.  Ha!

Black Law Students / Re: The Man Shortage--A Brother's View
« on: May 25, 2005, 04:16:37 PM »
Ahh, it warms my heart to see "friends" in quotation marks again.  Thanks Lexington.


Black Law Students / Re: The Man Shortage--A Brother's View
« on: May 25, 2005, 04:04:27 PM »
Oh but she gets a "happy birthday" and all I get is a lecture on how the converse of a statement isn't necessarily true? Wrong, just wrong. There's certainly a shortage of giving men!

Question, ladies. Now we've been discussing the shortage of good, black men, so say you meet one, but he's taken. What do you do?

I personally wouldn't touch a taken man with a ten-foot pole. Don't want the drama nor do I want someone else's leftovers. LP, you know what I'm talking about. But for the rest of you ladies, truthfully, if you thought he was a really good catch aside from the fact that he belonged to someone else, if he was willing to step out, would you be a willing participant? Would it just be for fun, or would you be ok letting the relationship become more serious? Honestly, now...

Married men are definitely a no go cuz I'm not going to hell for anybody.  But I would be "friends" with someone who has a girlfriend. I think all bets are off until you say I do. Nothing intimate though.

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