« on: January 12, 2006, 02:46:11 PM »
I'm not sure it matters either way, but if forced to choose, I'd say unjustified.
Although I could've done without the "y'all".
I want my last sentence to be powerful and to convey
that I have never or will never back down fom challenges because if I had I wouldn't have made it this far
Does what I have work, is it grammatically correct, any suggestions on new sentences, keeping it as is, or revisions
After all, I am not someone who succumbs to challenges, with a heartfelt commitment of never becoming.
It seems like the with is throwing it off to me.
I think there is another reason why these things tend to be formulaic --
It's such an important piece of writing for most people, as it affects LS admission, and probably most people don't want to branch out and get "too cute" with it. Which isn't to say that more people couldn't write more gracefully, but that a majority of people who could be more adventurous probably play it safe.
Plus, law students come from all academic and professional backgrounds. Some are English, Poli Sci, and Journalism majors who can write, sure. Others are engineers, bio majors, professional economists, and for lots of people in this category, they have maybe only written 2-3 pieces of this nature in their whole life to this point -- they may not be capable of anything much more complex than something like the "hamburger" style essay.
Did it ever occur to any of you that the reason everyone's PS's sound the same and are so 'mediocre' is because at the end of the day, most people simply do not stand out in many ways?
I started my PS in my childhood, because we had no money and lived in a poor area surrounded by drug addicts. I now close loans for people in poor areas, surrounded by drug addicts. My parents worked hard and are no longer poor, in large part by removing themselves from their then-peers (directionless, under/un-employed drug/booze people). I want to advocate to build better communities now and work on affordable housing issues because I think that's what made the difference in my family -- living in better communities led us to a better life.
This does not make me unique, but it makes me someone who has use for going to law school. Of course that's what I wrote about.
Most people don't have great stories. The PS is not about making yourself out to be Indiana Jones -- it's about making sure you are a competent writer (being a lawyer involves copious reading and writing), and making sure you've got some logical reason for wanting to pursue a ~$100k undertaking for the next 3 years.
Distinguishing yourself as something truly great/special is only important when applying to a school your numbers don't line up for.
I somewhat agree with your last sentence - if your numbers are at the high end of the index for a particular school, then the job of your PS is not to screw up: not to write so badly that they are appalled & not to write something so inane/offensive that they just can't bear the idea of inflicting you on their student body.
I disagree, though, and in a way, about the idea that "most people don't have interesting stories". You don't have to have had a life that approximates Indiana Jones' to have a great story, and I can very well imagine Indiana writing a PS that would bore me to tears, and perhaps appall me, too .
From my experience in reading several statements, the problem is not so much that people don't have the raw material, but that they leech what is interesting about themselves, about their lives, and about their perspectives out of the piece. And they do this by using an ingenious array of poor writing techniques. In the end, it is not the story (there are only 7 stories in the world), but how it is told. Who you are comes out not so much in the narrative as in the writing style.
If your numbers are dodgy, the PS could be important and would presumably have to be somewhat above average. Dani says that they've "got to want your ass", and I agree.
Everyone stands out. Not every PS does.