« on: January 20, 2006, 03:04:52 AM »
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Messages - Burhop
« on: January 19, 2006, 10:25:24 PM »
The opening paragraph makes you seem like you're probably quite interesting--the tone is a bit manic, and the amount of information thrown at the reader is like drinking out of a firehose. This is not necessarily a bad thing, if this is your intention--just be super honest with yourself about what your goals are re: tone and impression.
It's not uber-personal yet, but some of the subject matter does seem as if it could veer into "overshare" mode. Remember: There are truths, and then there are truths that will get you into law school. It's not enough to pen a super-truthful memoir--your energy should be focused on building some sort of profile that makes you a clearly desirable candidate. So, any colorful anecdote that makes you seem curious and quirky but *does not* make you seem law-ready should be summarily chucked out the window. ;-) I've not seen the development of the essay, so I won't presume to know whether anything you write will fall into the latter categories.
I find there's a good question to ask oneself at the end of each paragraph: "how does the information here help sell me to adcomms?" It you cannot immediately think of a reason, reassess. It's just a good framing mechanism for the PS process.
best of luck,
« on: January 17, 2006, 03:31:45 AM »
I believe in show over tell as well. ;-) No need to thread 'me, me, me' stuff in there--that's when things get all abstract on the reader (i.e. "I think this, I feel this, I believe this" statements are best kept to a minimum). Glad to hear you're taking strides to slim 'er down! Keep at it, and the revision process should reward you with a more succinct (but still colorful and memorable) piece. Feel free to PM further revisions my way.
Justified looks much better. I justified all of my essays. They look much more polished when justified.
That polished look is the same polished look magazines/newspapers have--you'll often see right justification in mass media (but not always!) It isn't objectively easier to read, though--it can stretch words and spaces out, thus ruining the look of individual lines and paragraphs. The page may look prettier as a whole, but don''t mistake that for ease of use.
walking through Spain
I know--we'll see! I could be one big blister when I return. My buddy I'm traveling with is super on it--she's already gotten Pilgrim status for us, so we get all the amenities--the best spots on the floor in the primo monasteries, you know, that stuff. ;-)
~Dani, official pilgrim
Writing Center conferences are events that gather directors, coordinators and tutors from around a specified geographical area for purposes of cross-pollination. Anyone who plans to be involved can create a proposal, and if granted, you get to teach your topic to those that sign up for your conference. I dunno how often 'personal statements' are a topic--our center's specialties are online tutoring sessions and the SNO method. There are usually loads of pedagogicals...lots of strategy stuff, like modified socratic, working with non-native speakers, reasonable expectations, building relationships, teacher/tutor relationships...stuff like that.
I'll unfortunately be walking through Spain (well, not unfortunately) when the PNW conference takes place, so I'm teaching all the folks in my writing center what I've learned, so those that venture to Corvallis in April can cross-pollinate in my stead.
« on: January 12, 2006, 04:49:30 PM »
The cutable stuff in an essay is almost always in the intro and conclusion. The conclusion esp--we tend to go on and on, when it could be 2-3 sentences and be just as effective. Short-and-sweet is my mantra!
heh...you'd think I was from somewhere other than smack-dab in the middle of the US. ;-)
I'm tentatively formulating a presentation for our PNW regional Writing Center conference based on some of the work in this here thread--immortalized, you all are!
(Yoda ain't regional, he's universal)