I know this is probably a no brainer for many, but personal circumstances are making this a very difficult decision. My fiance and I were planning on heading back to New York (we are currently living in LA) and he has accepted a transfer back to NYC. Up until about a week ago, I did not even think I was going to LS this year until I was accepted off both schools waitlists.
My fiance is now furious at me, thinks that I should reconsider being a lawyer altogether since, according to him I won't be able to have kids or a normal family life. I know he wants me to either give up on ls all together or else go to Fordham so he can move back to NYC. Am I being stupid for even thinking of doing this?
I should say as well, that he is from New Jersey, I am from Cali. We met four years ago in NYC and about two years into our relationship he accepted a job in LA. I was pissed, but after 9 months of him begging and us living long distance, I left my job in New York and followed him here. I was the one who initally wanted to move back as I had a sucessful, lucrative career in New York that I gave up when I moved to LA. I only applied to UCLA in the first place because he thought we were going to be in LA for a while.
Now, he is making me feel guilty for wanting to go to law school and guilty for wanting to go to UCLA, since, according to him I hate LA so much. According to him, I am uncertain as to whether I really want to practice law... I do get scared about the commitment and fear not having a family, but deep down I worry that if I don't at least try it, I will regret it and wonder "what if" the rest of my life. I have told him that I would 100% rather be in New York too, but am I stupid for turning down UCLA for Fordham?
Your situation transcends the issue of law school. To what extent do we sacrifice for our spouse? To what extent should we risk taking on education in a field we may end up hating, and incurring large expenses, when by doing so we will also upset our spouse. This calculus only you can make. Further, it involves issues about which you cannot know.
And no, your not stupid. Either UCLA or Fordham would educate you just fine. I suspect that which school is best for you depends less on the school and more on where you are--LA or NYC. If you loved NYC and hated LA, you'd do better at Fordham. If you really didn't want to be in NYC and loved LA, UCLA would be better. But again, yours is more complicated than that, and involves what may be of far greater concern--marital discord. Law school is toxic on relationships--I know this all too well. Even in the best of circumstances, with fully supportive spouses, law school is tough! If you stay in LA, your relationship will be harmed. If you go to NYC, it will be harmed. You are in a lose-lose situation, and I hope you guys can come to some sort of agreement.
I wish I had better advice, but I don't think anyone can really give you advice on this issue. NOt everyone goes to the school that they really want to go to, either for financial or personal reasons--not to mention the reality that at least 90% of persons would rather go to a school they didn't get into or couldn't get into. But rest assured, your career won't be ruined because you had to go to Fordham over UCLA, or assured because you went to UCLA over Fordham.