With my move only eight days away I'm pretty sure the slight anxiety has now turned into full out panic. I can barely sleep, I'm terrified to leave my friends and my life and I still can't shake the idea that I might be making a huge mistake in my choice of school. I really feel like I should be excited by now and I'm not--not one bit. I feel like I've waited so long for this day and I'm compromising--I'm really afraid that a year from now I will regret this decision and three years from now I will be stuck with a degree from a less than ideal school and a ton of debt.
And if I do completely fail next year and/or am completely miserable I'm not convinced that I will have the heart to up and leave. Maybe it's normal to feel this way..I don't know. I just really expected to be excited and I'm not...it's kind of disappointing.
Ok, whining over. drying eyes...time to pack.
totally normal, don't worry. i know very few people who don't second guess their big commitments, and law school is a big ass commitment. so some panic, some fear, some uncertainty - all totally normal. when you mix up a big ass commitment with leaving your life and support network...well, that makes it even harder to focus on all the reasons you started it in the first place.
and here's the best part...ready? you can always change your mind. if you want to transfer to a "more than ideal" school, you can work towards that goal. if you decide after one year of law school that it totally isn't for you, you leave and pursue something that makes you smile every day. if you are totally convinced right now that this IS a mistake, defer for a year, maybe move to the new city and find a job, and then see how you feel.
be creative in your problem solving....maybe all you need to do is invite your friends to come visit you in the first few weeks of school, so the transition to the new place isn't so lonely. i am doing just that with at least four different people/couples - and they all know that i plan to be studying at least one day of the weekend they are coming to visit. makes me excited about being somewhere brand new, where i know no one, and maybe exploring a little of it with people i love and who support me.
as for me, i spent my afternoon reading every single one of my rejection letters. helped give me perspective in a weird kind of way, knowing that i got rejected from some of the very very best.