« on: August 26, 2008, 11:53:21 AM »
now you ready tackle how wipe your heinie?
First step is, to take a nice dump. For the best results, don't make it runy, because that will effect how efficient you will be able to wipe your behind.
Now you are ready to wipe! Depending on how thick or thin your toilet paper is plays an important role in sheet selection. If it is very thin, you may want to take a sheet or two more, but if it is thick, well yeah you get the picture. But anyway, let's assume it's normal thickness. A good amount to pull out for the first wipe is about 4 sheets. (sometimes more if your ass is real nasty from a wet turd)
After pulling out the required amount, you fold it in half longways, twice. This gives you much more strengthening for the first messy wipe. Usually, on the very first wipe, I just do one sweep, and then toss it in. But if you aren't too messy, you could get away with a wipe, folding it in half, and then wiping a 2nd time.
After starting off the first few wipes with 4 sheets, you will be able to go down to just 3 sheets. This will be the normal process. Wipe, fold, wipe, toss. Now if you're lucky, you can get away with 3 wipes in one trip. Wipe, fold, wipe, fold, wipe, BAM 2 points! This requires much care not to get poo on your digits. Only seasoned pros can pull this one off.
PART 2 - Technique
I don't know what other people do, but when I wipe, I rub it in there a few times nice and hard to get as much as I can in one swipe. Just gotta be careful not to rub too long, or the a-hole fairies will nibble on your pinky.