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Messages - just ducky

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I feel kind of obnoxious that my first post on the boards here is asking for people to read my personal statement, but if anyone is willing to help me out I would appreciate it.  I am actually pretty happy with it at this point, so I'm looking for someone who is willing to be nitpicky and really let me know if there is something vague/pretentious/snobby-sounding and the like.  Please send me a message or reply here if you're willing to help me out.

Thanks in advance and I'd be happy to help other people out, too.

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