How much would you have to pay a person who can get you a 180 AND be "artistic" enough to pull this off.
Are you sure LSAC didn't mention the cursive thing in the paperwork or their website? I think they do.
It's not like they make you write your essay in cursive. That would be a wicked trick. It's just for a statement that's not scored and not even read by anyone. I'm not trying to cross the line into jerkhood by saying this, but how could you worry about this to the point of "distraction causing [you] to get a few questions incorrect, that could have a huge impact on [your] score and what school I get in, and [your] earning potential for the rest of [your] life. If you really were worried though, I will suggest that no matter what you not write about this being a concern or problem for you in any of your law school applications (like the essay explaining a low LSAT score or something).
Someone able to replicate my handwriting for the certifying statement doesn't also have to get a 180... they just need to be able to get a higher score than I'm currently willing or able to get. Cost, for some, may be immaterial. While your correct that generally speaking this would be reliable and finding a person able to stand in for you and pay them enough may be difficult, it's not outside the realm of possibility, especially for someone with money and connections.
I didn't see anything stating I HAD to write the certifying statement until the day of the test. Though, I can't say I read every single bit of documentation available (a web search brought up some older posts on the Internet for instance).
Why would I worry about this as I took the test? Because it may have cause my entire test to become invalidated, a concern that was unduly put upon me due to not fully disclosing this relevant requirement. Even a minor distraction like this may take me away from complete concentration on the test, and therefore I'm now at a disadvantage to anyone else who didn't have such a distraction. You may find it an insignificant concern, I may find it very significant concern. It is a subjective experience that would vary from person to person.