Where did O'Dara get to?
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I am a dark skinned brother and my girlfriend is light. I often get negative comments from sistas (usually dark) who claim that I am with her because I only like light girls. Or they complain that all successful black men either date white women or the next best thing, mixed women.
welcome to the board...
for clarification's sake though.. that isn't the issue.. the issue is men and women who choose to ONLY date light or dark skinned women or men...
Saying that a certain feature is all you require might imply what you say. However, saying that a certain feature is a prerequisite does not mean that other characteristics/requirements do not matter.
If we are to avoid using criteria that will hurt others' self-esteems then doesn't that basically require us to be open to everyone? Because surely, any criterion will exclude someone and thus "negatively affect a person's self-esteem his or her whole life".
Why is it that despite all criteria hurting someone's self-esteem, certain criteria are okay anyway while others are not okay? What makes historically charged criteria like skin color and hair type especially bad when their ultimate effect (hurting others self-esteems) is the same as any other criteria?
Now you're venturing into something different.
It is possible and, realistically, even common to be sexually indifferent to a feature while still seeing the beauty in that feature and in those who possess it.
Personally, I'm glad for all the trolls/scary blogs... they really made me reevaluate where I stand on the rank v. $$$ debate.
But see, why should I try to feel an attraction to someone I don't want? There's no shortage of men I want and I just don't understand what seems to be an attempt to make even romance PC.
I totally understand the historical context (believe me, it isn't that complicated to get) but I still don't get the 'so what' here. If an African-American really does prefer one skin tone over another, even if the preference is due to social conditioning, so what? I am just not seeing why it is such a big deal. What harm, other than hurt egos and irritation, is caused? Is anyone losing a job, being denied an education, going hungry, being wrongly imprisoned, dying etc because someone out there does not want to date them?
By the way, thanks, MachuPicchu, for a civil, non-bitchy answer.