« on: June 22, 2009, 02:12:58 AM »
YES. EVERYONE EVER IS INVITED.
I got hit on at Nick's Crispy Tacos yesterday, because UNBEKNOWNST TO ME it was polk st. pub crawl and it was all of these people that I would swear, SWEAR, were from New Jersey. But apparently not.
And the only place to sit was at the counter, which, fine, but then someone sat next to me, and it was like, um. Sigh. Okay. And so I am BEING polite, kind of, but damn if he wasn't super Jersey, and like, not to be some snotty a-hole, but he thought law school was 8 years, and it turns out he was including 4 years of college. [eta: @#!*, I sound snotty. *&^%. I don't know. I think he was younger than me, also, quite possibly. Also he was in the Coast Guard? I REALLY AM NOT SNOTTY. I just don't meet a lot of people these days that see 4 years of college as, like, extra schooling. NOT THAT I DISLIKE PEOPLE WHO SEE IT THAT WAY. I like them just fine so long as we agree in other respects. See infra re tort reform. Oh *&^%, spoiler.]
ANYWAY, so I am spilling taco juice all over my bag (not a euphemism, although holy god, it's a disgusting one), and I just can't take it anymore, I've tried all my lines about how I love criminal defense because I love criminals, especially wife beaters, and he WON'T SHAKE. So finally, I've decided to become a lesbian, and I throw in something about how when I first started doing this, what, two years ago now, my girlfriend was all, can't you do something noncontroversial like abortion or women's rights? And finally, last week, I told her about my 90 pound client up for assault w/ a deadly weapon (A STRIKE) over some bull little thing with a pair of craft scissors, and she was like, you know what, that's bull, @#!* it, I'm proud of you.
Which is a conversation I did have, recently. But it was with my mother. So in my head, my girlfriend is a combination of the bf (length of relationship, etc.), my mother (conversations I have with her), and my BUDDY RACHEL THE LAZY COLLEGE STUDENT (name, if it came to that).
And he barely f-ing notices, the idiot.
So THEN he's like, you know, I used to want to be a judge, to deal with those lawsuits.
You know, some of those lawsuits, just...throw 'em out.
[oh my god, he's trying to pick me up using TORT REFORM.]
[Buddy is BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE. See, e.g., my favorite professor ever, Jon Hanson, who spends two plus weeks, in Torts, on the myth of Tort Reform and how it serves large corporate and right wing interests.]
[After I told him I had a GIRLFRIEND.]
[Not Jon Hanson. This fool.]
So I settle in, thinking--this is going to be fun.
"Y'know, I'd really want to be the judge on one of those cases, like, guy breaks into a house and stabs himself on a kitchen knife and then sues, just, just throw it out."
Cue me: "You know, it's complicated though, because you can't just be the judge for cases like that, you also have to be the judge for cases where a 75 year old retired woman is permanently disabled by 3rd degree burns over 60% of her body because McDonalds serves its coffee 20 degrees hotter than the industry standard, even though they know there have been other injuries, just because they don't want to pay to recalibrate their machines or retrain their staff. You have to be the judge for that case, too, so it's complicated."
"Uh, well, I, uh, I mean, you order coffee, you kind of expect...uh..."
"Well, I don't know that anyone really expects coffee 20 degrees hotter than the industry standard, which is the difference between 2nd degree, non-permanently-disabling burns, and 3rd degree, permanently disabling burns, especially when the company already knows about the problem and refuses to do anything about it."
And by this time, I've finished, so I hop down, and say, "Nice talking to you."
I'm trying to decide whether to email Hanson about the HILARIOUSNESS of someone trying to pick up a student of his with TORT REFORM.