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Messages - writetrackad

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Personal Statement / Re: is my PS too corny/lame?
« on: September 14, 2009, 10:24:19 PM »
Dear Kbo26,

Above all, your theme and storyline are very strong, and you write in a solid fashion.  However, there are many ways this statement can be enhanced, and ultimately, made into a strong and compelling statement.  First, the way you tell the story, from an objective standpoint, reads very cliche and forced.  your essays generally need stronger transitions between ideas, to help the fluidity of the read for the admissions committee.  Your sentences tend to be a bit choppy and disjointed, and therefore, would make for a more active read if your were able to integrate ideas with transition words and phrases.  Second, your essay largely would be significantly enhanced with more active, colorful and animated word choice and writing.  Ultimately, the key with admissions essays is to be original, be remembered weeks after your essays have been reviewed, and most importantly, market yourself as an indispensable student who will enrich the law school community.  Creative and colorful language achieves this. Third, the essay can benefit from better structuring.  Paragraphs tend to encompass several different ideas, and you also have a penchant for redundancy.  In order to curb this, you can tighten up your ideas and create space with the word quotas for new material.  Fourth, the style of the essays need further polishing.  The language, in many instances, seems forced and inappropriate, and it seems as if you are forcing eloquent writing when it is perhaps not in order.  I can tell you are a solid writer, but the tenor of the piece does not flow and suffers from poor word choice in many instances.

These are my general critiques.  If you would like more in-depth review of your statement, and your candidacy, please contact me directly at my email,

Kal, Write Track Admissions

Personal Statement / Re: Should I write about growing up in the Middle East?
« on: September 10, 2009, 06:59:38 PM »

I think writing about your experience in the Middle East, particularly if you have an interest in the region or intentional law, is a great idea considering recent socioppolitical developments.  In short, the Middle East is a "hot" area with regard to the law, and articulating a novel and powerful story that relates the region, or is set in it, will be an original read for the adcom.  I am of Middle Eastern descent, and wrote my law school statement many years ago about my experience growing up in te region.  Currently, I am head consultant of Write Track Admissions, and my company has helped a number of candidates get into the top law schools for several years.  Our service is personalized and geared toward optimizing the quality of your personal statement.  If you need more help, please email me at with your statement draft - I can indeed provide you with a free assessment of your statement, and also share with you some samples statements of last year's clients who were admitted to Harvard, Yale, and Cal-Berkeley, among other programs.

Personal Statement / Re: Consultant for help with Personal Statement?
« on: September 10, 2009, 06:55:41 PM »

I am head consultant of Write Track Admissions, and my company has helped a number of candidates get into the top law schools for several years.  Our service is personalized and geared toward optimizing the quality of your personal statement.  I have three years of experience as an admissions officer at two top 15 law schools, and have the insider experience and insight to help you construct a statement that will resonate with the admissions committee.

Please email me at with your statement draft - I can indeed provide you with a free assessment of your statement, and also share with you some samples statements of last year's clients who were admitted to Harvard, Yale, and Cal-Berkeley, among other programs.


Kal, Write Track Admissions


You are indeed an unconventional applicant, but your age and status can be conveyed in a productive and original fashion if you go about your personal statement in a provocate fashion.  Draft your statement so that your admission into a school's incoming class diversifies the student body, and injects it with a novel perspective and wisdom.  Please send me your statement and I am glad to give you some feedback.


Kal, Write Track Admissions

Recommendations / Re: LOR Advice
« on: September 08, 2009, 12:19:47 AM »
Ideally, it is best to mix academic with professional LOR's.  However, since you are in a position to only obtain timely professional letters, I would submit two professional letters and one academic - even if the academic is quite old.  There are multiple strategies to "refresh" an old professor's memory of your achievements in his/her class.  First, submit a packet that includes your resume, transcrips, and personal statement - these materials will guide her/his drafting of the LOR.  In many instances, they may even ask you to draft the letter. 

In short, more recent letters are best, without question, but try to offset an older academic LOR with a recent professional LOR.  You will, however, need at least one academic letter to round out your roster of LOR's. 


Kal, Write Track Admissions

A General Anatomy of an Effective Law School Personal Statement
Kal, Write Track Admissions

After receiving many emails about how to construct an effective personal statement, I thought I would provide a general outline/schematic for how to approach conceptualizing and structuring the statement.  Indeed, preparing a clear vision is vital before putting pen to paper, and composing an outline provides an established framework that affirms your statement will flow thematically, and read fluidly.  Again, the following outline is very general, but provides a solid template you can use to commence organizing the structure of your statement. 
_____________________________ _____________________

Introduction: Try to start with an action or some unique statement, perhaps a quote or slogan.  The key is to start the essay with some memorable idea that you can also use to conclude the statement.  A provocative or dramatic message that will immediately capture the attention of the admissions committee reader.  For instance, consider the following opening to an effective law school statement: 

“Our language is the reflection of ourselves.  A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers.”  I vividly recall reading the words of Cesar Chavez, the iconic Mexican American organizer who dedicated himself to California’s farm workers and their claim to justice.  Listening to President Barack Obama proclaim Chavez’s rallying cry, “Si si puede!” not only resurrected Chavez’s altruistic spirit, but also a revitalized American ethos premised on a recommitment to multiculturalism and inclusion. 

Primary Essay Body: Use the majority of the statement to elaborate on the points made in the introduction but make sure that there is an element of continuity where there is a clear trajectory in the client’s life that has lead them to pursue the program of their choice.  Integrate the personal narrative with the accomplishments, and articulate a compelling story/progression that leads up to the client’s decision to pursue a particular academic course of study. 

School/Program Paragraph: Use a section of the essay before the end of the essay to state why the school the client is applying i.e. location, professors, programs, future opportunities after graduation.  Herein, the salient key is to integrate your aspirations and interests with the strengths of the particular program, which motives your decision to apply there. 

Conclusion: Use the central point made in the introduction and bring the essay back full circle, concluding with a salient statement that really captures the clients story and statement.

Please contact me directly for any questions you have about the personal law school statement, or more comprehensive help with you statement. 

Personal Statement / Re: Resume Length
« on: September 06, 2009, 02:39:58 AM »
Riser 38,

The law school admissions resume should be no longer than one-page, unless you are an unconventional applicant with extensive professional experience, shifting careers toward a career in law.  Moreover, the admissions resume should feature your academic achievements, and be constructed as a Curriculum Vitae instead of a professional resume, showcasing your academic promise, extracurricular involvement, and honors. 

Please contact me directly if you need help with constructing a CV, or for samples. 


Kal, Write Track Admissions

Personal Statement / Re: Berkeley's 4pgs
« on: September 05, 2009, 07:49:25 PM »

As a graduate of the UC-Berkeley (Boalt) School of Law, and an admissions consultant for Write Track Admissions, I can personally testify that although Boalt provides you with (a maximum) of four pages, it is preferable to have a statement that is actually shorter, more focused, and thus less susceptible to being skimmed by the admissions committee.  Therefore, your statement is fine at 2 pages if the content is polished and compelling.  Also, however, consider if your application would benefit from an addendum.

Best of luck, and please contact me if you have additional questions.

Hamada, Write Track Admissions

Personal Statement / Re: PS length?
« on: September 05, 2009, 07:33:12 PM »
No problem, and please contact me if you have additional questions!

Kal, Write Track Admissions

Personal Statement / Re: Would anybody like to edit my PS?
« on: September 05, 2009, 05:50:53 PM »
I'd be glad to review your statement.  Are you seeking content critique, or stylistic or grammatical review?


Kal, Write Track Admissions

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