Law School Discussion

Nine Years of Discussion
;

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - writetrackad

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7
1
Personal Statement / Re: Personal Statement- PLEASE CRITIQUE
« on: March 10, 2012, 04:37:56 PM »
Your case for why you want to attend law school is solid, but can be significantly articulated and presented in a more precise way.  Your content is solid, but reads more like a chronological list of experiences that culminates with a prevailing desire to attend law school.  In sum, your statement can be enhanced and humanized considerably.  For samples of stellar statements, and more comprehensive assistance, please email me at kal@writetrackadmissions.com, where I can give you a more thorough assessment of your statement.

2
Your statement, above all, had exceptional content.  You have an excellent story to tell, but the tone and style of the statement is not as provocative or as colorful as your content.  It can be considerably enhanced, and you have the numbers to indeed merit admission to DePaul, if not consideration to higher ranked schools (with an addendum for your LSAT score).

Please advise if you need further assistance by email me directly at kal@writetrackadmissions.com

3
Double T,

I think the family background augments your statement, and brings a human dimension to your statement!

4
Personal Statement / Re: Can someone read my PS for the Univ. of Miami.
« on: November 26, 2010, 06:02:10 PM »
John,

I really like the theme of your statement, and the content you have is solid.  However, the flow, structure and style of the statement can be markedly improved and enhanced.  The theme, which showcases your passion for baseball and sports, has a number of strong parallels with the law - drive, competitive spirt, and discipline - there are a number of ways to make this nexus far stronger.  Serving as an umpire, furthermore, furnished you with particular skills that are essential for success in law (being objective and serving as a mediator, for instance).  Second, what area(s) of the law interest you most?  What sort of lawyer do you aspire to be?  These must be flushed out in the Statement.

If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me at Kal@writetrackadmissions.com.

Kal

5
The objective of the diversity statement is to showcase not only your multiculturalism, but also your diverse and distinct perspectives, interests in the law, and how your personality will enrich the law school community.  With that said, I think your diversity statement can be markedly improved.  You have solid content, but first, you fail to effectively introduce the theme of the statement or your identity in the introduction.   This leaves the reader/admissions committee somewhat clueless, until halfway through the statement.  Remember to write the statements from the vantage point of the admissions' officer, and given that most statements (personal statement, diversity statements, etc) are skimmed, it is key to have your introduction be a cogent, comprehensive, and leading synopsis of what to expect in the remaining body of the piece.

If you have any further questions, please contact me at Kal@writetrackadmissions.com.

Kal

6
Personal Statement / Re: What if you found some
« on: November 26, 2010, 05:52:27 PM »
Doovyan:

This, ironically, is a common dilemma.  But your instinct are correct, immediately contact the respective admissions committees and advise them that you will be sending an updated personal statement that should be read instead of the initial copy.  I would attach a brief addendum candidly explaining the oversight as well. 

7
Personal Statement / Re: Is this overkill?
« on: September 18, 2010, 07:52:58 PM »
MeMe,

I am glad you know how to approach this question, but trust me, many future law students do make the error of focusing too heavily on one program or curriculum on their Personal Statement.  However, best of luck on your statement, and again be sure to follow up with any specific questions if you have them.

Kal

8
Personal Statement / Re: Please give feedback
« on: September 18, 2010, 01:52:20 PM »
Khan:

The statement is a solid start, but reads like a chronological portrayal of your life.  It can be made far more dramatic, and compelling, if you deviate away from this generic structure and opt for a more focused and "lessons-learned" approach.  As a former law school admission's officer, I've encountered many essays that follow this mold, and these generally turn off the committee.

For a closer review of your statement, please contact me directly at kal@writetrackadmissions.com

Best,

Kal

9
Personal Statement / Re: PS rough draft for some rough critique
« on: September 18, 2010, 01:49:28 PM »
MemeMeMe:

The statement topic is compelling, indeed, and it is a solid draft and start.  However, the story can be told far more effectively, and more critically, more tightly linked to your interest in the law.

Second, you have a number of structural essay flaws that compromise the strength of the story, and can make it a more effective read if it is better organized.  Sentences tend to be disjointed, and you can enhance this by adding stronger transitions between ideas to make for a better flow.

These are among my most notable critiques.  If you require a closer, professional assessment of your personal statement, please contact me directly at kal@writetrackadmissions.com.

Best,

Kal

10
Personal Statement / Re: Diversity Statement
« on: September 18, 2010, 01:46:36 PM »
"Diversity" generally relates to race, ethnicity, socio-economic status and like identity-related qualities, but can also encompass life experiences that equip you with a unique perspective or outlook.  Therefore, I believe you can leverage your traumatic injury as a basis for diversity if you can articulate, convincingly, that is has resulted in your having a diverse worldview, distinct personality, or unique interest in the law. 

I think this could make for an exceptional Diversity Statement.  If you require more help or need any more questions, please feel free to contact me at kal@writetrackadmissions.com.

Best,

Kal

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7