« on: July 13, 2010, 12:27:26 AM »
I can't possibly imagine, Dischord, where you could hate being a summer associate. This--with very little hyperbole--has got to be among the best gigs in human history.
You're given giant checks, showered with extravagant perks, and handed easy-yet-interesting assignments.
Well I keep getting these "research this question to which there is no answer" assignments, which are nerve-wracking and time-consuming. Mostly I really don't like the social stuff, which I wouldn't care about, except that I am being evaluated on it.
I mean, imagine if you were forced to sit around with, like, hipsters all day and got evaluated on how not-awkwardly you interacted with them ... that's kind of like what it's like for me to try to not be awkward around people who mostly talk about TV shows and sports that I don't watch and know nothing about. It's not that there's anything WRONG with that, it's just that I have to constantly be putting in the effort socially and yet still look bad compared to my colleagues who can participate in these conversations in a meaningful way. To top it off I'm pretty antisocial anyway so trying to put myself out there is painful and takes a lot of calculation and effort. I actually prefer just doing my work in my office silently to talking to coworkers.
But yeah, again, these things would not seem like such a big deal if I were somewhere that had a ~100% offer rate. Without that, though, all this stupid *&^% really gets magnified. I'm sure you don't sit there and second-guess every conversation you have with someone, but I do because every time I feel like I could have been more "on" I have to wonder if that's what is going to get me cut from the class.
The money is indeed nice although I am too afraid to spend it because I fear these are the last paychecks I will ever get.