This thread further confirms my decision to marry an Asian foreign woman. American women generally show too little respect to their husbands. In case people reading this don't know, men need respect in a relationship more than love. Women need love more than respect. Taking the man's name is a sign of respect. My fiancee shows respect to me in an incredible number of ways including insisting on cooking, cleaning and doing laundry - by hand - plus never complaining about my bad habits and instead praising me to others. Further, she offered to take my name despite the fact that only 4 people on the entire planet have her last name.
After considering this, I've decided that she should keep her name and simply add my name at the end. Yes, she might have a long name, but she's considering dropping her middle names (she has four names) so that she has only three names - 1st name (actually one of her middle names), her last name, and my name with no hyphens. Our children will have 3 names - 1st name, her name, my name & no hyphens.
She showed me respect by offering to take my name when the topic arose and I showed love by proposing a compromise that satisfied both of us. I also traveled almost exactly half-way around the world (i.e. as far as one can go) and quit my job to be with her while we await a VISA.
Yes, it is so respectful of her to agree to be a maid, cook, nanny, and hooker for the price of one. Why can't you clean your own laundry by hand or with the washing machine? Can't you learn to cook? It isn't difficult. Do you want a partner or a domestic slave? I am not saying that people don't play different roles in a partnership: maybe one works and the other does a lot of the domestic tasks or both work and share responsibilities- but you shouldn't expect it or feel disrespected if she doesn't want to do all of the things your mommy used to do for you. I resent, as a woman, your entire post. There are also a lot of men (not saying most by any means) that show disrespect for their wives in far worse ways than in the way you implied women disrespect their husbands (I am guessing you meant disrespect by refusing to do housework or not take last names). Days of servitude in American marriages are over- you're correct. And perhaps (let me just guess here), your wife, living in her current country (which I only know is in Asia), finds you (and this is the truly sad part) to be her best option at a decent life because her country isn't as evolved as America. I guess that's why they have mail-order brides.
PS. A lot of women like to cook or do laundry and help their man; but it shouldn't be all the time (even if she is a homemaker because of children) and it shouldn't be expected. Yes, full-time employment is tough, but you gotta do your chores as mom says!
PPS. Wow, you're a really modern man to have decided for her about her last name.
You just called my fiancee a hooker! For your information, I showed her this and she's deeply offended by what you wrote. You are exactly what I'd expect from the typical American woman - selfish. Maybe that's why America has a 50% divorce rate or maybe it's "modern men". She on the other hand has an L.L.B. from the Univ. of London and is fluent in 4 languages with a passing knowledge of several more. We met in Chicago while she was here on another VISA. She's incredible and I love her more than words can express. She chose to be with me because of how I listen to her and treat her with love.
I'll have you know that I've worked since age 11 (I'm 31 now), paid for all my major expenses (housing, cars, education etc.), done my own laundry since 11 and my Mom rarely cooks except on special occasions (although she did due to money when we were young). She's the best Mom any man could want - she home schooled her 3 children until high school (part-time home school). Clearly better than your Mom who failed to teach you respect. Have you paid for all your cars (cash), insurance (cash), college (cash) and law school (loan paid off), and house ($50k loan remains) by yourself? Plus have enough money saved to take over a year off work and support 2 people with no money from anybody else? I highly doubt it. (paid-off Nov. 2010)
As for her doing everything, as I wrote - she insists! Although sometimes she'll relent and let me help. I've done those things for myself most of my life. She feels it's disrespectful for the man to do those things. And yes, she intends to be a homemaker. Our children will know two cultures, speak several languages, and have excellent education.
I won't reply to any further posts by you, but I couldn't let your vile spew of vomit go unwashed.