Law School Discussion

Nine Years of Discussion
;

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - zreinhar

Pages: [1]
1
Personal Statement / Re: please butcher my PS
« on: October 10, 2009, 09:51:34 PM »
ill be sure to deflower... the word limit is being pushed as it stands, im at 11.5 font and right at 2 pages double spaced, emory wants 12 font, so if I wanted to expand on my reasoning for doing my own thing, what do you think would be the best to take out? thanks again for the help everyone..

2
Personal Statement / Re: please butcher my PS
« on: October 10, 2009, 06:57:57 PM »
Below is the newest.. a little more time invested and such. I will probably go back and make the passages less flowery de-flower if you will  ;D but otherwise I fell alot better about this one. again brutal honesty accepted and respected..

   My hands slide effortlessly over the worn leather searching for their home in the grooves. I maneuver past one defender, spin past another, let the ball kiss off the backboard and pass through the net. This is a place where eloquent aggression gives birth to deceptive fluidity in a way that would engender envy in a ballerina. This is a sanctuary where my afflictions are admonished and fears relinquished. It is a place where I can forget the pains of which the world seems to never give enough. This is where I have matured from childhood to manhood, where I have learned some of my most important lessons and fought some of my toughest battles. This is the basketball court, and from an early age it has been my haven.
   Although I have never played basketball for a team, I have played since I was very young. The first goal I ever played on was also my favorite, an old bucket with the bottom cut out nailed to the side of my house at some indeterminate height. The point wasnít for it to be nice, expensive, or even dependable. The point was for me learn the methods of the game; be it against imaginary defenders, inanimate objects, or people. I would close my eyes and pretend I was on a court leading a team to victory or doing all I could to avoid defeat.
   The way I learned to play basketball was in no way typical, being taught and played by a woman who was over six feet tall and had been the first captain of an ACC powerhouse. Fortunately for me she was also my mother. Being raised by a single parent can be difficult for everyone involved, child and parent alike. But we had a bond that few in our situation had, and that was through the love of basketball. Some particular traits I inherited through playing her was a drive to win and an attitude on the court that told me to never stop, no matter how tired I was or how much it hurt. She taught me that the game was won and lost through effort; whoever gave the most would do the best. 
   Naturally, as I got better, I wanted to see how my capabilities truly measured up against the best I could find resulting in a search for more challenging competition. Every time I tested these waters I emerged with a new perspective and approach. I became well versed in the intricacies of reducing my opponent to a set of weaknesses that could be exploited for my success. As my experiences progressed my competitiveness heightened. The next step in my journey was the most difficult for numerous reasons and would prove to be the one of the defining moments in both my relationship with basketball and my life.
   Tryouts for my high schoolís basketball team required the survival of conditioning, both mental and physical. We had to be simultaneously athletic and intuitive to beat our opponent through manipulation of their aforementioned points of weakness. We had to be able to execute regardless of the circumstance. None of the preceding requisites proved to be the locus of my shortcoming. In the process of being medically cleared to play my doctor discovered that I had severe hypertension coupled with a heart murmur. These two ailments in conjunction with one another were conducive to cardiac complications at any moment of overexertion. The doctor was surprised that I wasnít displaying any outward indicators such as numbness in my extremities or experiencing symptoms such as kidney failure or difficulty breathing.
   The news was as shocking as it was disheartening. I had worked so hard to only have my dream stolen away by something that was out of my control. I would be lucky to not have a heart attack before my forties much less participate in competitive basketball. I decided otherwise. I researched my condition, methods of alleviation and courses of correction. I drastically altered my diet, my lifestyle and my approach to training. The intensity that burned inside refused to dwindle and drove my voracious disposition to new heights.
         College proved to be a proverbial test of my dauntlessness through the introduction of a slew of new competition. My athletic abilities and intellectual understanding of the game developed to a profound level and resulted in one of the proudest moments of my life. On one of my more ravenous days I realized the schoolís coach had been intently critiquing my abilities and competency in the sport. Shortly thereafter I was invited to tryouts as one of only three players not recruited outwardly by the school. An offer that is rarely seen and afforded me the notion that I was capable enough to compete on a level for which a select few are qualified.
         I have discovered through my hardships that perseverance allows me to overcome my burdens and realize my dreams. It is at this point in my pedantic pursuit of personal galvanization that another endeavor bides me into its presence. The intellectual pursuit of law has been lingering in my self-conscious for some time and at this point is brought to light in an effort to begin a new direction in my self-discovery. Taking the drive I learned through my aversion to adversity will allow me to survive and excel through the methodical and cerebral rigors that the study of law provides. Emory Universityís progressive expertise in Intellectual Property and partnership with the Georgia Institute of Technology through the TI:GER program coupled with its excellence in diversity make it the perfect place for me to begin the pursuit of my goals in law.

3
Personal Statement / Re: please butcher my PS
« on: October 05, 2009, 02:26:45 PM »
So I neglected to write in the previous explanation of my new ps that after I gave up my dream of playing basketball due to my heart condition I kept playing, and have always played, and actually got offered a walk-on spot on my college's team, so I think that would show that the way I dealt with my adversity paid off, or at least would give me a happy ending. Also, I like the pic above, it took me a sec to realize what it was in reference to my OP. But as far as emory is concerned, I need to do more then just get int, like get 60k+ otherwise Im off to Georgia State... should be an interesting cycle..

4
Personal Statement / Re: please butcher my PS
« on: October 02, 2009, 02:28:40 PM »
Dear Lollypotter,

You just made my day. Thank you for not being afraid to tell me what a piece of crap it was as I was waiting to hear that. I have decided to instead write about dealing with my heart issues that caused me to give up my dream of playing basketball. I realize that it would result in a more in-depth passage to explain one instance my ability to overcome adversity. Also thanks for the realism in your declaration of my admission to Emory. You're actually the first person to tell me that. I will be sure to re-write, do you mind if I pm you personally?

thanks

5
Personal Statement / Re: please butcher my PS
« on: September 28, 2009, 02:01:23 PM »
haha no offense taken. The first draft was just to iron out my subject flow and overall ideas/approaches. I don't want to invest time going over grammatical issues if my final draft is going to be vastly different. But I guess I'll just iron out what I have here and go from there. It's hopefully halfway decent to the schools I'm looking to get into. I'll prob have run of the mill Recs too. Im hoping my GPA, ECs, and LSAT will put me above most of the other applicants to Emory.. either way thanks for taking a gander..

6
Personal Statement / Re: please butcher my PS
« on: September 25, 2009, 02:06:25 PM »
That makes sense, from what I read in alot of the other posts adcoms tend to read alot of "Why I want to be a lawyer" or "Why I'll be a good lawyer" I thought they were looking for more of something that describes the unique aspect I could bring to a classroom discussion. Though I'm sure I could be wrong..

7
Personal Statement / Re: please butcher my PS
« on: September 25, 2009, 10:43:56 AM »
I take it by the lack of replies that I have either alot of work to do or no work to do... I'll guess I'll come up with another topic...

8
Personal Statement / please butcher my PS
« on: September 23, 2009, 07:47:32 PM »
Below is my PS. I have good numbers and am looking for money from Emory. (3.71 with a 168)

People have always questioned my decisions. I canít say that I blame them, Iím sure that from the outside they could look outlandish, backwards, or even downright stupid. But I have never been one to follow, and have taken pride in my ability to find my own way. It has probably been more of a means of discovering who I am as an individual than actually making any of the choices. From my early life, to my education, to my marriage I have only been interested in what fits best for me. I have also found that this traditionally not been what fits best for everyone else.     

As a child I had trouble identifying myself, being a child of a single parent can be rough on both parties involved. While everyone bragged about how strong their dad was, I was curious as to how strong my father was. When it came my turn to say what feat of strength he could perform, all I could do was shrug and say that I didnít have a dad. This was an early force that controlled the interest in self-discovery and understanding that has followed me throughout my life as well as exhibited itself in my choices.

Of the choices I have made, one that comes up often is in regards to my high school. I had the option of attending two separate institutions for high school. McEachern was one of the top schools in the state while the other, Osborne, always seemed one incident away from closing. My natural choice was the latter. This choice was one of the defining moments of my life because as result I have found that were you go to school depends wholly on how hard you work and what you are willing to sacrifice for you dreams. Taking this mentality and applying it to the college I was to choose resulted in quite a backlash from those close to me.

I only applied to two schools, and got in to both. I was one of 4 students at my high school to be accepted to Georgia Institute of Technology. I also applied to Southern Polytechnic State University, more as a fallback than anything else. But in the process of praying, and searching for where I belonged I realized that it was at Southern Poly. Many teachers at my high school berated me for this choice and wrote it off as me being lazy, scared, or some combination. But in the end I knew the right place for me would be a place where I could learn, experience, excel, and grow as both a student and as an individual while finding out more about who I truly am.   

While at Southern Poly I was given many opportunities to give back to my institution, push myself as a student, and lead my fellow students. I welcomed these chances with open arms and experienced personal prosperity that I would have lacked anywhere else. I have been president of both a National Honor Society, and a successful robotics competition team. I have able to test my academic poise by being a member of the university honors program. I have gained real world experience working at the Georgia Tech Research Institute. I have led lowerclassmen through my assistantships and mentorship. In all, I have made the right choice over and over again, regardless of what others have said.

The choice that many regarded as the most impactful was my decision to get married. While that isnít as earth-shattering as it may sound, keep in mind that the woman I married was 18 at the time to go along with my own 21 years. Many people wrote it off as immaturity and not knowing what I was getting into. But I knew that I was ready to write the chapter of my life about the woman I wanted to stay with forever.

I look to the future again in an effort to continue my life long journey of self-discovery and can think of no better place to accomplish this task than Emory Law School. Emoryís prestigious theoretical training coupled with its renowned practical trial techniques seminars make it the law school I wish to call my own.

Note that flow and word choice will be imrpoved in the final draft...

Pages: [1]