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I do not necessarily support the following.  I just thought I'd post it in response to the 'Dear Red States" thread.

Dear Blue States:

On behalf of my client, the Red States, I am sorry to hear that you've decided to end your long-time union. My client is upset but understands your need to "move on."

It is not as though this is completely unexpected. You've maintained that my client is illiterate, stupid, racist and otherwise ignorant for years.

In an attempt to avoid litigation, my client proposes the following settlement of property and custody.

You can keep Harvard and the other over-rated Ivy League schools. When snooty professors get their pantyhose all in a bunch over the mere suggestion that there may be innate differences between men and women--this proves they are not just hyper-sensitive but also completely blind.

You get Hillary Clinton. We get Condoleezza Rice.

You get CBS and Newsweek. We get Fox News. We'll take the heartland and farmland. People who value hard work and traditions.

You get abortions, welfare and gay marriage. You can also have all the tofu-farting, tree-hugging celebrities in Hollywood who wouldn't recognize a spotted owl if it defecated on them.

You may have all the financial institutions and computer technology, but we get the majority of steel mills, coal mines, textile plants and medical-research facilities.

We'll also maintain control over the majority of all agricultural land, including corn, wheat, rice, sugar, potatoes, soy beans and cotton. You get the most beaches and restaurants.

You get California, where a man can't be fired for wearing a dress to work. We'll take Mississippi, which, despite being the poorest state, gives more to charity per capita than any other.

You can also have the marital "friends." You know. France, Germany and the other pious hypocrites who claim the moral and intellectual superiority to criticize us from the sidelines, without having any "skin" in the game. That would include the spineless friends like Spain, who cut and run at the first opportunity.

We'll take Wal-Mart and privatized Social Security accounts. You get the "non-crisis" Social Security system and United Airlines with its non-crisis pension plan.

You get the following gasbags: Michael Moore, Al Franken, Barbra Streisand, the Dixie Chicks and the United Nations. We get gas guzzling SUVs and the oil fields to run them.

We'll keep Congress. You can have the courts, since you apparently prefer that judges make up laws, anyway.

We'll take all the guns, since you must believe armed, law-abiding citizens are a greater threat to society than criminals.

You get to give ex-felons and illegal aliens get the right to vote. (Note: Please advise whether we should immediately deport our illegals to you or to their country of origin.)

Since you are anti-war, we get custody of the military. They'll be happier with us because we appreciate and support them. Most of them vote with us anyway, since the concepts of duty, honor and responsibility seems to be as foreign a concept to you as they are to the United Nations.

In the event you should you ever require military protection, I suggest you first ask Canada for help. Then I suggest you ask your favorite Ivy League professor for a precise academic explanation of why Harvard bans the military from recruiting on campus.

I look forward to your response.


Michael Lafferty, Esq.

Attorney for the Red States

General Off-Topic Board / I want...
« on: July 01, 2005, 06:35:15 AM »
... candy.

I thought this would be a good interview to post (it is much like the UPenn interview I posted), as much of the information relates to all law schools and their admissions practices.  I got the following interview at

What general advice would you like applicants considering Carolina Law to know?

It is important to answer the questions on the application completely and to follow the directions as given. Be completely honest and forthright in your answers and write the personal statement as asked.

When do you encourage applicants to apply?

We encourage students to apply as soon as possible after October 1.

Are there any specific characteristics that you target in the applications to help you identify the 'best fit' candidates?

No. We purposely don't target particular characteristics. The intent of our admissions process is to put together a class that is diverse across all lines. We are looking for applicants of varying backgrounds, ages, and experiences.

Out-of-state residents account for only 25% of your incoming class. Is admissions more competitive for out-of-state residents? Do you have any advice for out-of-state applicants considering Carolina Law?

We are mandated to have 75% of our entering class as North Carolina residents. Last year of our roughly 4,000 applications, 3,000 were from non residents. Admission is more competitive for them because they are applying for a smaller number of seats. However, in terms of the median GPA and LSAT, the numbers for residents and non residents were virtually the same. The advice for non residents is to apply as early as possible. I highly recommend non residents taking the June or October LSAT.

What should applicants with professional work experience most heavily emphasize in their work history?

You should emphasize what your responsibilities were, any goals you’ve achieved, and the relevant skills that you gained at those places of employment.

How important is an applicant's LSAT score? What advice do you have for applicants who struggled with this exam?

The LSAT and the GPA are important in our admissions process. We engage in full file review at UNC but the numbers are important. The best advice for applicants regarding the LSAT is to study for as long as it takes YOU to get prepared for the exam – not the amount of time it takes others to get prepared. I would recommend a minimum of twelve weeks prep time.

What is your policy regarding LSAT scores from applicants who have taken the test multiple times?

We consider the highest of two scores for admissions purposes.

How important is the personal statement in the application review process?

The personal statement is very important. Applicants should take care to read the directions that apply to our personal statement question and follow those directions.

Are there any common mistakes that applicants tend to make with their personal statements?

They submit the same personal statement to UNC that they are submitting to every other school they are applying to.

Does your staff offer evaluative interviews?

We do not offer interviews.

How many transfer students do you hope to enroll this year? What factors do you consider when evaluating a transfer application?

The number of transfers who will enroll is unknown at this time. There are a number of factors that are considered – the first of which is that you have to have been able to be admitted to the UNC School of Law as a first year student.

Do you have any special instructions or advice for applicants who wish to visit your campus in Chapel Hill?

If you wish to visit, please contact us three to four days in advance of your visit. You should plan your visit during the times that classes are in session to get the most out of your visit. It is very difficult to visit during final exams and over the various breaks throughout the school year.

I thought this would be a good interview to post, as much of the information relates to all law schools and their admissions practices.  I got the following interview at

Do you have final numbers or even good, early indications of how this year's application volume may compare to the 2002-2003 season? How about the demographic make up of the applicant pool?

Applications to Penn Law for the 2003-2004 year increased by just one percent from the 2002-2003 season. As of this date, the fall 2004 incoming class includes students from 38 states, the District of Columbia, and seven foreign countries. Students of color represent 38 percent of the incoming class (up from 32 percent last year) and 47 percent are women (unchanged). The 25th/75th percentile LSAT for the incoming class is 166/171 and the 25th/75th percentile GPA is approximately 3.5/3.8; note, however, that we admitted students from a GPA range of 2.9 - 4.0 and from an LSAT range of 153 - 180.

What general advice would you like applicants considering Penn Law to know?

Because we receive many highly qualified applications and admit a small percentage, applicants should articulate how they will uniquely contribute to the Penn community and/or the legal profession based on their backgrounds, their experiences, and their interests. We are looking for more than a successful academic record and competitive LSAT score.

Is there a difference in the acceptance rates of applicants under the Early Notification Option, those who apply in the regular round, and those who apply after March 1?

The acceptance rates of applicants applying via Early Notification are similar to the rates of those applying via regular decision. However, the acceptance rates of applicants who apply in late February, or after our deadline are significantly lower than other regular decision applicants.

When do you encourage applicants to apply?

Applicants should apply by mid to late January to provide themselves with the best chance for admission.

Are there any specific characteristics that you target in the applications to help you identify the 'best fit' candidates?

The Admissions Committee does take a holistic approach to reading every applicant's file. Below are 5 important qualities we are looking for among our candidates:

1. A strong academic record in a curriculum that is broad, challenging, and rigorous.

2. Intellectually ambitious or curious.

3. Thoughtful, in-depth written expression that is revealing of the person.

4. Committed and disciplined, as evidenced by academic, extra-curricular, community, or professional achievements.

5. That they will somehow uniquely contribute to the Penn Law community and to the legal profession based on their experiences, interests, and challenges or obstacles that they have overcome.

What should these applicants most heavily emphasize in their work experience?

What is important to us with regard to work experience is the contribution the applicant made to the company or organization for which he or she was working, i.e., we are not looking for any particular type of work experience, but rather, we want to know how the applicant contributed, what he or she learned from the experience, and how he or she will use that experience to enrich the Penn community or legal profession. Every applicant should provide a clear and accurate resume with their application. We also encourage working applicants to provide at least one recommendation from a supervisor focusing on your employment experience.

How important is an applicant's LSAT score and what advice do you have for applicants who struggled with this exam?

Though an applicant's LSAT score is an important factor in the review process, it is not the deciding factor for the committee. Applicants who have struggled with their LSAT should be assured that Penn Law will consider many other factors during the review process.

What is Penn Law's policy regarding applicants who take the LSAT multiple times?

We will consider an applicant's highest LSAT score. However, if there is a significant difference between an applicant's highest and lowest LSAT score (more then 4 or 5 points) the applicant should address this discrepancy in an addendum to his or her application.

Does your staff offer evaluative interviews?

We do not offer evaluative interviews.

Let's talk about waitlists. How many applicants do you anticipate will end up on the waitlist for at least some part of the year? How many of them will be eventually accepted off of the waitlist and what advice would you like to share with any waitlisted applicant who happens to come across this interview transcript?

The number of applicants initially waitlisted, and the number of waitlisted applicants who are offered admission (if any) varies greatly from year to year at Penn Law. Waitlisted applicants are encouraged to provide one or two additional supporting documents to their file, such as an additional letter of recommendation or an additional essay or personal statement. While we encourage applicants on the waitlist to express their continuing interest in Penn, constant communication with the office, either via email or phone, will not improve their chances for admission. We also do not offer any interviews or appointments to waitlisted candidates.

How are re-applicants viewed by Penn Law and what do they need to do to be successful the second time around?

Re-applicants are not viewed any differently than other applicants during the committee process. However, it should be noted that candidates are unlikely to be admitted unless there is some significant change since their previous application.

Does your staff re-examine their previous application(s)?

Included in any re-applicant's file will be their previous application.

Each year Penn Law receives a certain number of transfer applicants. What advice would you like to give to these applicants?

Each year, Penn Law enrolls a limited number of students with advanced standing who have achieved superior records at other law schools. The transfer application process at Penn Law is highly competitive. The most important factor in the review process for transfer applicants is their first year performance in law school. It is also important that transfer applicants submit letters of recommendation from law professors at their current school who can speak to their academic performance and potential.

How helpful do applicants generally find a campus visit?

We strongly encourage all candidates to visit Penn Law to become more familiar with the school and the University campus, see Philadelphia, and have the opportunity to attend the law class. We offer weekly information sessions, which include a class visit, tour, and discussion with an admissions officer, in the fall and winter months. Class visits are offered on a daily basis throughout the academic year. Prospective students are also welcome to take a self-guided tour of the Law School anytime during the year.

Do you have any special instructions or advice for applicants who wish to visit the Penn campus?

Applicants who wish to visit the law school should check our website ( for our Fall and Winter information session schedule and class visitation schedule.

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