« on: March 05, 2005, 10:14:57 AM »
Just feeling a bit down today, and I was wondering if anyone could commiserate.
Until this whole law school application process, I was a pretty confident woman-- I went to a top ten university, I have a short but thusfar successful research career, I volunteer, have lots of friends, and am overall pretty happy.
Since I decided to go to law school, a couple of things have changes (I am hoping this is short term, not long term, as the changes are not all positive).
I have become competetive and obsessive. I was overly dissappointed with my LSAT score (I usually don't dwell), though I scored in the 97th percentile. I am becoming jealous of my friends that are being accepted to better schools than I am, and friends who are already attending highly ranked schools. I am not (or should I say was not), a jealous person. In a short time, my career confidence (and equally my intelligence confidence) has shrunk to the size of a peanut.
What upsets me the most, however, is that I suddenly care about how others view me and my accomplishments. Maybe, to some extent, I always did, but because I went to a top university and have a good job I didn't worry about it.
Now that I am not attending one of the best law schools in the country (but I am still going to a top 20) I feel sub-par. I know I want to go to law school, and I know I will be a competant and successful attorney.
Please don't flame me, I just want to get this out anonymously. I hope no one else feels this way, but if you do, you are not alone. Why am I feeling so down on myself? I want it to stop.