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Topics - jillibean

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General Off-Topic Board / E-cards-- hilarious!
« on: June 22, 2007, 06:24:46 PM »
So I found this e-card website and I wanted to share it with ya'll because they are freakin hilarious. There are so many I could give to so many people.

My favorites: "I crave the feeling of a warm laptop on my crotch", "I think third cousin is distant enough for fellatio", and "I think of you every time I browse my cell phone on the toilet"

Financial Aid / Grad Plus- Law Loans or Student Signature Loan??
« on: June 03, 2007, 04:31:57 PM »
So I am starting the whole process of applying for a loan but I am a tad confused seeing as how I never had to apply for a loan before. I want to get a Grad Plus loan through Sallie Mae but the only two options of programs through sallie mae: law loans or the student signature loan. Which one is Grad Plus or is it neither?

General Off-Topic Board / Laptop Insurance (Extended Warranty)
« on: April 24, 2007, 05:01:40 PM »
So I have to buy a laptop and the one I really want comes with a one year warranty. For an additional $500-600 I can get it covered for 3 years which will cover accidental spills and if I drop it. I know I shouldn't be cheap because the one I want is already $1500 but I can't help but not want to attach an extra $500 to it.

Is it worth it?

General Off-Topic Board / Law School Drop Out?
« on: April 04, 2007, 05:35:27 PM »
From the Facebook group: I've thought about dropping out of law school at least 10 times today

12/19: Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why did you drop out of law school?

I didn't. Which part of "leave of absence" made it sound like I was not going back? Sure, I have no intention of ever going back, but that shouldn't be at all clear from saying that I took a leave of absence. And besides, are you always so nosy? What if my answer is that I had chronic diarrhea that was severely impacted by the pressure of the Socratic Method? How awkward would that conversation be?

2. Do you plan on going back next fall?

I don't know. I will not know until classes start and I realize that I am either seated in the front row of a classroom being abused by somebody with the power to humiliate me/ruin my legal career or not.

3. Do you tell interviewers that you left law school?

Oh, yeah. Sometimes I even wear a tight, wet, white tee shirt that says "ABYSMAL FAILURE" on it, just to clear up any doubts.


During the interview process leading up to the job I recently started, I would explain that I took a leave of absence for "personal reasons", and interviewers generally left that alone. I think most were afraid to ask, just in case my reply was that I'd had severe genital warts or that my mom was eaten by a tiger. Most were just interested in the fact that I was going back (which I'm probably NOT going to do NOT EVER GOD HELP ME) and whether or not that would interfere with my ability to devote my life, my soul, and my first seven children to their company.

4. What are you going to do now that you've left law school?

I plan to raise goats. If you're thinking that I'm kidding, you're wrong. I currently have a great job at a nice company that pays well, and I hate it. Traffic on 495 was so terrible last night that I cried, screamed detailed and graphic death threats at other drivers, and grabbed a pan that was making an irritating rattling sound on the floor of the car and threw it at the window. That's not the person I want to be when I grow up; if I wanted to be that angry/desperately in need of a cranberry and vodka (hold the cranberry), I'd have stayed in law school. So for now, I plan to work, pay off my debts, and then move to Utah to raise goats.

5. This group is great! It's so great to find other people who have these same thoughts as me!

I can see why this would be comforting, but don't you sort of wonder why, if everybody is so damn miserable, people are still doing this? If I told you that you could work your ass off for four years to be rewarded by acceptance into Dante's new Tenth Circle of Hell, which consisted of three/four miserable, stressful, painful years of torture followed by a lifetime of being overworked and morally compromised, you'd tell me to do unkind things to my private places. But how is that really different from pursuing law school, except for the fact that in Hell, you know you're doomed, whereas in law school, you spend all of your time wondering, thinking, being certain that THIS TIME, SURELY I'M screwed.

6. I envy you. Sometimes I wish I could just pick up and leave.

And you can. There is no quota for the number of quitters permitted. But is it the right choice for you? My blog is called The Dirt Field because somebody once pointed out that the grass isn't always greener on the other side; sometimes you get there and it's just a dirt field. And that's really true - even now, I miss being a law student, miss knowing that I'm chipping away at the time until I've graduated, miss being friends with people who are paddling frantically in the same sinking ship. But I also don't spend a few hours a day in class with waterfalls of nervous sweat pouring off of my palms every time the professor consults the seating chart, and I also don't feel like I'm constantly stupid, slow, unprepared, and overburdened. And I've regained the ability to see people enjoying sunlight without screaming four letter words at them. It's your call.

11/23: A mere eight weeks after dropping out of law school, I finally got a job.

11/14: So I was at lunch today with my mother and I explained to her that I started this group about dropping out of law school and that the group had actually become rather large. She seemed slightly dismayed and countered that I should try to turn this around and use this group for something positive! and happy! and motivational! I laughed and laughed and then told her to imagine stabbing herself in the eye repeatedly with a rusty fork. I explained that THAT was how law school felt and that this group was a way for people to get together and share their feelings, much like alcoholics or heroin addicts share their vices. There's absolutely no way I'm going to start preaching to everyone about sticking with it and staying positive.

11/3: I'm amazed at how large this group has gotten. Clearly, the hatred of law school is spreading like syphilis. Invite your friends! Spread the misery!

10/19: I should probably take this time to admit that I did in fact drop out of law school. Okay, so I technically took a leave of absence for a year, but same diff, right?

9/20: Property was cancelled this morning, leading to a significant decrease in the number of 1Ls crying/vomiting/considering leaping off the roof of the building.

Financial Aid / Increase in COA- how much is possible?
« on: March 31, 2007, 05:31:27 PM »
I will def. need an increase in my estimated COA. None of it is for credit cards, other loans, clothes, etc. Miami gives you a living expense budget of around 11,000- that is really not even close to possible for 9 months in Miami. I have a dependent- a son, so I have to figure in dependant care expenses into that number as well and since I won't be having a roomate it's not like I will save with the $600 a month split. I also need a laptop which most schools give an estimate of 2K. Since I can actually work 2L and 3L years I won't need it an increase for the additional years- so it really is a one time increase. I feel awkward asking for 8-10K but thats how much I figure I would need additionally. 

Law School Admissions / UWisconsin- anyone still pending?
« on: March 22, 2007, 07:14:42 PM »
U Wisconsin and Rutgers-N are the only schools I am really waiting for- all the other one's I could care less about. What is taking Wisconsin so long? I was just wondering if most of their decisions have already went out already or if there are a lot of people out there still pending like lil' ol' me?

Choosing the Right Law School / Masters in Law
« on: March 11, 2007, 07:03:29 PM »
Does anyone actually go on and get their masters in law? Just wondering

General Off-Topic Board / Top 10 law firm Interview Questions
« on: February 28, 2007, 05:05:07 PM »
I got this from one of my facebook groups- the person who posted it on there got it from Craigslist. The group is called: Dear Law School: High School Called, They Want Their Drama Back.

One of the worst experiences in law school has been the ritual of submitting applications for summer employment and then going through a series of 20-minute screening interviews that would put a marine drill sergeant to shame when it comes to humiliating and dehumanizing you. Here are my top-ten (least) favorite questions, and how I actually answered them as opposed to how I would have liked to answer them.

1. Why are you interested in this firm?

What I said: Your firm handled (insert name of case I read on their website) which I found to be exciting because it was just like another case I was reading in this class I got an A in. I've also asked some (read: none) upper class-men about your office and they said it's a great work environment.

What I thought: I looked through your attorney roster and saw that you hire people who do not appear to have any honors and come from bad law schools. That made me think that I have a chance to work here.

2. Why did you go to law school?

What I said: I went to law school because I want to be able to make a difference. Legal work allows me to be competitive and to work for justice, both of which are important things in my life.

What I thought: That's a good question, and I ask myself it daily. I'd have to say the answer is, stupidity.

3. Do you think your grades are an accurate reflection of the kind of work you will do as an attorney?

What I said: Law school has been a challenge, and I think my grades reflect that. More important than my grades, which by the way have steadily improved over my academic career, is my dedication to the work I do. My performance during my summer jobs is the best indicator of how I will work, and you will find that my previous employers were all pleased with me (or at least forgot who I am and so will not remember the @#!* ups).

What I thought: My grades are absolutely a good reflection of how I will work. I will put in the minimum amount of effort needed to not get fired, and I will approach my job with contempt and disinterest.

4. What would you say is your greatest weakness?

What I said: My greatest weakness is that I get too personally involved with my work. For instance, when I am working on trial prep, and then the case settles favorably, I feel as though it should have gone to trial anyway, despite knowing that the settlement is what's best for our firm and our client.

What I thought: female private part. If there are any females in your office, you can be certain I will work twice as hard to get into their pants as I will to make my billables. And yes, since you require us to bill 1,900 hours, that means I will be sexually harassing my co-workers 3,800 hours a year.

5. Tell us about a recent mistake that you have made.

What I said: I accidentally misfiled a case at work that was set to go to trial the next week. As soon as I realized this, I alerted my supervisor and disaster was averted.

What I thought: An even bigger mistake I've made has been wasting 20 minutes of my life in this interview instead of taking a dump, that would have been much more satisfying and productive.

6. What do you do for fun?

What I said: I enjoy jogging, skydiving, and traveling to exotic countries.

What I thought: When I really want to have fun, I grab my "Big Butt Sluts # 24" DVD, a bottle of Bourbon, and a bottle of lube. By the end of the night, both bottles are empty, and my room smells like jizz and puke.

7. Tell us about your style of leadership.

What I said: I lead by taking the initiative and working proactively with my peers to come up with solutions.

What I thought: I lead by playing "The Eye of the Tiger" on a boombox while pounding my fist on the table and shouting insults. (It works, I've done it)

8. If you don't get hired by this firm, what will you do?

What I said: I will analyze what I could have done better during the interview and take that knowledge with me into my next interview with [rival firm name].

What I thought: I will breath a sigh of relief that I won't be working for an a-hole like you. Or I will stalk you and slit your throat. I haven't decided yet.

9. Do you have any questions for us?

What I said: Will I have a key so that I can come in and work on the weekends?

What I thought: Will I have a key so that I can come in and have sex with my girl friend on my desk on the weekends?

10. We value creativity among our associates. With that in mind, what kind of plant would you be, and why?

What I said: I would be a tree, because they are tall, strong, and live a long life.

What I thought: I would be a tree, so that I could fall on you and kill you

Choosing the Right Law School / For all you maybe UF'ers out there
« on: February 28, 2007, 03:19:21 PM »
Recently UF has been trying to get an increase in tuition- $500 a semester to cover new faculty expenses. The governor is not supporting it but if it does make it through legislation and pass this may break UF into the top 10 of colleg across the nation (US news ranking)... which would in turn help them boost their US news law ranking.

General Off-Topic Board / Movies-I want those ____ hours of my life back!
« on: February 20, 2007, 05:43:05 AM »
I saw Epic Movie yesterday and by the end of it I felt like I had wasted 2 hours of my life. I didn't want to see it so it made me think of other movies that I felt were so horrible I wanted those x amount of hours added back on to my life.
My movies:

Epic Movie
Little Man
Gigli (yeah, I know-- I was warned but curious)
That last star wars movie
Matrix 2 and 3
The Whole Flavor of Love season (It's not a movie but still...)
Employee of the Month and that other Jessica Simpson one....???cant think of the name.
Snakes on a Plane
You, Me,and Dupree

There are a lot more but these pretty recent so it's easier for me to remember. Most of the time I just block bad movies out of my head so my short list is actually a great accomplishment for me.

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