Law School Discussion

I'm going to try to make my question specific so I can get some helpful responses here.  Mean, cruel, or a-hole remarks are just going to be deleted, I just don't have the time.

Situation: Just graduated with my BA this past May.  My experience (professional) is in retail/clerical admin.  I have come to realize two things.  1. I live in a state with such a saturation of undergrad degrees that it has turned my BA into a High School Diploma and I know I am GOING TO NEED AN ADVANCED DEGREE.  2. I have NO problem, and I do have the ability, to move from this state to a better state. 

Here are my options:

Several opportunities/schools with ABA approved Paralegal Programs.
Cooley, Florida Coastal, Charlotte Law, Barry University Law, and Phoenix Law scholarship offers.
MBA Option (University of Phoenix)
MPA Option (University of Phoenix)

This is my REAL situation and what I honestly have to work with.  Given this information ... what degree would pay off fastest with the quickest rise in salary?  What degree will pay off more in the long run?  Where is the smartest place to spend my money given my educational options?  Where would be the worst place to spend my money given these options?  Any other thoughts and comments about this situation?  Please be PC ... I am open to ideas, thoughts etc. but I am posting here because I cannot get a good answer from advisers, etc. and I am hoping for a little help.  If you are just going to take shots, make fun of, or try to make me out to be a fool please save your time.  Everyone else, please fire away.

Thanks,

Thomas