« on: May 28, 2004, 02:05:45 PM »
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell
rectum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the
stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any"
'But I always buy it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist
"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at
it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the
container, "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against the
wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his
cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of
The owner exclaims, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of
The clerk responds, "Of course you can! Look at him. He's afraid to cough."
A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a neighborhood pub.
The place was hopping with music and dancing but every once in a while the
lights would turn off. Each time after the lights would go out the place
would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room
went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the rest-'
The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."
"Why not? " the nun asked.
"Well, there is a statue of a naked man in there, and his most private part
is covered only by a fig leaf."
"Nonsense, " said the nun, "I'll just look the other way."
So the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of the stairs, and she
proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the
whole place was hopping with music and dancing again. However, they did stop
just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they
applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us, " said the bartender, "would you like
a drink? "
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see, " laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf is lifted on the
statue, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink?"