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Topics - nesnut

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1
You guys are hilarious!

No, YOU'RE hilarious!   ;)

lol, I LOVE doing that- i also still do the whole "your mom last night" sh*t that was so freshman year of high school.  it makes me laugh, what can I say?

Dear Nesnut,

Where have you been all my life.  The "your mom" joke is a staple of my existance.  one of my best friends in college had lesbian moms, and she helped me reach a new plane of existance within your momness.

Please marry me, for real.

Love,
Ktja

Dear ktja,

I have been in so cal all your life, getting tanned and ranting at miscellaneous things while simultaneously attempting to bring the 80s into the modern world.  I <3 you, your amusing posts, and all that you represent in my life.  Lesbian bothers make mom jokes that much more sweet.

I think we should start a new thread dedicated to LSD Love Letters.  I also think that marriage proposals via LSD are romantic. 

love always,
Nesnut

The above represents an example of LSD Love Letters.  Please use this thread to send love to all those you hold dear to your internet hearts.

love,
Nesnut

2
Okay, get comfortable, it's time for Nesnut to rant  >:( 

Today's topic: Silent Hill the Movie and The Movie-Going Experience in General

So I went to see Silent Hill because I'm a complete fucktard who actually thought that maybe, MAYBE, just this one time, the "videogame knock-off" or "scary looking kids are evil because they all walk funny, wear dirty dresses and have dark eyes" genre may actually pull through to be entertaining.  I had just finished a delightful meal at Pie n' Burger (in Pasadena) and I thought, "Hmm, some fine cinema at my local cineplex with a friend would be dandy."  I was wrong.

First off, there are two types of movie theaters: indie/foreign theaters and everything else.  The indie/foreign flick theaters generally have a lot of wealthy hipsters with tight pants and a penchent for comparing everything in cinema to Andy Warhol, which makes no sense, but then again, neither do wealthy hipsters and tight pants.  The films are always better, the popcorn is always less buttery and there are always never high school kids in abercrombie pullovers on their bling-bling look at me cellphones standing in front of the theater attempting to look cool while waiting for mom to pull up and take them home.  The chances of me seeing somethign with Audrey Tatou in it skyrockets, thereby making me a happier movie-goer.  In short, I love me the Laemmle.

The second theater is your run-of-the-mill AMC/Krikorian/Edwards/Mann theater.  They are all dickshits (new word, please use it) and think that "student prices"
of $0.50 off a $9.00 ticket are suddenly a bargain. The popcorn is heartattack in a bucket, the red vines are stale and there is always at least 1 person of such extreme obesity that their efforts to order a diet coke with their hot dog, nachos, twizzlers and xtra large popcorn makes me giggle in ironic joy. These theaters are COVERED in highschool teeny-boppers, all of which now must have one of the following hairstyles:

Men- "messy but totally groomed"--"spikey"--"buzz cut"--"surfer cool"
Women- "pixie cut"--"oh my god this is TOTALLY how they wear it on the OC"--"traditional ponytail"--"oh my god this is TOTALLY how they wear it on Laguna Beach"

Needless to say, I hate these theaters, and generally stay the @#!* away from them if I can.  Not tonight, folks- tonight I made a bad choice.  Here are the details.

First off, this film draws the very dumb, the very smart, the very fat, the very irritating, the very young and the very horny ("dude, chicks dig scary movies- SCORE!") to it.  I, naturally, was surrounded by all of them, because Jesus hates me and thinks I deserve such punishment.  The previews haven't even begun yet and I'm already hating myself- but then the local advertisements come on the screen.  Ads for miltiary antique shops and Chinese restaurants dance across the screen, ending with 72,321 ads for the same realtor who wants to "make my dreams of home ownership a reality."  Really, lady, with that hair, you're only making fear and destruction a reality.  Stay the hell away from anything in my dreams (especially those involving Audrey Tatou).

And speaking of the fine French female, the first preview I see is for the DaVinci Code- my heart dances with Audrey and sinks with a feathered-haired Tom Hanks, who looks hella stupid (yes, that's right- hella).  Even in the previews he seems to have problems acting, as though he's still talking to that volleyball from "Castaway."  There's a preview for some stereotypical "black people all live in poverty and can only play sports or walk in a drumline" movie about a bunch of black guys who play street ball for money in the hopes of making it big and moving out of poverty.  It also has Wayne Brady in it, which made me just about piss myself in ironic humor.

Okay, previews are done, movie starts.  That'll be the next post.

3
General Off-Topic Board / Lost Samuel Beckett Play Found!!!!
« on: April 26, 2006, 10:32:37 PM »
HA!  Like I would post something real/important  :D

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/47722

4
General Off-Topic Board / THISISTHEOFFICIALPWN3DTHREAD!!!!
« on: April 20, 2006, 02:37:11 PM »
this thread will be used for the purposes of yelling at Bender.

It will also be used for some intense PWN3age action

5
Duck has requested that our totally kick-ass law firm have a theme song that we play every week.  We thought it would give all the musically inclined people on the Off-Topic Boards some fun to screw around with songs we all know and love/hate.

Here are the rules:

1. The firm will choose a particular 80s song, and we would ask that you, the LSD community, alter the song to fit a law-related/whatever the hell your imagination can come up with theme into it. 

2. I will take the best versions of the song and set up a poll to allow people to vote on which version they think is the best.  After a winner is selected, a new song will be posted, and the madness will begin again.

Here is this week's song: POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME, by Def Leppard

"Pour Some Sugar On Me"

Step inside, walk this way
You and me babe, Hey, hey!

Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man?
Razzle 'n' a dazzle 'n' a flash a little light
Television lover, baby, go all night
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss ah innocent sugar me, yeah

Hey!
C'mon, take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet yeah

Listen! red light, yellow light, green-a-light go!
Crazy little woman in a one man show
Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love
Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up

You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little
Tease a little more
Easy operator come a knockin' on my door
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough

I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet yeah

[guitar solo]

You got the peaches, I got the cream
Sweet to taste, saccharine
'Cos I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet
From my head, my head, to my feet

Do you take sugar? one lump or two?

Take a bottle, shake it up
Break the bubble, break it up

Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough
Pour some sugar on me
Oh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
Get it, come get it
Pour your sugar on me
Ooh
Pour some sugar on me
Yeah! Sugar me!

6
Denials / USC Ding
« on: April 15, 2006, 03:51:30 PM »
Letter dated April 13- Trojans say no to nesnut  >:(

7

Yeah my brother kept his Ninja Turtles toys in his room, I wasn't allowed to play with those  :( And my parents only bought me "girl toys."

I'm paying them back by not giving them grandchildren  :)

that's hilarious- you should totally send them christmas cards with your arm hanging in the air around where a kid should be, only instead of a child, you should have a picture of a ninja turtle or a gi joe

 :D :D
In this picture, I will also be eating pancakes

YES!  ktja, we should set up a law firm together- we'll have toys from the 80s all over the floor, and mandatory pancake breakfasts 3 times a week.

It'll be called KALF, A Professional Corporation. (KALF- Kick-Ass Law Firm).  Our business cards will have a foot kicking a donkey- it'll be great


YES!  ktja, we should set up a law firm together- we'll have toys from the 80s all over the floor, and mandatory pancake breakfasts 3 times a week.

It'll be called KALF, A Professional Corporation. (KALF- Kick-Ass Law Firm).  Our business cards will have a foot kicking a donkey- it'll be great

I love it

Forget public interest

Hopefully, we can get IHOP to be our primary client

i hear cliff has a nasty coke problem- we'll help him with his legal woes  ;)
[/quote]

And he will give us free pancakes on every day of the year, NOT just International Pancake Day

ATTENTION: The above post was the brainchild, the Genesis of what will be known as the totally Kick-Ass 80s Law Firm: The Law Offices of KTJA & Nesnut, A Professional Corporation.  Please look through our brochure (read the thread) and fill out the following application if you are interested.  Please note that 80s will reflect that entire decade through 1995.

Name:

Totally Bitchin' 80s Nickname:

Paralegal/Assistant (must be from the 80s):

What do you drive (better be radical):

What special 80s skills you will bring to the firm:

Upon completion, your application will be taken under review, and at that time, you will be given instructions, assignments, and told about all our awesome firm perks, including a slip and slide and mandatory saturday morning cartoon viewing.

By the way, we do have a religious affliation: Gaia, that black chick who sort of looked like Oprah Winfrey from "Captain Planet" who used to appear in the sky is the official deity of this law firm.  TGIF is now "Thank Gaia It's Friday".

8
General Off-Topic Board / Shutterbugs
« on: April 12, 2006, 10:57:25 PM »
http://azizisbored.com/shutterbugs1.html

this internet show is hilarious- it's about 2 child talent agents; I've only watched the first episode and I'm already laughing- I wish I had half the humor to come up with stupid stuff like this

9
Alright, I figured it was time for this thread.  Thus far, I think anything discussing Iraq, Iran, Islam, terrorism and the "war on terror" has led down the path of debate to this one topic.  We've hijacked countless threads, so let's just use this one- I'm aware that there is one in the Haterade, but nobody reads it, so this will stand as the official place to argue this topic.

Rules:

1.you must be willing to engage in real debate, no bull personal attacks against other posters.

2. Read the thread, no matter how long it is, BEFORE posting.

That is all- currently, the Iran thread has a debate on this topic going on. Move it here, folks

10
General Off-Topic Board / NOW they call them trailers!
« on: April 12, 2006, 01:38:34 PM »
Remember all those times I kept saying it was f-ing ridiculous that the Bush administration kept insisting on "mobile testing units" because that's just fancy talk for a Winnebago or Komfort?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12285521/

Thanks, "elite liberal media" for doing your job 3 YEARS LATE

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