Law School Discussion

Off-Topic Area => General Off-Topic Board => Topic started by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 12:23:32 PM

Title: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 12:23:32 PM
Okay, there are threads out there for Muslims, blacks, Asians, and probably other groups I have missed.  For a change of pace, how about a question-and-answer with the only group that's UNIVERSALLY disliked?  In the interest of fair disclosure, I must admit that I probabaly don't really qualify as "redneck" (at least not in the eyes of my rural relatives).  However, I have lived in Georgia all my life, own two guns, have a passing knowledge of NASCAR, and know what chewing tobacco tastes like.  By LSD standards, I'm the "Squeal like a pig, boy!" dude from "Deliverance".

So ask away, ya'll! 
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 12:30:37 PM
Is Jeff Foxworthy right?

You'll have to be more specific... but probably.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: redemption on May 18, 2006, 12:33:16 PM
Why own multiple handguns and rifles just 'cause you can?

Why do the "buckle-up" signs on the Georgia highways look like confederate flags?

Why is "southern pride" not creepy to y'all?

What's up with the strip malls everywhere?

Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 12:46:47 PM
Whats so interesting about NASCAR?

The actual answer is:  physics.  The aerodynamics get "interesting" when a vehicle exceeds 150 MPH... at racing speeds, air resistence becomes a serious factor.  An interesting phenomenon is that two cars racing in a line, bumper-to-bumper, form a more aeordynamically-efficient unit than a single vehicle traveling alone through open air.  This means that two or three drivers, working together, will beat a driver who's on his own... even if that driver has a superior car.

Aerodynamics is one factor, personal and professional relationships are the second.  It's important to realize that these drivers are all rednecks and hold grudges FOREVER.  Most of them dislike each other, and wait for an opportunity to repay each other for prior wrongs.  At the same time, most drivers work for "team" owners who employ multiple drivers... even though the drivers aren't supposed to cooperate together like a true "team", it's understood that there are consequences for screwing over the boss' other employees.

Put this all together, and you have weird drama.  Each week, people who hate each other find themselves in situations where they have to work together, and people who are supposed to be watching each other's backs end up screwing each other over.  It's alot like an episode of "Survivor".

Oh, and everybody loves a giant car wreck... let's be honest.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: dococ23 on May 18, 2006, 12:48:46 PM
Why has the rest of the country not tuned in on the glory that is SWEET TEA???
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 12:49:03 PM
how do you feel about midget wrestling?

Boring... I prefer watching the masked Mexican luchador guys. 

and do you have a mullet?  Would you like one?

I had one briefly in high school.  This was the late 80's, we didn't know any better at the time.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: redemption on May 18, 2006, 12:52:09 PM

Red - they serve different purposes, or b/c they're works of art.  b/c i can is also a good reason.
      does this mean there is no universal "buckle-up" sign on a highway in GA?
      b/c it's heritage.  i also don't consider my Scottish heritage to be creepy, even though my clan did some pretty vile things.
      a Wal Mart has to be everywhere, and that's what grows up around a WM.
             also - this is not just a Southern thing. 

Okay.

I'll think up some more.  :)
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Happy_Weasel on May 18, 2006, 12:53:07 PM
Do you have a 1974 Landcruiser rotting on your lawn?
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 12:54:44 PM
Why own multiple handguns and rifles just 'cause you can?

Why do you steal my thunder by providing the correct answers to you own questions?

Seriously though, it's so we can fight the government when the next revolution happens.


Why do the "buckle-up" signs on the Georgia highways look like confederate flags?

When was the last time you were in Georgia?  The only place I've ever seen this was on the "Smoky and the Bandit" DVD.


Why is "southern pride" not creepy to y'all?

Personally, I find ANY form of "<insert-your-demographic-here> pride" creepy... it's always symptomatic of fear and hate no matter which group is in question.  However, it stems from the insecurity that every group on earth has... that they are persecuted and at risk of seeing their culture decline if they don't guard and promote it strenuously.


What's up with the strip malls everywhere?

I've paid taxes as a Georgia resident all my life, but I'm pretty well-traveled through my career.  This is hardly a Southern phenomenon.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Happy_Weasel on May 18, 2006, 12:55:12 PM
I would consider Kentucky southern and Maryland northern, myself. Im from Florida. I know these things, too. My mom STILL makes sweet tea.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 12:56:13 PM
Do you talk about the Civil War at the dinner table much?

I have met some "history buffs" who are into that sort of thing, but they are the exception.  People who get into festivals and Civil War re-enactments are the redneck equivalent of Star Wars or Dungeons & Dragons geeks.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 12:57:10 PM
Why has the rest of the country not tuned in on the glory that is SWEET TEA???

Ironically, my father and I both prefer unsweet tea.  My wife brews iced tea that tastes like cough syrup to me.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 12:57:34 PM
have you ever sported a rat tail?

NO.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: dococ23 on May 18, 2006, 12:57:43 PM
Have you ever attended a cotillion or a debutante's ball
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 12:58:47 PM
Do you consider Maryland northern or southern?

Northern.


Do you consider Maryland northern or southern? What about Kentucky?

Hmm... I guess Mid-western.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 01:01:50 PM
Have you ever attended a cotillion or a debutante's ball

Is that like something from "Gone With the Wind", or is it a Jewish bar mitzvah type thing?  I suspect you have the right region, but wrong century.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Hybrid Vigor on May 18, 2006, 01:04:42 PM
Have you ever attended a cotillion or a debutante's ball


"Southerner" is different from "redneck". Southerners have cotillions and debutante balls. Rednecks don't.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: dococ23 on May 18, 2006, 01:05:27 PM
Have you ever attended a cotillion or a debutante's ball

Is that like something from "Gone With the Wind", or is it a Jewish bar mitzvah type thing?  I suspect you have the right region, but wrong century.


wrong - they're still in action where i grew up - went to both

I knew it! I watched a documentary on debutante balls recently ... fascinating.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: magnumalv on May 18, 2006, 01:06:19 PM
hot damn, how'd I miss this thread?  :D
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: dococ23 on May 18, 2006, 01:07:39 PM
Have you ever attended a cotillion or a debutante's ball


"Southerner" is different from "redneck". Southerners have cotillions and debutante balls. Rednecks don't.


this is true.

Ah ... sorry for the mistake. I guess it would be like comparing a Boston Brahmin scion to a Masshole.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: magnumalv on May 18, 2006, 01:09:56 PM
There are several varieties of a resident in the Southern US.

Southern =/= redneck =/= country =/= white trash (which, incidentally, is not geographically limited--think Eminem)

In the same vein, a Floridian Southerner =/= Georgian =/= Texan =/= Alabaman =/= Carolinian, etc. etc. etc.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: magnumalv on May 18, 2006, 01:12:27 PM
There are several varieties of a resident in the Southern US.

Southern =/= redneck =/= country =/= white trash (which, incidentally, is not geographically limited--think Eminem)

don't forget the mtn folk (whatever your term might be), and of course, you're leaving out other traditionally Southern residents.

Appalachian, you mean? yeah, they're different from Flatlanders as well. :)
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Alamo on May 18, 2006, 01:16:19 PM


Appalachian, you mean? yeah, they're different from Flatlanders as well. :)

yeah, that's what i meant.

That's where the term HILL-billy came from - to describe people of the Appalachians.

LITTLE KNOWN FACT: John Denver's song Country Roads was not written about West Virginia (even though the state adopted the song as its official anthem).  It was written about the western part of Virginia.  In the second line of the song, he references the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shenandoah River, both of which can be found within the Old Dominion, not the Mountaineer State.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 01:21:34 PM
have you ever had any sort of design shaved into your almost-buzzed hair?

When I was in high school, that was very popular among black students.  Never seen it on a white guy.  Contrary to what you see in movies, "Nazi" and "skinhead" stuff really isn't around in the South.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 01:34:00 PM
Are you an Evangelical Christian?  Ever spoken in tongues or handled snakes? (in a religious context)

I'm a practicing Quaker from an unprogrammed meeting (use Wikipedia, I'm too lazy to explain it all).  In some ways it's closer to evangelical or charismatic Protestantism than it is to very-heirarchial denominations like the Roman Catholics or Episcopals.  However, from the perspective you're probably thinking of, it's really night and day (acceptance of gays, equality of women, opposition to all war, historical background in abolition and the Underground Railroad, etc).
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: magnumalv on May 18, 2006, 01:36:57 PM


Appalachian, you mean? yeah, they're different from Flatlanders as well. :)

yeah, that's what i meant.

That's where the term HILL-billy came from - to describe people of the Appalachians.


yup!

*plays banjo theme from Deliverance*
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Alamo on May 18, 2006, 01:39:53 PM


Appalachian, you mean? yeah, they're different from Flatlanders as well. :)

yeah, that's what i meant.

That's where the term HILL-billy came from - to describe people of the Appalachians.


yup!

*plays banjo theme from Deliverance*

*echoes your banjo theme on guitar*
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: magnumalv on May 18, 2006, 01:43:45 PM


Appalachian, you mean? yeah, they're different from Flatlanders as well. :)

yeah, that's what i meant.

That's where the term HILL-billy came from - to describe people of the Appalachians.


yup!

*plays banjo theme from Deliverance*

*echoes your banjo theme on guitar*

*keeps rhythym with a washboard and spoons*
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Happy_Weasel on May 18, 2006, 02:33:04 PM
Is Clearwater/Tampa/Plant City considered Northern or Southern Florida?
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 02:35:35 PM
Is Clearwater/Tampa/Plant City considered Northern or Southern Florida?

Irrelavent... Florida itself is not regarded as "Southern".  It's just Cuban/Carribean refugees and Yankee retirees, all too stupid to punch a ballot.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Happy_Weasel on May 18, 2006, 02:37:12 PM
Its becoming more Southern. Then again, 2004 may have been a fluke.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Achilles on May 18, 2006, 02:39:32 PM
What is the ideal Catfish bait for jug fishing ?
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: southerncowboy on May 18, 2006, 02:48:20 PM
Finally, a thread I can relate to.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Alamo on May 18, 2006, 02:52:02 PM
What is the ideal Catfish bait for jug fishing ?

I usually go with chicken livers - put 'em on a treble hook so they hold up better.  Night crawlers work pretty good too. 
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: magnumalv on May 18, 2006, 02:54:35 PM
Chicken livers bc they aren't squirmy.

Some people also use corn. But that's usually at those catfish breeding ponds where the fish will eat just about anything, including leather boots and pull-tabs.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: southerncowboy on May 18, 2006, 02:55:47 PM
Chicken livers bc they aren't squirmy.

Some people also use corn. But that's usually at those catfish breeding ponds where the fish will eat just about anything, including leather boots and pull-tabs.
I would feel guilty fishing at a fish farm.  it's like shooting fish in a barrel it takes the fun out of it.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Achilles on May 18, 2006, 02:56:50 PM
Chicken livers ? thanks guys !!
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 03:05:43 PM
What is the ideal Catfish bait for jug fishing ?

Fresh-cut beef kidneys or turkey livers (you don't think supermarkets sell that sh*t for HUMAN consumption do you?).
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: Happy_Weasel on May 18, 2006, 04:24:05 PM
Yeah, but my favorite camping spots north of Florida- Crsytal River, Rainbow River and Juniper Springs in Ocala Natl Forest are. Those places are very hillbillish, though I was more conservative on guns than some of the NRA guys that came to Sandhill, when I was a scout.
Title: Re: Ask a Redneck
Post by: AtlantaSteve on May 18, 2006, 06:52:56 PM
would you buy a red or yellow mini cooper if it were the last car on the planet?  would you tell your friends?

Sure.  With a car that small, I could put it up on concrete blocks in my yard without having to use a jack!