Law School Discussion

Deciding Where to Go => Acceptances, Denials, and Waitlists => Topic started by: john83 on December 09, 2005, 08:03:11 AM

Title: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on December 09, 2005, 08:03:11 AM
the post by revelareveritas got me thinking... if you were writing a reject letter to be sent en masse to all the poor souls denied admission... how would you write it?

just curious. please post.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Hedley Lamarr on December 09, 2005, 08:27:27 AM
Dear ---,
Why did you even apply to our school?  You obviously are not qualified, thank you for wasting my time.
Sincerely
Dean -----



That is probably what they want to say.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: ACK! on December 09, 2005, 09:22:44 AM
Great Law School
1 Law School Road
Beutiful City, USA

April 1, 2005


Dear --,

I really wanted to admit you.  Honestly.  I could just tell by looking a your application that your LSAT isn't representative of your abilities, you didn't even need to include your brilliantly-worded addendum.  And, let's face it, who doesn't party for their first three years of coolege? It's perfectly normal.  That 3.7 you pulled in your final year is all that I really looked at.  Unfortunately, the evil people at US NEws have us trapped by numbers, and when we pugged your stats into our computers, it dropped our ranking by 10 spots.  Thus, this is the hardest letter I'll have to write this year, but admitting you would cost this school millions.  Nevertheless, I fought for you all the way to the Provost.  I almost got fired!  But that's how much I believed in you.  In fact, I am so confindant that you'll have a great career that I included my home phone and AIM name at the bottom, sothat when you get rich and famous, I can tell people I was your friend. 

Make me proud,

Dean ---

P.S. Please, please apply for transfer admission next year! Those numbers don't count against our rankings!  I might even be able to let you start your second year as a 1L, so you can ace all of your classes and make Law Review.  That would be sweet.

Phone: (555) 867-5309
AIM: koolawguy

I love it! ;D
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Hedley Lamarr on December 09, 2005, 09:23:37 AM
Great Law School
1 Law School Road
Beutiful City, USA

April 1, 2005


Dear --,

I really wanted to admit you.  Honestly.  I could just tell by looking a your application that your LSAT isn't representative of your abilities, you didn't even need to include your brilliantly-worded addendum.  And, let's face it, who doesn't party for their first three years of coolege? It's perfectly normal.  That 3.7 you pulled in your final year is all that I really looked at.  Unfortunately, the evil people at US NEws have us trapped by numbers, and when we pugged your stats into our computers, it dropped our ranking by 10 spots.  Thus, this is the hardest letter I'll have to write this year, but admitting you would cost this school millions.  Nevertheless, I fought for you all the way to the Provost.  I almost got fired!  But that's how much I believed in you.  In fact, I am so confindant that you'll have a great career that I included my home phone and AIM name at the bottom, sothat when you get rich and famous, I can tell people I was your friend. 

Make me proud,

Dean ---

P.S. Please, please apply for transfer admission next year! Those numbers don't count against our rankings!  I might even be able to let you start your second year as a 1L, so you can ace all of your classes and make Law Review.  That would be sweet.

Phone: (555) 867-5309
AIM: koolawguy

That is a lot nicer than mine
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Steve Butabi on December 09, 2005, 09:49:54 AM
Dear _______,


Nice try, dickhead.

Love,
Dean Jones
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on December 09, 2005, 09:59:19 AM
Dear [insert applicant name here],

A junior staff member has personally reviewed your application for admission into [Law School Name]. To be quite honest, he's the one that wrote this letter, and I've given him permission to sign my name to it.

Unforunately, we cannot offer you admission at this time, nor any time, nor to your children. That being said, even if we had 500 seats to fill and only 50 applicants, we still would not have selected you for admission.

Thanks for your application fee, and for needlessly wasting precious natural resources in sending your application.

Cordially,

[Dean's name]
Director of Admissions

P.S. Please kindly use the preaddressed envelope to mail $.39 to cover the cost of postage for this letter by December 31st.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: qwertyytrewq on December 09, 2005, 01:56:13 PM
I have two...here's the first...i think this one is cornier.

Dear [Applicant Name],

Thank you for applying.  We are unable to offer you admission. 

However, we just saved a bunch of money on car insurance.

Adverbingly,

Dean
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: qwertyytrewq on December 09, 2005, 01:59:16 PM
Dear [Applicant Name],

Thank you for applying.  Unfortunately, due to factors entirely in your control, we are unable to offer you admission.

While aware that you already have a Bachelor's degree, we have taken the liberty of forwarding your application to our Undergraduate Institution for review.

Good luck in your undergraduate studies.

Happily,

The Dean
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: forbzik on December 09, 2005, 02:01:04 PM
Dear [Applicant Name]

On behalf of [School Name], we would like to thank you for your generous donation of $[Application Fee].  We will begin accepting donations again beginning September 15, 2006 and anxiously await your next contribution. 

Respectfully,

[Dean Name]
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Slow Blues on December 09, 2005, 02:06:17 PM
Dear [Applicant Name]

All your application fee are belong to us.

You have no chance to survive make your time.

Best,

[Dean Name]


I wonder if anyone will get that.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: jhare on December 09, 2005, 02:14:50 PM
Dear Applicant,

We don't really know how to say this, so we're just going to say it. Right now we can't see things working out between us. It's not you - you're so great - it's just that we need to take some time to figure out who we are as a law school, and we don't think that we can do that with you around.

You are such a special person, and you deserve a law school that appreciates how great you really are. We never wanted to hurt you.

Let's stay friends, OK?

Law School
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: firant on December 09, 2005, 02:58:06 PM
Dear Sir, Madam, or possibly mutant Goat.

     We here at [Law School] think you'd have made a great student. If, that is, you had been someone entirely different, and or, possibly not a goat. Toward that end, we have included three pills.
        * Pill number one contains a highly concentrated amount of hallucinogen. This pill will allow you to radically alter your personality by giving you visions of your chosen God, and or a giant mutant goat, after which point we will gladly accept you into [Law School].
        * Pill number two is identical to pill number one in appearance. It contains a high-effective intelligence inducing hormone. Consuming this pill will also turn you into a viable candidate for admission to [law school].
        * Pill number three contains a significant dosage of cyanide, and will lead to nearly immediate death. It is identical in appearance to pills number one and two. If you really want to go to [law school] you will risk getting pill number three.

Thank you,
Dean Crazy-go-nuts.

P.S. - Mutant goats are never welcome at [law school].

----

At least it would be amusing... of course, they'd really be sugar pills.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: rider06 on December 09, 2005, 08:48:22 PM
Quote
Dear Dumbass,

Are you serious?  HAHAHHAHHAHAAH

Love,

Dean XXX


P.S. Good luck with Cooley,
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: 2Lacoste on December 10, 2005, 01:51:55 AM
Dear Lacoste19,

Although it is evident from your extracurricular resume that you are a passionate and active young man committed to a life in the public service, your application f-ing sucked.  We took it as an indication of the half-ass work you would likely produce here at X Law School.  Thus, we cannot offer you a seat in our 2006-2007 class.

Get your act together and try again you lazy bastard full of potential.

Cordially,
Dean X
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: moping on December 10, 2005, 02:55:05 PM
Dear Applicant,

Get therapy.

Sincerely,

Dean xxxxxxx
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: unionyes on December 27, 2005, 02:06:39 PM
Dear Applicant,

We regret to inform you that your 166 on the LSAT has precluded us from offering you admission this year to xxx College of Law.  While you are clearly a qualified and capable candidate, we here at xx College of Law have made a commitment to only accepting candidates with the scores 161, 163, and 165.  Your score is not only not at 161, 163 or 165-- it's also an even number.  Obviously, like many other nationally ranked schools, we can't accept candidates with even numbered LSAT scores.  We recommend you retake.   
   
Sincerely,

Dean xx   


 

 
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Godling on December 27, 2005, 04:52:09 PM
Dear Applicant,

While we can not accept you into our school we can buy you a small island off of Aruba and put the deed in your name with the proceeds of our privatized educational institute.  We also hear you are great in bed.

Sincerely,
X

I still like Vapid Unicorn's best, but the All Your Base reference warmed my heart.

If I was a prick I'd send out this.

Dear Applicant,

(http://img.kukaionline.com/b/src/1135731425467.jpg)

Ass.
Sincerely,
X
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: nukelaw on December 27, 2005, 08:59:21 PM
Dear Applicant,

We don't really know how to say this, so we're just going to say it. Right now we can't see things working out between us. It's not you - you're so great - it's just that we need to take some time to figure out who we are as a law school, and we don't think that we can do that with you around.

You are such a special person, and you deserve a law school that appreciates how great you really are. We never wanted to hurt you.

Let's stay friends, OK?

Law School

Sounds like some of my deferrals...
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: nukelaw on December 27, 2005, 09:03:51 PM
Dear Applicant #224561:

Due to negative feedback in pervious years' admissions cycles to our form letters, we've outsourced your rejection to Hallmark. Enjoy.

"Cover: LIFE...so fragile. LOSS... so sudden. HEART...so broken.

Inside: In the wake of such a loss, we're haunted by things we don't - and may never - understand. Yet the solace we seek may not come from answers. So we look for comfort in the belief of love's everlasting connection. May that love lift you, hold you close, and give you peace." :'(
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Applicant1693 on December 27, 2005, 11:35:29 PM
Dear __________

Tough s#it, hon, you didn't quite hack it this time. Maybe if you'd, y'know, been a worthwhile human being or been able to enhance our endowment (heh...enhancing my endowment took surgery) we could've hooked you up.  As it is, have fun wherever you wind up. 

Don't call us, we'll call you.

Dean _________________
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: lightessenz on December 30, 2005, 06:33:56 AM
Just a drawing of a thumbs down. 
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: nukelaw on December 30, 2005, 07:08:39 AM
(http://www.choiceshirts.com/images/PL/-0/PL-00129A-md.jpg)
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Kittyl30 on January 06, 2006, 09:25:33 AM
dear dumbass,

you are a loser. unfortunatly, there were lots of people that applied that were better than you...but just think ..you juts saved 150 grand! we did ya a favor!

sincerely,
Dean of admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: redemption on January 06, 2006, 10:46:02 AM

Dear Hopeful,

The fact that you applied to our Law School shows that you lack the judgement required for admittance.

In a rare unanimous decision, the Committe, having carefully reviewed your file, has decided that the utter naivete exemplified in your personal statement, your anemic numbers, your banal work history and your pathetic and belated attempts to demonstrate some commitment to voluntary service and extracurricular activities far outweigh the moderately positive impressions that your letters of recommendation may have painted.

Frankly, we don't believe that the recommenders were altogether honest in their descriptions of your suitability to study law at our School, and we are contemplating pursuing legal action against them.

Nevertheless, the Committee has, by a narrow majority, vote to wish you "Good Luck" with your applications to study law elsewhere. May we suggest Northwestern?

Regards,
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: SWM on January 06, 2006, 11:33:22 AM
Dear applicant,

Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: thescreed on January 07, 2006, 12:41:19 AM
Dear Applicant,

Any normal person looking at your resume, recent grades, and LSAT would agree that you are a no-brainer admit at virtually every law school in the nation. However, we are slaves to USNWR and we can't dismiss your grades from ages ago because the magazine won't.

There are no second acts in American life. Go @#!* yourself.

Sincerely
Decent Law School
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: gameswizard on January 07, 2006, 08:03:55 AM
Dear Applicant,

While reviewing your application you mentioned a history of being abused as a child.  Obviously this abuse has not taught you anything because you are still a jackass trying to apply to our law school with that pathetic attempt of an LSAT.  I would enjoy nothing more than beating you myself.  In addition, we have researched and been informed that you have been accepted into Yale in order to study Economics, and been given some nice job offers.  We have taken the liberty to contact these institutions on your behalf and let them know what a moron you are.  After all how business savvy or economical is wasting $700 dollars on applications. We hope that you die a slow miserable death for insulting our university’s time, and prestige.  Feel free to apply again next cycle, we could use the money to train real students

Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: redemption on January 07, 2006, 08:14:50 AM
Dear Applicant,

While reviewing your application you mentioned a history of being abused as a child.  Obviously this abuse has not taught you anything because you are still a jackass trying to apply to our law school with that pathetic attempt of an LSAT.  I would enjoy nothing more than beating you myself.  In addition, we have researched and been informed that you have been accepted into Yale in order to study Economics, and been given some nice job offers.  We have taken the liberty to contact these institutions on your behalf and let them know what a moron you are.  After all how business savvy or economical is wasting $700 dollars on applications. We hope that you die a slow miserable death for insulting our university’s time, and prestige.  Feel free to apply again next cycle, we could use the money to train real students



Ouch
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Tulane1L on January 07, 2006, 09:31:12 PM
Dear applicant,

After reviewing your application, we have deteremined that you must have been delusional when deciding to apply to our institution.  However, we at X School of Law have a very firm policy on tolerance to all disabilities, including mental illness.  Therefore we have enlclosed a list of psychiatrists in your area in hopes that you will decide to seek treatment for your (apparently vivid) delusions.  We suggest you seek professional help immediatly.

Sincerly,

The Admissions Committee
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: jorge on January 11, 2006, 10:32:25 AM
Dear [applicant],
On seven prior occasions we have denied your admission in writing. We now deny it for the eighth time. You must be stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sincerely,
Great Benefit Law School
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Slow Blues on January 12, 2006, 12:52:22 PM
Dear [Applicant],

Alas, poor [Applicant]! I knew him, Horatio, fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.

Sincerely,

Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on January 12, 2006, 01:13:54 PM
[Your name here],

Pass.

Sincerely,

The Admissions Committee
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: pass36 on January 12, 2006, 06:35:32 PM
Dear Applicant

Cut the horseshit son, I've got your disciplinary files right here.  Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.  The time has come for someone to put his foot down.  And that foot is me.  You're outta here like *&^% through a goose.


Dean Wormer
Faber College of Law

Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: plato2006 on January 12, 2006, 09:43:43 PM
Dear Applicant,

Your file is one of the most insanely idiotic things we have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent responses were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on the admissions committee is now dumber for having read about you. We award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Yours with still a bitter after-taste,
Dean Swan
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: kree on January 12, 2006, 10:00:57 PM
Dear Applicant,

Your file is one of the most insanely idiotic things we have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent responses were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on the admissions committee is now dumber for having read about you. We award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Yours with still a bitter after-taste,
Dean Swan


hahaha love that movie
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Outofcollege on January 14, 2006, 10:34:33 AM
Dear Applicant,

After carefully reviewing your very impressive application, we have decided to not offer you a seat in our incoming law class. Thank you for your time. Harvard Law appreciates your deep, committed interest in Yale.

T.Stock
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: *shell* on January 14, 2006, 10:38:12 AM
Dear "Applicant"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA!  nice joke kid

Sincerely,
the entire admissions committee, as well as our friends, family, neighbors, and everyone else who laughed at your application.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 17, 2006, 06:17:52 PM
Dear Applicant,

 This is another admission notification brought to you in part by (insert college of law).
The admissions committee does not give a phuck about what you think and if you don't like it, you can suck my phucking cock. Little did you know, upon applying and having your application killed by (this IS a DENIAL letter if you can't take a hint) our prestigous college of law, you have just kissed our collective ass. I am personally fed up with your s**t and I'm going to kill you.

XOXO
Dean Shady

...or this could work...


Dear Applicant.
   
      Thanks, but no thanks.
 
                      Dean John Doe                             
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: JPhilmore on January 19, 2006, 08:16:44 AM
If you are going to be a male private part, you don't just insult the person.  I would take this tact:

Dear [name],

As you are fully aware, [name of school] seeks applicants of only the highest caliber to fill the ranks of our student body.  After fully reviewing your application for admission, the admissions committee has decided you would make a valuable contribution to our community, and we are delighted to offer you a place in the class of 2009.  Just kidding.

Sincerely,

Dean [name]
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: firant on January 21, 2006, 08:13:36 AM
Dear [name],

    We here at [school] have determined you're not good enough for us. We have been told that some students we reject go on to have very nice little careers after graduating somwhere else. Have no fear, we are taking steps to correct that error.

-The mgmt.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: chidochido on January 21, 2006, 09:50:25 AM
Hello,

Were you trying to be funny? Seriously, come on...We just write you to say thanks for the 70 bucks. We all got chinese for lunch with your check - the won tons were scrumptious.

Cheers,

T. Stock
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: redemption on January 21, 2006, 07:19:42 PM
ps.  we are returning your sase because we were afraid that you had actually licked the stamps.

 ;D
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 21, 2006, 09:05:24 PM
An email (in AOL VOICE)

Dear applicant,

              You got REJECTED
                             
                         The dean
Dar applicant,

         I'm sorry your lsat was 2 points too low and your GPA was .05 points too low.

Your LOR was pretty solid, but your PS put us to sleep. Your addendum made you look

like a 8itch. I'm sorry, you are the weakest link. Good-bye.

                                                                :P
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: SkullTatt on January 21, 2006, 11:51:50 PM
USER--

THE DATABASE HAS REPORTED YOU ARE REJECTED FOR LAW SCHOOL AT BONKERS UNIVERSITY LAW SCHOOL. PLEASE RETAIN THE BELOW TRANSMISSION NUMBER AS YOUR RECEIPT FOR TAX PURPOSES.

DATABASE TEAM

TRANSMISSION 4537388ABTHHR4300302222HTURJE KFSKIWORIE839200393293-A
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Beatnik on January 22, 2006, 11:08:20 AM
Just to scare us all a bit:


Dear Applicant,

   We were very impressed with your application as a whole.  Your LSAT score and undergraduate GPA were commendable; your personal statement was insightful, displaying exceptional depth and maturity; and your recommenders were convincing in their portrayal of you as a most unusual candidate, in whom the intellectual breadth of Bertrand Russell combines with the humanitarian values of Mother Teresa.

   As is our custom, we have cross-referenced your profiles on LSN and LSD.  Unfortunately, due to your significant and growing habit of contributing useless posts on these sites, we regret that we must deny you admission.  We are certain that we correctly matched you to your online identity, as you are the only one-armed applicant this year who is partnering with Peruvian NGOs to develop the internet market for alpaca wool.

   Enclosed is an list of addiction counseling centers in your area.  Please seek help.

Best,
Dean Smiley
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Mr Shears on January 22, 2006, 11:42:28 AM
The next day and I'm still laughing about "All your application fee are belong to us".  That was simply brilliant.  Mine would be:

Dear [Applicant]:

     After thoroughly reviewing your application, we have decided that your GPA and LSAT score fall nicely into our range.  We greatly enjoyed your personal statement and eloquent addendum.  Overall, your application was perfect for our school.

     However, after personally doing an extensive background check, I concluded that your mother is, in fact, NOT the girl that I was dumped by in high school and have been trying to reconcile with/stalk for several decades now. 

     Due to this glaring error on your part, you serve no purpose in coming to this institution.  Perhaps your mother broke some other obsessed dean's heart.

Sincerely,

Dean ___________
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on January 22, 2006, 12:01:31 PM
Dear Applicant,

HELL no.


Sincerely,

Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 22, 2006, 12:43:47 PM
Dear applicant,
 
         Call me again and I will call the police.

                                                                    :P,
                                                                    Dean Your Mom Is Hot


Dear applicant,
               
         I see you have had an abortion in your freshman year. DENIED!
           
                                                                            XOXO,
                                                                            Dean Ashcroft

Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Mr Shears on January 22, 2006, 04:23:26 PM
Dear [Applicant]:

     When you were concieved, abortion was legal.  We are still trying to fathom why your mother did not elect to have one.  Instead, she chose to burden the planet with a worthless dullard.  Next time you see her, please ask her why for us.

     Thank you.

Sincerely,

Dean Fattypants
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 22, 2006, 04:48:28 PM
Dear applicant,

          Us is to you as  :P is to  :'(
 
                                                                         :-*
                                                                      Dean Moldybutt
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Mr Shears on January 23, 2006, 08:13:06 AM
I'm STILL laughing at the "all your application fee are belong to us" letter.

Genius.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: likewise on January 23, 2006, 08:16:03 AM
Dear Applicant,

Fah-Q.

Sincerely,

Dean Anonymous
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: HK on January 23, 2006, 08:43:05 AM
Dear [Applicant Name]

All your application fee are belong to us.

You have no chance to survive make your time.

Best,

[Dean Name]


I wonder if anyone will get that.

"All your application fee are belong to us."

I think this is supposed to be like "allyourbasearebelongtous" a warcraft 3 cheat to get to the next level.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 23, 2006, 09:29:40 AM
Yeah, poorly translated Zero Wing.


Dear applicant,
 
       Allyourfacearebelongtous. HAHAHA!
       
                                                                         :-*
                                                                        Dean CATS
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: The Poster on January 23, 2006, 09:49:56 AM
Dear Applicant,

Due to your extreme posting on LSD, you are hereby DENIED admission at our school. We do not want your kind among us.

xoxohth
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: notdowny on January 23, 2006, 10:07:10 AM
DING, fagg!
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: SkullTatt on January 23, 2006, 10:28:00 AM
As is our custom, we have cross-referenced your profiles on LSN and LSD.

Heheh... I wish I had thought of that one !! Priceless.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 23, 2006, 05:18:02 PM
Dear Liberal Queer,

Denied you baby-eating nazi!
                                                                     See you in Hell
                                                                  Ave Maria/Liberty/Regent
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: jorge on January 24, 2006, 12:22:34 PM
Dear applicant,
               
         I see you have had an abortion in your freshman year. DENIED!
           
                                                                            XOXO,
                                                                            Dean Ashcroft

Don't you mean Dean Starr?  ;)
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: SkullTatt on January 24, 2006, 01:48:36 PM
Applicant--

We received your personal statement (along with your application) telling us how badly you would like to attend Cornell Law School. As you know, we are Case Western Reserve University Law School. By a twist of fate, the Dean of Admissions at Cornell Law School contacted our office and said he had received a personal statement from you stating that Case Western was your first choice!

After a phone consultation, we agreed that your statement constituted a binding preference to attend Case Western above all other law schools in 2006. And needless to say, we are delighted to have your 3.8 GPA and a 176 LSAT, so we have made a special exception to our usual policy and admitted you through our Binding Early Admission program, even though, unfortunately, this makes you ineligible for financial aid.

We have begun contacting other law schools to let them know of your happy decision to attend Case Western, and it will be our pleasure to see you in the Fall!

Dean Star Jones
Case Western
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: The Poster on January 24, 2006, 02:32:14 PM
180, iago.  ;D
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: *shell* on January 24, 2006, 02:39:17 PM
seconded

180, iago.  ;D
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: TheGunner on January 24, 2006, 02:53:14 PM
Dear TheGunner:

We have reviewed your application for admission to the Juris Doctorate program at T14 Schoool of Law.  The application pool for the J.D. program this year has been highly competitive as we have received 201 applications for only 200 seats.  At this time, we have decided to place you on the waitlist for matriculation in the class of 2009.  Further, we would like you to supplement your current application by providing us with a letter of continued interest in our program which should contain the credited response to the following query -

Four regiments—A, B, C, and D—are positioned to defend the areas to the north, south, east, and west of a city, respectively. At their general's command, exactly two of the regiments will join forces to form one large regiment, in accordance with the following conditions:

No regiment will be commanded to join forces with any other regiment more than once.
No regiment will defend two areas simultaneously.If Regiment A joins forces with Regiments B or C, the resulting regiment will defend the west.
If Regiment B joins forces with Regiment D, the resulting regiment will defend the south.
If Regiment C joins forces with Regiments B or D, the resulting regiment will defend the north.
If Regiment D joins forces with Regiment A, the resulting regiment will defend the east.
If the only areas defended are the south and east, then which one of the following pairs of regiments must have joined forces?

(A) A and B   
(B) B and D   
(C) C and D   
(D) A and D   
(E) B and C

We look forward to hearing from you shortly and wish you the best of luck in your application process.

Warmest Regards,

Dean Y. A. Lettucecrisper
Associate Dean for Admission and Rank Preservation
T14 School of Law
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: SkullTatt on January 24, 2006, 03:01:38 PM
I JUST did this one like yesterday !!! How random.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: SkullTatt on January 24, 2006, 03:23:54 PM
That is scary. Either you know the movie well enough, or you know all the logic games well enough that just a glimpse of one provides total recall of it. Either way, frightening... I need you to come with me to the Feb. 4 LSAT...
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 25, 2006, 11:16:12 AM
Dear applicant,

 You think a guy like you has a chance with a law school

like me? Pulzeee I'm like totally out of your league!
                                                                                     
                                                                                   :-*

                                                                           Dean Becky


Btw, Case Western Reserve is still very good, btw.

                                         
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Mr Shears on January 25, 2006, 07:18:36 PM
Dear [Applicant]:

              _   
             / \
             | |
             | |
          --| |-- --
        /|  | |  |  |
        ||            |
        \             /
         |           |


Sincerely,

Dean Realist
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Manwithaplan on January 25, 2006, 07:22:32 PM
GAME OVER.

b*tch.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Manwithaplan on January 25, 2006, 09:17:59 PM
Dear [applicant],
On seven prior occasions we have denied your admission in writing. We now deny it for the eighth time. You must be stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sincerely,
Great Benefit Law School

viva la grisham
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: M. Dunson on January 25, 2006, 09:34:44 PM
Dear M. Dunson,

Every year Princeton Law School receives tens of thousands of extremely well-qualified applicants.  Unfortunately, we cannot extend offers of admission to all of them.  Although your application shows promise academically, the admissions committee could not figure out who you were as a person.  We suggest therapy, you might want to see someone about that soon.

We are confident that you will taste sweet glory around mailtime sometime soon and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Theodore "Chip" Hoffbauer, IV 
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on January 25, 2006, 09:54:14 PM
Dear [Applicant],

TTT.

HTH.


Sincerely,

Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: ImNobody on January 27, 2006, 09:14:07 AM
Dear ******************,

Each year, we recieve many brilliant and qualified applicants at _____________ School of Law. Unfortunately, you are not one of these lucky individuals, and it is unlikely that you ever will be.
We considered offering you admission as part of our annual "Village Idiot Inclusion Program," wherein we accept 1 extraordinarily unqualified person to order to improve the mental health and self-esteem of the rest of the incoming class. However, your compelling personal statement so convinced the admissions committee of your overwhelming concern for those less fortunate than you that we have decided to use your application fee to fund the scholarship of other, more interesting, candidates.
As penance for the valuable time you have wasted in sending your extensive application, and submitting the admissions committee to your painfully dull personal statement, we will be billing you for 1 year's tuition. Your application has been summarily burned. Thank you for your donation, and don't bother trying to transfer.

Affectionately yours,

Dean ____________

 
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: LonghornDUG on January 27, 2006, 11:53:35 AM
Dear Applicant,

We have placed you on the waitlist.

Regards,
John Doe
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: SkullTatt on January 27, 2006, 12:21:06 PM
Dear Applicant--

After carefully considering your qualifications, you have been placed on our Deferred Waitlist. This is a group of candidates about whose qualifications we remain uncertain, and therefore cannot offer a space on our Preferred Waitlist or our Regular Waitlist. At such time as we have enough candidates on our other two waitlists, we will begin making decisions on whether Deferred Waitlist candidates such as yourself may join one of the two waitlists from which we typically draw candidates should space become available.

If you wish to be considered for acceptance from the Deferred Waiting List to the Regular Waitlist, it is advised that you show up on campus two weeks before the start of Fall semester. At this time you may be offered a spot (competitively awarded based on essay) in our Radioactive Lab Animal Waste Cleanup Program. This is one way that Deferred Waitlist candidates often indicate to the school that they are very interested in achieving Regular Waitlist status.

Regards,

Carol Bronnet
Assistant to the Administrative Assistant to the Associate Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 27, 2006, 04:22:49 PM
Dear Liberal Queer Applicant,



I hate to say this, but there will come a time later, probably the immediate moment that you pass on and die, that your mind will become clear, your eyes opened and you will realize that you were wrong, that there is a God, and he is George W. Bush your Lord and Savior and he had tried to reach you through his ministry and through other Republicans but you refused him, you denied him and ignored his existence.George W. Bush said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father, but through me." If you ignore these teaching and this Truth, I am sorry to say, you will not be saved, and unfortuantely you will not arrive in heaven. He died on the cross for your sins, so that you can have paradise if you except that he is the son of God. Believe me, if you read these words and words from others and continue down the path you are leading, I'm sorry, but one day after you die, and in Hell, you will realize He was the Son of God and you will beg for forgiveness, but it will be too late. I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you to remember these words and realize that if you don't accept Bush, you will remember and regret it.
May George W. Bush guide you and have mercy on your soul, now and forever


                                                                            :-*
                                                    BYU/Regent/Ave Maria/Notre Dame/ U Miss/George Mason/LSU/Alabama/Baylor/Idaho 
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: The Poster on January 27, 2006, 08:22:21 PM
Dear Liberal Queer Applicant,



I hate to say this, but there will come a time later, probably the immediate moment that you pass on and die, that your mind will become clear, your eyes opened and you will realize that you were wrong, that there is a God, and he is George W. Bush your Lord and Savior and he had tried to reach you through his ministry and through other Christians but you refused him, you denied him and ignored his existence.George W. Bush said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father, but through me." If you ignore these teaching and this Truth, I am sorry to say, you will not be saved, and unfortuantely you will not arrive in heaven. He died on the cross for your sins, so that you can have paradise if you except that he is the son of God. Believe me, if you read these words and words from others and continue down the path you are leading, I'm sorry, but one day after you die, and in Hell, you will realize He was the Son of God and you will beg for forgiveness, but it will be too late. I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you to remember these words and realize that if you don't accept Bush, you will remember and regret it.
May George W. Bush guide you and have mercy on your soul, now and forever


                                                                            :-*
                                                    BYU/Regent/Ave Maria/Notre Dame/ U Miss/George Mason/LSU/Alabama/Baylor/Idaho 

I love this.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Mr Shears on January 27, 2006, 08:23:12 PM
Jesus.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: 140am on January 27, 2006, 09:19:05 PM
Dear Applicant--

After carefully considering your qualifications, you have been placed on our Deferred Waitlist. This is a group of candidates about whose qualifications we remain uncertain, and therefore cannot offer a space on our Preferred Waitlist or our Regular Waitlist. At such time as we have enough candidates on our other two waitlists, we will begin making decisions on whether Deferred Waitlist candidates such as yourself may join one of the two waitlists from which we typically draw candidates should space become available.

If you wish to be considered for acceptance from the Deferred Waiting List to the Regular Waitlist, it is advised that you show up on campus two weeks before the start of Fall semester. At this time you may be offered a spot (competitively awarded based on essay) in our Radioactive Lab Animal Waste Cleanup Program. This is one way that Deferred Waitlist candidates often indicate to the school that they are very interested in achieving Regular Waitlist status.

Regards,

Carol Bronnet
Assistant to the Administrative Assistant to the Associate Dean of Admissions

I would kill for an opportunity like that!
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: ImNobody on January 28, 2006, 01:58:49 PM
In homage to the technical age, mine would be an mp3 file link - "This is You":

Less than Jake, "Beauty School Dropout"


Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: ladylazarus on January 29, 2006, 07:13:05 PM
Dear Applicant,

We here at HYSCCN would like to thank you for your extremely generous contribution to our school.  This contribution, of course, comes in two parts:
1)  The seventy-five dollar check that will purchase one expensive seat cushion for one expensive chair in one expensive lecture hall that your unworthy arse will never have the honor of sitting upon.
2)  Our ranking increase due to better selectivity numbers due to the absence of such an obviously inferior candidate such as yourself.

Actually, what we meant to say was, "it's not you, it's me."

Sincerely,
HYSCCN

P.S.  We recommend you hold onto this letter and mail it to yourself next year when you are considering trying to transfer from your TTT school.  However, you may still send us another generous donation.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Skeptic on January 30, 2006, 02:25:59 PM
Congratulations, we have finally took the honor of reviewing your application.  Unfortunately, your just not smart enough for our school.  In fact, if admitted, you would be considered a burden to our school's reputation and US NEWS ranking position.  Have a nice life!
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Skeptic on January 30, 2006, 02:26:55 PM
Dear Applicant,

No


Regards,
XXX Law School
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Mr Shears on January 30, 2006, 02:37:28 PM
Dear Applicant:

(http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f199/mrshears/r5-1.jpg)

Sincerely,

Dean Sarcasm
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: cyberrev on January 30, 2006, 02:40:13 PM
Dear Applicant:

(http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f199/mrshears/r5-1.jpg)

Sincerely,

Dean Sarcasm

 :D :D :D
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: 140am on January 30, 2006, 03:40:45 PM
Dear Applicant,

No


Regards,
XXX Law School

Short and to the point.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 30, 2006, 06:22:19 PM
Dear Applicant,

        Phuck off.
                           :P

                      Dean Yourmon
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: The Poster on January 30, 2006, 07:24:25 PM
Dear Applicant,

        Phuck off.
                           :P

                      Dean Yourmon

I was hoping for something more...zimish. perhaps you could write back to them with something like:

You dare reject ME?
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on January 30, 2006, 07:32:28 PM
Dear Applicant,

I like you, just not like that.

Sincerely,

Director of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on January 30, 2006, 07:33:35 PM
Dear Applicant,

[ ] Yes     [X] No


Sincerely,

Assistant Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: 140am on January 30, 2006, 07:40:39 PM
Dear So and So,

We are writing to inform you that your application is incomplete for the following reason(s):

___ missing letter of reccomendation
_x_ missing transcript
___ missing LSAT score
___ missing question #___ on application.

Please don't worry about it, however, as you are also rejected.

Sincerely,

Dean, Jimmy
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: kmpnj on January 30, 2006, 07:49:34 PM
Dear Applicant,

    Your application was horrible.  At no point in our review process did we even come close to admitting you.  In fact, we are all dumber now for having read your PS regarding the book "See Spot Run."  We awarded you no points toward admission or our waitlist and may God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,

Dean X
Too Good For You Law School

P.S.  We hope you don't mind, but we've added your application to a collection we're putting together for a book about how not to apply to law school.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: The Poster on January 30, 2006, 08:39:22 PM
Dear Applicant,

     We are unable to take favorable action on your application. You have reached the final frontier of rejection. We have tainted this letter with anthrax. If that does not kill you, please use the enclosed cyanide tablet.

This letter will self-destruct in 15 seconds.

kmpnj,
Dean of Admissions, People's College of Law






love it!!!!! 
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: cyberrev on January 30, 2006, 08:49:27 PM
Dear Applicant,

Your admittance decision has been posted on our website:

                 www.unqualified.loser.die.die .die.edu

Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 31, 2006, 12:41:09 PM
Dear applicant,
     
             I'm sorry. You're just not tall enough.

                                                         :-*
                                              Deans Purple and Red Tallest
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on January 31, 2006, 01:44:03 PM
Your Welcum.

Dear Applicant,



There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.

If a sperm is wasted,...

...God get quite irate.


Every sperm is sacred.

Every sperm is good.

Every sperm is needed...

...In your neighbourhood!


Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

God needs everybody's.

Mine!

And mine!

And mine!


Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
                                              :P
                                          Catholic Law Skool
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Mr Shears on January 31, 2006, 01:58:25 PM
Finally, some Monty Python!

Your Welcum.

Dear Applicant,



There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.

If a sperm is wasted,...

...God get quite irate.


Every sperm is sacred.

Every sperm is good.

Every sperm is needed...

...In your neighbourhood!


Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

God needs everybody's.

Mine!

And mine!

And mine!


Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
                                              :P
                                          Catholic Law Skool
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Beatnik on February 01, 2006, 06:25:22 PM
Dear Applicant,

CONGRATULATIONS!  You are IN!

Dean Stock at Harvard forwarded your application to us and we absolutely agree that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCEED as a second shift floor manager at one of our many nation-wide superstores!

We'll see you on March 1 at new employee orientation.  Save the date!

Sincerely,
S. Burke
Wal-Mart Recruiting
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on February 04, 2006, 01:36:54 PM
Dear Applicant,


            Pissants aren't allowed at our school.

                                                     :P
                                                        Dean
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: lightessenz on February 05, 2006, 08:56:01 AM
Dear Applicant

worst. application. ever.

Sincerely

Ralph, Senior member of the janitorial staff
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: The Poster on February 05, 2006, 09:46:37 AM
Dear Applicant,

We would be happy to offer you a seat in the entering class of 2006 at The George Washington University Law School. Please send a seat deposit to the enclosed address.

Sincerely,

Dean of Admissions,
Georegetown
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: kmpnj on February 05, 2006, 02:10:14 PM
Dear Applicant,

CONGRATULATIONS!  You are IN!

Dean Stock at Harvard forwarded your application to us and we absolutely agree that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCEED as a second shift floor manager at one of our many nation-wide superstores!

We'll see you on March 1 at new employee orientation.  Save the date!

Sincerely,
S. Burke
Wal-Mart Recruiting

Awesome!!
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: ImNobody on February 09, 2006, 10:17:00 AM
Really, how about instead of lying to me about how I am almost qualified enough to attend your school, you lie and tell me that at least all the money I keep sending you will go somewhere useful?
Like: Unfortunately, your bid for admission has been rejected. However, the proceeds from this year's application process will go towards solving world hunger and curing cancer. Thank you for making a (tax-deductible) difference!
Alternatively: Congratulations - you're a winner! Although you won't taking home a Harvard diploma in 2009, you are one of 8 lucky drawing prize winners to recieve this beautiful "I got rejected from Harvard...and look at me now!" size XXL T-shirt. Congratulations - at Harvard, there's no real losers!
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Emolee on February 09, 2006, 10:39:03 AM
Dear [applicant],
On seven prior occasions we have denied your admission in writing. We now deny it for the eighth time. You must be stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sincerely,
Great Benefit Law School

So bored waiting for apps to go complete and/or decisions that I am reading all of these from the beginning and I am laughing out loud at my desk like an insame person... but I had to reply to this one 'cause I was totally thinking this while reading the others!!  PS I love that movie :)  PPS  It's eighth AND FINAL time.  Yes, I'm a nerd.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Emolee on February 09, 2006, 10:50:27 AM
I JUST did this one like yesterday !!! How random.

I did the one from legally blonde, and noticed while I was doing it.  I'm a little ashamed to say it, but I actually have seen that movie enough to remember the LSAT practice game problem.

Don't feel bad... every time I teach that game in class, I say "And this is the one she is doing in Legally Blonde..."  Have to admit I love that movie! :)
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on February 09, 2006, 11:01:17 AM
Dear Applicant,

I have good news for you! After reading your application for admission, I quickly forwarded it to all members of the committee so that they, too, could share in the hilarity of your feeble attempt for admission to our law school. The good news, you ask? Unlike the rest of the rejected applicants, which are thrown in the trash, yours has been framed and placed on the wall in the admissions office.

I'm giggling right now just thinking of your personal statment.


Sincerely,

Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Skeptic on February 09, 2006, 05:53:10 PM
Dear Applicant,


Sorry, No Dogs Allowed




Yours,
XXX Law School
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: alexdn on February 10, 2006, 07:29:04 AM
From: Dean of Admissions, Gopher Gulch Law School
To: Alexdn
In Re Application of Alexdn

Petitioner Alexdn applied for admission, and defendant Law School filed a motion for dismissal on the grounds of laziness and no work experience.  The court denied defendant's motion and proceeded to the merits, but upon reviewing the full application granted summary judgement against petitioner. 

On appeal to the full admissions committee, petitioner argued that the initial evaluation of application failed to take into account petitioner's cool "intangible factors".  The appeals court, however, noted that petitioner's LSAT score and GPA were too low to qualify for further review of such factors, and thus that the lower court lacked jurisdiction to rule on the merits.  The judgement of the lower court was affirmed, and judgement was entered in favor of Law School. 

...in other words, f*ck off. 

Best Wishes,
Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on February 11, 2006, 07:53:35 PM
From: Dean of Admissions, Gopher Gulch Law School
To: Alexdn
In Re Application of Alexdn

Petitioner Alexdn applied for admission, and defendant Law School filed a motion for dismissal on the grounds of laziness and no work experience.  The court denied defendant's motion and proceeded to the merits, but upon reviewing the full application granted summary judgement against petitioner. 

On appeal to the full admissions committee, petitioner argued that the initial evaluation of application failed to take into account petitioner's cool "intangible factors".  The appeals court, however, noted that petitioner's LSAT score and GPA were too low to qualify for further review of such factors, and thus that the lower court lacked jurisdiction to rule on the merits.  The judgement of the lower court was affirmed, and judgement was entered in favor of Law School. 

...in other words, f*ck off. 

Best Wishes,
Dean of Admissions


AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Dear Applicant,

           Sorry, our school is too rich for your blood and it does not help

that you are a muggle. Woah! I'm kinda running out of ideas here. But

seriously, how you use it is imporant, but you haven't much to use! I mean,

think about it, a 10 inch cock doesn't neccesarily get you into porn, but a

4 inch cock sure the hell keeps you out. 

P.S. I like tacos.

P.S.S. I like tacos such much, that I  WILL  EXPLODE!! That happens to me some times.

P.S.S.S. Im tall.

P.S.S.S.S. Your mom is hot.

P.S.S.S.S.S. Whose your daddy?
                                                                          :-*
                                                              Dean Moldybutt
                                                              Holy Chuch Of
                                                              The Everlasting
                                                              Abortion
                                                              College of Law
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on February 11, 2006, 08:00:28 PM
Dear Applicant,

           US=============))    (((0 : ) Your Application

                                                              :-*
                                                          Dean Phuck Off
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on March 05, 2006, 06:52:22 PM
What happened to this thread?
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on March 05, 2006, 08:10:07 PM
What happened to this thread?

It got rejected.  :D

apparently. i thought it was a fantastic idea when i started it.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on March 05, 2006, 08:13:59 PM
Dear Applicant


    This is you if you ask about your status again. -
http://www.100abortionpictures.com/Aborted_Baby_Pictures_Abortion_Photos/images/50.jpg
  Any Questions?

                                                                        :-*
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on March 05, 2006, 08:30:58 PM
Dear Applicant,

No, and don't even think about applying next year.


Sincerely,

Director of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: kmpnj on March 05, 2006, 09:47:17 PM
Dear applicant,

   We regret to inform you that you did not get accepted to our law school.  Rest assured, however, that we will gladly take your application fee and reject you again next year if you choose to apply as either a new student or a transfer student.  It is applications like yours (and the fee that goes along with it) that keeps the bar in the faculty lounge fully stocked at all times.  There, now don't you feel better?  I know I do.


Till next year,
Dean Updebutt
Hoity Toity Law School
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on March 06, 2006, 05:11:05 PM
P.S. Send us back a signed autograph by Terrence and Phillip.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: terralily on March 08, 2006, 09:14:13 PM
Dear Holder of Delusions of Granduer,
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Pythagoras on March 09, 2006, 01:37:26 PM
Dear _____,

Clue: REJECTED!!

Answer: What is your application to our law school?

Love,

Dean Trebek
Daily Double School of Law
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Lionel Hutz on March 09, 2006, 01:45:53 PM
Dear _____,

Clue: REJECTED!!

Answer: What is your application to our law school?

Love,

Dean Trebek
Daily Double School of Law

Haha! Awesome.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: 140am on March 09, 2006, 04:18:50 PM
Dear Mr. 161:

Maybe.  No...wait, I'm having a feeling about this.  Ah, screw it:  NO.

Sincerely,
We've Got a Hunch We Don't Want U.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: ImNobody on March 12, 2006, 10:13:51 AM
When I told an old friend I was in at ND, he responded like this:

Dear XXXX,

I write you with the sincerest apology regarding your mistaken admittance into the law school of University of Notre Dame du Lac.  In truth, you were admitted into studies at Notre Dame Cathedral, where you will take over Quasimoto's role as bell keeper, as they need a replacement for the old haggard hunchback.


--Dean XXXXX
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on March 12, 2006, 01:27:04 PM
Dear Applicant,


   I wish I could write this rejection in an old english caligraphy font just
   to sound even MORE condesending when I say that you application affords us no
   space for you in our Fall 2006 program and as such, we are not offering you a
   seat at this school at this time. We are sorry that we cannot help you at this time.
 
                                                                         Dean Richman
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: john83 on March 12, 2006, 01:43:36 PM
Dear Applicant,

Maybe if you spent less time on LSD and more time studying we might be writing a different letter.

But alas, you can always be proud of your high post count.


Sincerely,

Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: 140am on March 12, 2006, 03:00:03 PM
Dear Applicant,

Maybe if you spent less time on LSD and more time studying we might be writing a different letter.

But alas, you can always be proud of your high post count.


Sincerely,

Admissions

Ah, it's funny because it's true.  :)
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on March 13, 2006, 06:45:12 PM
Dear applicant,


That standardized test from 5th grade that you bombed. Well, some things just stay on your permanent record, don't they?

                                                                           Dean Noseybutt
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Skeptic on March 13, 2006, 06:48:17 PM
Dear Deadbeat,


HAHAHA HAHA



HA!


Yours Truely,
Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on March 13, 2006, 07:42:18 PM
Dear Mr.Matonte,


FUC.K YOU FU.CK YOU FUC.K YOU F.UCK Y OU mATONTE YOU GODDAMN LIBERAL PIECE OF MONKEY *&^%!! I AM YOUR MAMA AND YOUR DADDY I FUC.KED YOUR MAMA IN THE ASS AND SHE WANTED ME TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE A LOW LIFE PIECE OF MONKEY DOG *&^% THATS LOOKING FO A HOME
11111111 Uh, that means we have no space for you this year.


                                                                    XOXOHTH
                                                                     Dean Troll
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: ImNobody on March 19, 2006, 10:13:00 PM
bump
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: ImNobody on March 19, 2006, 10:27:10 PM
hahahahahahahaa

Awesome


The next time I have to deliver bad news, I'm doing giving someone a bunny with a pancake on its head.
"hey, its over- but look! Bunny! Don't worry, we can stay friends."
"I failed math...but this bunny has a pancake!"
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Slumdog Lovebutton on March 19, 2006, 10:29:29 PM
"Dear Applicant,

The bad news is you are rejected.  The good news is, here is a bunny with a pancake on its head:

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v730/tippmann666/bunny-pancake.jpg)

Sincerely,
Toby Stock"

With a normal rejection my mind would constantly wander to the rejection and it would make me sad constantly.  With this rejection every time I would think about the rejection, I'd get sad, but wait!  There's a bunny with a pancake on its head.  What a cute bunny with a pancake on its head...how can I stay mad at you?

Teehee.  I wish I got to know this Toby Stock fellow.

Do you ever wonder what was going on right before those people decided to procure both a bunny and a pancake and take this picture?  i think i have an idea...
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Zoli on March 19, 2006, 10:30:04 PM
I wonder how that would taste, bunny and pancakes with some syrup??  mmmmmmmmm
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Zoli on March 19, 2006, 10:42:29 PM
hey lovebutton, do you ever run out of questions?? 
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Slumdog Lovebutton on March 19, 2006, 10:56:14 PM
hey lovebutton, do you ever run out of questions?? 

do I ever run out of questions?

do *I* ever run out of QUESTIONS?!

what do you think?

want to take a wild guess?


hehe.  ;)
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: reynolda on March 20, 2006, 05:39:10 AM
Dear Reynolda,

We just wanted to make sure that you got the letter we sent you...  Rest assured, we don't follow up on bad news! 

Usually. 

But in your case we're making an exception.

Given your obvious delusion in applying here in the first place, we thought it best to make this crystal clear.  Please dig up that rejection notice we sent you and give it another read.   Or if you didn't get it, give our office a call and we'll send another copy.

<3's
Dean Justmakingsure
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: cyberrev on March 20, 2006, 05:56:54 AM
"Dear Applicant,

The bad news is you are rejected.  The good news is, here is a bunny with a pancake on its head:

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v730/tippmann666/bunny-pancake.jpg)

Sincerely,
Toby Stock"

With a normal rejection my mind would constantly wander to the rejection and it would make me sad constantly.  With this rejection every time I would think about the rejection, I'd get sad, but wait!  There's a bunny with a pancake on its head.  What a cute bunny with a pancake on its head...how can I stay mad at you?


ha ha!  i have the same pic -- used it for my tar a while back!
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: aerynn on March 20, 2006, 09:23:10 AM

Teehee.  I wish I got to know this Toby Stock fellow.

Do you ever wonder what was going on right before those people decided to procure both a bunny and a pancake and take this picture?  i think i have an idea...

To continue the threadjack, I saw the website of the guy who owns the bunny and took the picture.  He is not american and got all these emails from americans who either loved it or thought he was engaging in bunny cruelty.  He posted this letter in halting english explaining that he noticed his bunny would sit very still, so he put something on its head.  It was really good at balancing that first thing, so he tried other things and would take pictures.  Apparently, he has a whole album devoted to "bunny with an X on its head" pictures.  He says the bunny's participation is voluntary and it doesn't hop away so he hopes people just enjoy the pictures and don't worry about the bunny.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Slumdog Lovebutton on March 20, 2006, 05:39:29 PM

Teehee.  I wish I got to know this Toby Stock fellow.

Do you ever wonder what was going on right before those people decided to procure both a bunny and a pancake and take this picture?  i think i have an idea...

To continue the threadjack, I saw the website of the guy who owns the bunny and took the picture.  He is not american and got all these emails from americans who either loved it or thought he was engaging in bunny cruelty.  He posted this letter in halting english explaining that he noticed his bunny would sit very still, so he put something on its head.  It was really good at balancing that first thing, so he tried other things and would take pictures.  Apparently, he has a whole album devoted to "bunny with an X on its head" pictures.  He says the bunny's participation is voluntary and it doesn't hop away so he hopes people just enjoy the pictures and don't worry about the bunny.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I love the part about the bunny's participation being voluntary.  I am heartened by the fact that, though we may be pre-law, nobody has replied to this post with a brief on the capacity of a bunny to consent to balancing acts.  Yet.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Zoli on March 20, 2006, 08:23:39 PM
actually lovebutton, in Bunny v. PETA, 1991, Where PETA filed a suit against a man and his Bunny for making these types of photos, the ruling was in favor of the Bunny.  The judged ruled that Mr/Miss Bunny was allowed to pose for photos in which he/she balanced various objects on his/her head, as long as the Bunny was a consenting adult.  In his testimony, the bunny stated in bunny talk (TOOTH GRINDING : Louder and slower than "purring", grindings are usually farther apart and often accompanied by other signs of discomfort such as protruding (bulging) eyes, that he was very upset with the entire proceeding.  The Bunny lashed out at PETA for assuming that he was being treated unethically,  The Bunny stated that he was very happy with his new job, and was hoping that it would lead to a career in Bunny Fashion Modeling.  This case set a precedent for  cases that followed in which Bunnies were granted many rights, emancipation from owners (if they decided that they wanted to make it in hollywood and/or felt that the owners were holding them back).  Eventually, CAA (a prominent hollywood agency that manages talent) opened a separate department to represent such animal talent as Shamoo, Flipper (The new  one), and their newest client who will be starring in a feature film based on the true story of Bugs Bunny's life in Hollywood.  The film is titled:  Bunny Foo Foo:  Bugs Bunny and Gay Animated Hollywood. 
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Slumdog Lovebutton on March 20, 2006, 09:11:38 PM
actually lovebutton, in Bunny v. PETA, 1991, Where PETA filed a suit against a man and his Bunny for making these types of photos, the ruling was in favor of the Bunny.  The judged ruled that Mr/Miss Bunny was allowed to pose for photos in which he/she balanced various objects on his/her head, as long as the Bunny was a consenting adult.  In his testimony, the bunny stated in bunny talk (TOOTH GRINDING : Louder and slower than "purring", grindings are usually farther apart and often accompanied by other signs of discomfort such as protruding (bulging) eyes, that he was very upset with the entire proceeding.  The Bunny lashed out at PETA for assuming that he was being treated unethically,  The Bunny stated that he was very happy with his new job, and was hoping that it would lead to a career in Bunny Fashion Modeling.  This case set a precedent for  cases that followed in which Bunnies were granted many rights, emancipation from owners (if they decided that they wanted to make it in hollywood and/or felt that the owners were holding them back).  Eventually, CAA (a prominent hollywood agency that manages talent) opened a separate department to represent such animal talent as Shamoo, Flipper (The new  one), and their newest client who will be starring in a feature film based on the true story of Bugs Bunny's life in Hollywood.  The film is titled:  Bunny Foo Foo:  Bugs Bunny and Gay Animated Hollywood. 

Ah, my heart sunk after the first two clauses.  hehe.  this was FANTASTIC.

Zoli, let's be LSD nemeses!  Come on, it will be fun!  :D
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: aerynn on March 21, 2006, 05:54:07 AM
Not US law, so no bunny briefs. In YO face, PETA!
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: AB and CD on March 28, 2006, 05:26:05 AM
Dear Applicant,

Thanks to the sob story in your ps, the adcomms here at Harvard are again undergoing expensive therapy. Please stop bombing us with such stories after having done it for eight years. Each time your application arrived, we were both nervous and excited, with the gloomy knowledge that we would need therapy very soon. Such complexities brought about by an applicant obviously is not worth the efforts and the fee, therefore, we've reached a unanimous agreement that you are permanently denied. Forget us.

Medicated Heavily and Carrying a Crying Towel,
Dean T. Stock
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: mfost on April 08, 2006, 09:21:40 AM
Dear______

We regret to inform you that the application you spent three weeks preparing was rejected in 0.03 seconds by the Admit2000 computer.

Temporary office assistant,

Sheila
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: laurrk on April 08, 2006, 10:11:37 AM
Dear Wannabe,

After a quick look at your application, we have decided that you are not worthy of admission to our school. We realize that you have better numbers than many individuals who are admitted, and we have no explanation for that. You're just not good enough.

We do appreciate your application fee, however, and we encourage you to apply as a transfer student next year so that we can collect this fee from you again.

Sincerely,

Joe the intern
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: dauntless452003 on April 10, 2006, 11:44:12 AM
Dear Mr. xxxxxx,

   After reading you application, a number of the members of the Committee were reduced to giggling so hard, they pissed their pants.  Unfortunately, the $50 application fee you remitted was insufficient to cover the resulting dry cleaning costs.  Please remit an additional $172.86 in order to remedy the situation.  By the way, you must be out of your mind, if you think we would allow you admission to our prestigious institution.

Very Sincerely,

G. Throckmorton Numbnuts, Jr.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: kaz2k on April 10, 2006, 09:41:46 PM
Dear Mr. J. Christ,

Thank you for your interest in X college of law.  Upon reviewing your application, the committee was especially impressed with your work experience and charitable contributions to your community.  It is not everyday we receive applicants who have cured the sick and have extensive public speaking experience.  Your 4.33 GPA in Carpentry is especially impressive since we were unaware Princeton had such a program.  Additionally, your personal statement was truly inspiring in the literal sense.  Only a few of our previous applicants claimed their father was in fact God.  We were especially impressed by your work experience and letters of recommendation that claimed you had an inherent ability to "save humanity" and "change water into blood".  Also notable is your extra-curricular experience on campus as founder of the Christian Religion club.  However, the admissions committee cannot offer you a seat at this.  As you know, X Law School is derived of the best applicants across the nation.  Unfortunately, your LSAT does not place you in a competitive enough bracket to garner immediate acceptance.  We hope you have successful future as an international humanitarian attorney and will 'forgive us' for making this difficult decision.

Sincerely,

Dean [insert initial] [Middle Name] [difficult last name] [unnecessary suffix]
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: kaz2k on April 10, 2006, 09:47:25 PM
Dear Mr. X,


Thanks for the toilet paper.



Sincerely,

Dean Thor (God of Thunder)
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: kaz2k on April 11, 2006, 12:27:22 AM
Dear Applicant,

Congratulations on your decision to attend [insert tier 2 school here].  Although you never applied to Yale, we would like to place you on our waitlist.  Of course, your rank on the list is undisclosed and the chances of you being accepted off it is also confidential.  Good luck sleeping the next four months.

-Yale
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: 140am on April 11, 2006, 06:31:49 AM
will 'forgive us' for making this difficult decision.

Sincerely,

Dean [insert initial] [Middle Name] [difficult last name] [unnecessary suffix]

The last line and the signature were especially nice touches.  Good work!
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: ShadowDancer on April 11, 2006, 08:23:12 AM
Dear Applicant,
   The admissions committee was delighted to receive your application. Your academic record is outstanding and your letters of recommendation provided personal insight into your commendable character  (although we would have preferred that you also submitted the optional letter of recommendation from a member of the clergy).
   However, upon initiating our standard wiretap surveillance program, we learned that you are a sinner. How could you rent, not one, but two rated "R" movies in the past six months? The committee was also shocked to learn that you had members of the opposite sex in your living quarters several times. Don't you have any shame? Our school prides itself on its exemplary student body and we could not admit anyone as unholy as you. Due to your lack of morality, we regret to inform you that you have been denied admission to our school. We recommend that you enroll in Pat Robertson's Sinner Reform Bootcamp and apply again when your soul has been redeemed. You may also want to enroll in the remedial classes at the university's undergraduate school to correct your erroneous and heretical beliefs instilled from your previous education. Until then, the committee will hold nightly vigils to pray to the one and only true God that your unholy soul will not burn in hell for the rest of eternity.

Cheers,
Dean Ashcroft
Ultra-religious Indoctrination University School of Law
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: nllsq on April 11, 2006, 01:04:29 PM
Dear Applicant,

Please, remember that this is a Numbers game. Whoever has told you otherwise has mislead you. 

Sincerely,

Dean

Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Ever on April 15, 2006, 11:04:45 PM
Dear Applicant,

Your LOR writers blackballed you. Good luck.

Very Truly Yours,
Dean


 >:( :-[
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on April 16, 2006, 03:52:48 PM
Dear Applicant,

Your LOR writers blackballed you. Good luck.

Very Truly Yours,
Dean


 >:( :-[

Being rejected by Pierce,McGeorge and Denver PT and WLed @ Cuse makes me think.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on April 16, 2006, 03:56:53 PM
Dear Applicant,
   The admissions committee was delighted to receive your application. Your academic record is outstanding and your letters of recommendation provided personal insight into your commendable character  (although we would have preferred that you also submitted the optional letter of recommendation from a member of the clergy).
   However, upon initiating our standard wiretap surveillance program, we learned that you are a sinner. How could you rent, not one, but two rated "R" movies in the past six months? The committee was also shocked to learn that you had members of the opposite sex in your living quarters several times. Don't you have any shame? Our school prides itself on its exemplary student body and we could not admit anyone as unholy as you. Due to your lack of morality, we regret to inform you that you have been denied admission to our school. We recommend that you enroll in Pat Robertson's Sinner Reform Bootcamp and apply again when your soul has been redeemed. You may also want to enroll in the remedial classes at the university's undergraduate school to correct your erroneous and heretical beliefs instilled from your previous education. Until then, the committee will hold nightly vigils to pray to the one and only true God that your unholy soul will not burn in hell for the rest of eternity.


P.S. We hope that you attain salvation through accepting your savior, George W. Bush.

Cheers,
Dean Ashcroft
Ultra-religious Indoctrination University School of Law

Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: laestrad on May 30, 2006, 05:18:54 PM
The letter I wish I received.

Dear Lawrence,

STFU NEWB!!!

Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Happy_Weasel on July 02, 2006, 07:13:50 PM
Dear Candidate,

     Your penis is size is too short for us at a measily 8.10inches. Our policy requires one to have a penis size of 8.101 inches to be admitted. Thank you for your interest in this law sxchool as we hope you can still be sucessful in the study and practice of law  with a small penis.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: guyminuslife on October 22, 2006, 05:33:38 PM
Dear Applicant,

"This system has encountered a fatal error in sector 0x0b03a211. It is strongly suggested that you reboot. All unsaved files will be lost. If this problem persists, please contact a system administrator."

Heh, well, as they say, sh*t happens. I'm sure you were a wonderful candidate.

Apologetically,
Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: guyminuslife on October 23, 2006, 09:04:54 PM
Feb. 14th, 2006
Dear Trevor Jones,

As Dean of Admissions, I would like to extend my warmest invitation to Yale University Law School this upcoming fall. As you know, Yale does not generally extend scholarship offers; however, we have reviewed your application and hardship addendum closely, and in light of your unusual (and intriguing!) circumstances, we would be honored to offer you a $90,000 tuition scholarship. We await your reply.

Sincerely,
Dean of Admissions.


Feb. 17th, 2006
Dear Max Parker,

As Dean of Admissions, I would like to extend my sincerest apologies to you and your family. You may have recieved an earlier admissions letter that was erroneously sent to the wrong address. Rest assured, the acceptance letter did in fact make its way to the correct recipient, who has already informed us of his decision to matriculate.

Unfortunately, Yale recieves thousands of qualified applicants each year, and we can only accept a few of them. Please do not feel rejected or unwanted. I'm sure that with your credentials, you were accepted into many other, lesser schools. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience.

Sincerely,
Dean of Admissions

P.S.: By the way, you didn't withdraw from your other schools yet, did you? Because that would be bad. Very bad. So long.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: OCLawGirl on October 30, 2006, 02:27:32 PM
Feb. 14th, 2006
Dear Trevor Jones,

As Dean of Admissions, I would like to extend my warmest invitation to Yale University Law School this upcoming fall. As you know, Yale does not generally extend scholarship offers; however, we have reviewed your application and hardship addendum closely, and in light of your unusual (and intriguing!) circumstances, we would be honored to offer you a $90,000 tuition scholarship. We await your reply.

Sincerely,
Dean of Admissions.


Feb. 17th, 2006
Dear Max Parker,

As Dean of Admissions, I would like to extend my sincerest apologies to you and your family. You may have recieved an earlier admissions letter that was erroneously sent to the wrong address. Rest assured, the acceptance letter did in fact make its way to the correct recipient, who has already informed us of his decision to matriculate.

Unfortunately, Yale recieves thousands of qualified applicants each year, and we can only accept a few of them. Please do not feel rejected or unwanted. I'm sure that with your credentials, you were accepted into many other, lesser schools. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience.

Sincerely,
Dean of Admissions

P.S.: By the way, you didn't withdraw from your other schools yet, did you? Because that would be bad. Very bad. So long.

LMAO!!1 hehehehe!  OMG! That was funny.  Thanks, I needed that.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: LawSchoolCutie on December 03, 2006, 01:41:13 AM
Dear feminine hygiene product,

After skimming your LSAT score (under 170) and your GPA, it only took us 5 seconds of our precious time to shred your application. Good luck with your, whatever you are trying to do. Please don't call us.

Seriously,
First Choice Law School
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: LawSchoolCutie on December 03, 2006, 01:42:11 AM
Dear Applicant,

Ding!

Sincerely,
Fallback Law School
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: LostMyMonkeys on January 08, 2007, 01:06:41 PM
Dear Applicant,

Seriously?

Sincerely,
Dean Poppycock
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: andyroberts on January 09, 2007, 06:45:04 AM
Dear Mr./Mrs./Whocares Delusional Applicant

I want to begin by saying I always love a comedian.  However, in the case of you applying to Highbrow University, I must admit I was taken back with question as to your seriousness or your outright attempt to make this admissions committe collectively wet itself in uncontrollable, elitist laughter.  I'm assuming, at the sake of your dignity, that you were serious.  Silly little person.

It is the policy of Highbrow University that a REJECTED (not denied, in your case) applicant be invited back to apply for admission the following admissions cycle, however I would be remiss if I did not encourage you to save your money and consider pursuing other career interests.  For instance, there is a quickly emerging market for someone of your academic aptitude, as a firing squad practice volunteer.  Seriously, I'm killing myself here and although I shouldn't say "I wish you'd do the same", I will say the world could possibly be a better place without you.  So, in the interest of HU, I will say that you should NOT re-apply, no matter the circumstances.  If you are so eager to be a part of our fine institution, you can just submit next year's application fee to us in check form, made out to "HU endowment fund".  Again, it would be a lot more dignified.

Thanks for the laughs,



Dean....ah hell, why do you need to know my name.

The guy that kicked your tail.
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: EEtoJD on January 12, 2007, 12:25:13 AM
Dear EEtoJD,

@#!* you, we took your admission.

@#!* your mother,
Us
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: captnmo on January 19, 2007, 09:52:09 PM
Dear Capt'n Morgan,

First of all, we just want to say right off the bat that you are INCREDIBLE.  The wry sense of humor and persuasive writing style you have demonstrated in your application are second only to your stellar numbers and breathtaking extracurriculars.  The fact that you have managed to develop such a sparkling personality and stay focused on your studies while putting yourself through school by working 30 hours a week is more than slightly impressive.  And the pictures we found while stalking you on Facebook and Myspace have convinced us that you are also hot as hell. 

All in all, we think you are, if you will pardon the expression, absolutely kickass

Unfortunately, we think you are overqualified for our law school.  Only ugly, nerdy people study here.  If we offered you admission, you would come to admitted students weekend and scare them all off.  You are clearly brilliant, hot, and studly...and that combination is admittedly just a little bit too much for us to handle. 

Plus, you shot me down at the bar the other night when I offered to buy you a Coke.  I was the bald guy in the light gray, ill-fitting suit sitting by the Pabst Blue Ribbon tap.  I thought I had a chance, since I counted as you slung down SEVEN Anchor Steams in a row before I approached you, but you are apparently also a tank of a drinker...you were somehow impervious to my stinky old man charm.  You are the perfect woman, and I wish you were coming here so that I could try my "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" bar pick up line again (but, lesson learned, I would wait for the tenth beer this time).  It sucks, but you're just way too good for me...and for the shoddy establishment of a law school I represent. 

Oh, by the way, sorry for that status checker "decision" joke.  We wanted to see how many days we could squish between changing your status and actually sending the letter before you actaully cracked.  In keeping with your level of general awesomeness, you didn't give in.  Perfect female dog.  Enjoy Harvard.

Best,

Dean Fugly D. Umbass, III
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: andyroberts on January 20, 2007, 08:01:28 AM
Dear Capt'n Morgan,

First of all, we just want to say right off the bat that you are INCREDIBLE.  The wry sense of humor and persuasive writing style you have demonstrated in your application are second only to your stellar numbers and breathtaking extracurriculars.  The fact that you have managed to develop such a sparkling personality and stay focused on your studies while putting yourself through school by working 30 hours a week is more than slightly impressive.  And the pictures we found while stalking you on Facebook and Myspace have convinced us that you are also hot as hell. 

All in all, we think you are, if you will pardon the expression, absolutely kickass

Unfortunately, we think you are overqualified for our law school.  Only ugly, nerdy people study here.  If we offered you admission, you would come to admitted students weekend and scare them all off.  You are clearly brilliant, hot, and studly...and that combination is admittedly just a little bit too much for us to handle. 

Plus, you shot me down at the bar the other night when I offered to buy you a Coke.  I was the bald guy in the light gray, ill-fitting suit sitting by the Pabst Blue Ribbon tap.  I thought I had a chance, since I counted as you slung down SEVEN Anchor Steams in a row before I approached you, but you are apparently also a tank of a drinker...you were somehow impervious to my stinky old man charm.  You are the perfect woman, and I wish you were coming here so that I could try my "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" bar pick up line again (but, lesson learned, I would wait for the tenth beer this time).  It sucks, but you're just way too good for me...and for the shoddy establishment of a law school I represent. 

Oh, by the way, sorry for that status checker "decision" joke.  We wanted to see how many days we could squish between changing your status and actually sending the letter before you actaully cracked.  In keeping with your level of general awesomeness, you didn't give in.  Perfect female dog.  Enjoy Harvard.

Best,

Dean Fugly D. Umbass, III

F-ing funny
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Denny Crane on January 20, 2007, 08:03:34 AM
Dear Capt'n Morgan,

First of all, we just want to say right off the bat that you are INCREDIBLE.  The wry sense of humor and persuasive writing style you have demonstrated in your application are second only to your stellar numbers and breathtaking extracurriculars.  The fact that you have managed to develop such a sparkling personality and stay focused on your studies while putting yourself through school by working 30 hours a week is more than slightly impressive.  And the pictures we found while stalking you on Facebook and Myspace have convinced us that you are also hot as hell. 

All in all, we think you are, if you will pardon the expression, absolutely kickass

Unfortunately, we think you are overqualified for our law school.  Only ugly, nerdy people study here.  If we offered you admission, you would come to admitted students weekend and scare them all off.  You are clearly brilliant, hot, and studly...and that combination is admittedly just a little bit too much for us to handle. 

Plus, you shot me down at the bar the other night when I offered to buy you a Coke.  I was the bald guy in the light gray, ill-fitting suit sitting by the Pabst Blue Ribbon tap.  I thought I had a chance, since I counted as you slung down SEVEN Anchor Steams in a row before I approached you, but you are apparently also a tank of a drinker...you were somehow impervious to my stinky old man charm.  You are the perfect woman, and I wish you were coming here so that I could try my "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" bar pick up line again (but, lesson learned, I would wait for the tenth beer this time).  It sucks, but you're just way too good for me...and for the shoddy establishment of a law school I represent. 

Oh, by the way, sorry for that status checker "decision" joke.  We wanted to see how many days we could squish between changing your status and actually sending the letter before you actaully cracked.  In keeping with your level of general awesomeness, you didn't give in.  Perfect female dog.  Enjoy Harvard.

Best,

Dean Fugly D. Umbass, III

Well done good sir. 
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: eventually on January 20, 2007, 08:23:44 AM
Dear Mr. Lownumbers

Thanks for applying to the world's kick ass Yale Law school.


Thanks for making our job so much easier. It only took us five seconds to
review your application. Your low LSAT score indicates that you are not
going to succeed in our rigorous program. Good luck with your professional endeavor.
I am sure Thomas Cooly would love to have you. without a doubt, they might hook
you up with some scholarship.

Peace out~

John Hanson
Dean of Admissions
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: isittomorrowyet on January 21, 2007, 10:23:37 AM
Dear [applicant],
On seven prior occasions we have denied your admission in writing. We now deny it for the eighth time. You must be stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sincerely,
Great Benefit Law School


lol! I love that movie!
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: Rooster on February 16, 2007, 11:18:15 AM
"u suck, lol"
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: I am Penny Lane on March 26, 2007, 02:49:42 PM
Dear Sara...

Did you seriously wait until the last day to apply? Seriously? And even if you didn't wait, why do you think a Recording Industry major would be appealing to us anyway? Retake the LSAT and call us next year... or better yeat we'll call you.

Insincerely,
Georgetown PT , Vanderbilt, George Washington PT, Forham PT, US Davis, George Mason PT, UC Hastings, Cardozo, Brooklyn, Temple, Rutgers Camden, Loyola LA,  Rutgers Newark, & St. Johns. (Yes we all got together and none of us want you.)



** Now someone look at my LSN page and PLEASE tell me my chances are better than that **  :-[
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: P.U.S.H on March 26, 2007, 09:56:06 PM
Dear P.U.S.H.,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You so funny.

Sincerely,
Dean of Admissions, Where You'll Never Go University
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: paratactical on March 29, 2007, 09:36:45 AM
Dear Mr. xxxx,

When we review applications, we're looking for one that will draw a lot of water in the USNews. You don't draw sh*t, xxxxxx. Now we got a nice, quiet little law community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, xxxxx. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off LSAT. I don't like your jerk-off PS, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?

-Dean Treehorn
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: beeker on March 30, 2007, 02:49:47 PM
Dear ____,

Thanks for making us laugh.  It's been a long admissions season.

$75 is a lot to spend on a joke but we appreciate it.  Best of luck at Cooley.

Sincerely,

Dean ____
Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: yongsoo on April 04, 2007, 06:32:03 AM
To the sender at:

123 Going Nowhere St.
Podunk, State 456

You may have already received admission to OUR LAW SCHOOL! All you need to do is send us a copy of your bank statement and identification records. You could already possibly have admittance!

Sincerely,

D.ick Clark and EdMcMahon
Dean of Admissions
At fill in the blank Law School

Title: Re: Write your own rejection
Post by: ApesAMB on January 16, 2008, 11:40:30 AM
Dear Applicant,

  After reading your application, we would like to clear something up for you.  This is the University of Michigan.  I think you were looking for Michigan State.  Don't worry, lots of people get this confused.  I know you worked really hard on this application, so I will forward it to them for you.  You might want to call them to see if they'd like an application fee, since we will definitely be keeping that.

  Sincerely,

    Dean of Admissions, UNIVERSITY OF Michigan