Law School Discussion

Applying to Law School => Personal Statements, Resumes, and Letters of Recommendation => Topic started by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 04:17:20 PM

Title: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 04:17:20 PM
is a word i use in my personal statement, but so far several people have read it and mentioned that i might give a 60-yr-old admissions person cardiac arrest that way  :o

anyone agree i need to wash my mouth out with soap? or does controversial = memorable
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: guyutegirl (Jew-Lo) on July 09, 2004, 04:22:04 PM
Let's hear the context
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 04:34:27 PM
it's an academic reference. something about freud and foucault, and critical cultural studies, and bulimia being purely masturbatory. summarizing a talk i gave in grad school, since grad school is all about sex anyway.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 04:54:17 PM
it's an academic reference. something about freud and foucault, and critical cultural studies, and bulimia being purely masturbatory. summarizing a talk i gave in grad school, since grad school is all about sex anyway.

Let me see if I can lend a hand here ;).  s'all a bit verbose to me.  And, if you have to use "masturbate" to try to make your point, maybe you oughta go jogging or something. :P    Hey, that's just me.  You may find adcom'ers who find it witty and edgy...and, oh boy...you may not!
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 04:57:02 PM
well.. ok, larger context is definitely necessary here. which would require reading my whole PS so i think it's moot. (or as joey says on friends, it's a moo point. like, the point is MOO.) was just asking if anyone would refrain totally on principle
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 05:03:10 PM
well.. ok, larger context is definitely necessary here. which would require reading my whole PS so i think it's moot. (or as joey says on friends, it's a moo point. like, the point is MOO.) was just asking if anyone would refrain totally on principle

Oh, I know what ya mean.  I used "jack off" in my PS, but as you say context is everything.  I went with the noun.  Said...hey, if you jack off's look at my last year instead of the overall gpa, I think we can make this baby work.  I'm still waitin'. ::)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: TDPookie1 on July 09, 2004, 05:06:25 PM
well.. ok, larger context is definitely necessary here. which would require reading my whole PS so i think it's moot. (or as joey says on friends, it's a moo point. like, the point is MOO.) was just asking if anyone would refrain totally on principle

Lexy, you're my favorite person on this board just for the reference to Joey!

Joey: "Does the guy like you?  Cuz if he doesn't like you, it's a moo point."
Rachel: "Moo?"
Joey: "Yeah, you know, like a cow's opinion: It doesn't matter.  ::pause:: It's moo."

I died laughing the first time I heard that.  That's paraphrased as best as I could remember it.  If I were less lazy, I'd look up the line on imdb.com and see if it's there.

I wouldn't refrain from using the word on principle, by the way.  If it works in context, it might be fine.  I see why it could be controversial, but I can't imagine someone denying you admission based on that; I think it makes you sound smarter.  Maybe it's just a generational thing, since I'm 22 and not easily shocked by words...  :)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 05:09:12 PM
yes definitely best thing ever said on friends ever. moo.

but also "transvestism." i use that too. they can handle it right?

hmm, i wonder which is the most conservative of the LS people... guess i should skip those schools anyway ;)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: dta on July 09, 2004, 05:12:32 PM
Sounds like you're going for the intelligentsia angle in your PS. Just be careful. From many Dean quotes i've read in "How to get into top law schools" that can be a real hot potato regardless of how smart you sound.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 05:14:26 PM
And, Lexy...thanks for rolling with my Friday night, Sam Adams-induced humor (tho you may not be in the mood for it).  Aanyway, I guess you're smart enough to make it work.  So, good luck!!
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 05:19:39 PM
Sounds like you're going for the intelligentsia angle in your PS. Just be careful. From many Dean quotes i've read in "How to get into top law schools" that can be a real hot potato regardless of how smart you sound.

maybe i AM a hot potato! hehe

also it just dawned on me that we will go to law school and then we'll participate in moo court. you know, like court for a cow. the court is moo.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 05:20:54 PM
I take it back.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: superiorlobe on July 09, 2004, 05:21:43 PM
Hi Lexy,

I advise against it.  Ironically, if you were using the word to refer to actual masturbation I wouldn't have a problem.  Hey -- an essay about masturbation would be unique and daring and might work if written with a playful tone.  But it sounds like you are using the word as part of a BS, "intellectual" personal statement.  There is nothing that turns me off more than English majors who BS a lot. If you try and look smart in a personal statement, I think it will backfire.  My own opinion of you has already dropped upon hearing what you plan to write about.

Superiorlobe
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: TDPookie1 on July 09, 2004, 05:22:56 PM
Moo court!  I can't wait!  Would I have a greater chance of participating in moo court if I go to LS in an agricultural state, like Iowa or Nebraska?  :)

P.S. To counter superiorlobe, I've gotta say that my opinion of you has risen as a result of this thread.  :)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: Ginatio on July 09, 2004, 05:25:49 PM
I'm sure she's devastated.

My own opinion of you has already dropped upon hearing what you plan to write about.

My suggestion is to write two personal statements--a safe, traditional one and then this one with the masturbation in it. Send one to half of the schools you're applying to, and the other to the other half. just to hedge...
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 05:35:47 PM
My suggestion is to write two personal statements--a safe, traditional one and then this one with the masturbation in it. Send one to half of the schools you're applying to, and the other to the other half. just to hedge...

No, no..send the masturbation PS only to Boalt.  Send all the other schools the regular one.  And, for god's sake, don't get 'em mixed up!!
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 05:37:32 PM
right, ok, i retract this whole thread b/c my PS actually has nothing to do with touching myself (when i think about yale i...) NOR is it about being an intellectual. i swear. it's actually about fenway park.

<sigh>

as for 'lobe's opinion of me...damn, i just can't find the right emoticon!
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 05:46:10 PM
A rather *anti-climactic* ending. :P
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: TDPookie1 on July 09, 2004, 05:54:23 PM
right, ok, i retract this whole thread b/c my PS actually has nothing to do with touching myself (when i think about yale i...)

HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!  maybe your PS should be rewriting the lyrics of the original to be about yale.  of course, don't send that one to harvard :)  harvard will get the one about fenway park.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: Tyrant on July 09, 2004, 05:55:29 PM
it's an academic reference. something about freud and foucault, and critical cultural studies, and bulimia being purely masturbatory. summarizing a talk i gave in grad school, since grad school is all about sex anyway.

Is bulimia purely masturbatory? or is it just an eating disorder charactorized by binge eating and feelings of quilt that are similiar to masturbatory activities?

I would think if you're really worried about the word you could substitute self-indulgent.

Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 05:56:17 PM
[quote author=wanderer link=topic=4730.msg55503#msg55503
Oh, I know what ya mean.  I used "jack off" in my PS, but as you say context is everything.  I went with the noun.  Said...hey, if you jack off's look at my last year instead of the overall gpa, I think we can make this baby work.  I'm still waitin'. ::)
Quote

i'm totally down with this use of "jack off," but i fear adcoms might be troubled by your misplaced apostrophe!  ;)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 06:05:01 PM
[quote author=wanderer link=topic=4730.msg55503#msg55503
Oh, I know what ya mean.  I used "jack off" in my PS, but as you say context is everything.  I went with the noun.  Said...hey, if you jack off's look at my last year instead of the overall gpa, I think we can make this baby work.  I'm still waitin'. ::)
Quote

i'm totally down with this use of "jack off," but i fear adcoms might be troubled by your misplaced apostrophe!  ;)

If you look up apostrophe, one of the definitions is "to denote certain plurals."  So, instead of jackoff's, if I said you Smith's or you Wilson's...would that be okay? (but it wouldn't have had the same ring, huh?!!)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 06:11:09 PM
nope, still wrong, unless you're jane austen; i think it was right when she wrote. apostrophes for plural are rare-- best example is with abbreviations, like "i got two B's this semester so i bought a couple DVD's to celebrate."
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: dta on July 09, 2004, 06:13:24 PM
nope, still wrong, unless you're jane austen; i think it was right when she wrote. apostrophes for plural are rare-- best example is with abbreviations, like "i got two B's this semester so i bought a couple DVD's to celebrate."

Then how do you suggest properly pluralizing "jackoff" when used as a noun? Jackoff's does, initially, seem correct to me.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 06:18:12 PM
Assigning the term Jackoff's to *persons* is the same usage as Smith's, Wilson's, etc.  Any rationalization to the contrary is coming from one who intellectualizes using "masturbation" in her PS. 
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: Ginatio on July 09, 2004, 06:20:45 PM
wtf is wrong with you people?
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 06:22:34 PM
Assigning the term Jackoff's to *persons* is the same usage as Smith's, Wilson's, etc.  Any rationalization to the contrary is coming from one who intellectualizes using "masturbation" in her PS. 

right. all of those are wrong. sorry, i hereby promise not to takl grammar on this board ever again.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: superiorlobe on July 09, 2004, 06:22:55 PM
Assigning the term Jackoff's to *persons* is the same usage as Smith's, Wilson's, etc.  Any rationalization to the contrary is coming from one who intellectualizes using "masturbation" in her PS. 

wtf is wrong with you people?

I think the person who has something wrong is Wanderer.

Give up wanderer.  Give up.  You lost.  The apostrophe was in the wrong place.  Just give up.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 06:25:52 PM
Oookay, let's just say you're right.  And, you're right about masturbation!!  But, please capitalize Fenway Park even if you are a lower case poster.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 06:31:13 PM
Oookay, let's just say you're right.  And, you're right about masturbation!!  But, please capitalize Fenway Park even if you are a lower case poster.


:D let's you & i be friends
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: NorthwoodV on July 09, 2004, 06:33:02 PM
Do not put masturbation in your PS.

Teachers may all be liberal, but the right wing has conspired to dominate admissions committees and refuse entry to blacks, gays, and people that have and/or talk about sex.

You could still send it to Berkeley, the electrical perimeter is still active and preventing conservatives from entering the county.

To all the other schools, write about federalism.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 06:34:34 PM
Oookay, let's just say you're right.  And, you're right about masturbation!!  But, please capitalize Fenway Park even if you are a lower case poster.


:D let's you & i be friends

Ha, ha.  Damn right, Lex.  And, I think I'll go watch a couple of DVD's in my BVD'S.  How'm I doin' now? ;D
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 06:38:22 PM
Quote from: wanderer link=topic=4730.msg55555#msg55555 How'm I doin' now? ;D
[quote

niiiiiice
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: swifty on July 09, 2004, 06:39:54 PM
As far as I know it's not the wording they are lookng for.  They are looking at why you want to study law and why at their school, and any challenge you had to overcome. If you have to ask people you don't know, then that should tell you it's not worth it.  One word does not an essay make.  However, one word, could destroy an essay.  I was always taught to keep it on the safe side when in doubt.  Shock value, although that is not what you are doing, and it may be perceived as such by the adcomms, is not advisable.  Play it safe.  Your smart enough to write an awesome essay without one word, or two (transvestism) ruining it.  Although if you had helped a person overcome his addiction to masturbation, then that is a totally different story.   

"When ever you feel like masturbating, look at a picture of swifty, that will calm your
urges."  ;)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 06:45:12 PM
Damn, and I thought I was goin' crazy.  Thanks for coming along, Swifty. 8)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: dta on July 09, 2004, 07:54:54 PM
Assigning the term Jackoff's to *persons* is the same usage as Smith's, Wilson's, etc.  Any rationalization to the contrary is coming from one who intellectualizes using "masturbation" in her PS. 

right. all of those are wrong. sorry, i hereby promise not to takl grammar on this board ever again.

If they are wrong, then please provide the plural form for "jackoff" when used as a noun. Merely saying that jackoff's is incorrect is not convincing.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: TDPookie1 on July 09, 2004, 07:56:38 PM
Jackoffs.  Just like how the plural of bird is birds.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: dta on July 09, 2004, 07:59:01 PM
Jackoffs.  Just like how the plural of bird is birds.

Actually, that looks correct. Here's an interesting twist though. What if the nound is not condensed? That is, what if "jack off" is used as two words but indicating a single entity? Which, then, of the following would be correct?

1. You jack off's are being so silly.

or

2. You jack offs are being so silly.

The original usage, which lexylit objected to, involved this sort of use of "jack off" as a noun. That is, it was used as two-word designation of a single entity, not a single-word designation ala jackoff.

Yes, arguing about grammar is silly. But if one is going to be clever and witty and use grammar naziism to come off as sophisticated then one ought to be prepared for a battle of nitpicking.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 08:26:11 PM
I dished out a lotta *&^% about using "masturbation" in a PS (and Montauk would shiver), so I guess I had it coming back to me in the form of an apostrophe. :o
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 09, 2004, 08:34:37 PM
arguing about grammar is silly. But if one is going to be clever and witty and use grammar naziism to come off as sophisticated then one ought to be prepared for a battle of nitpicking.

IT WAS A JOKE!

the joke was, they'll love you for calling them jackoffs, they just won't love your punctuation choices.

did you really think that was sincere?
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 09, 2004, 09:06:02 PM
Jackoffs.  Just like how the plural of bird is birds.

Actually, that looks correct. Here's an interesting twist though. What if the nound is not condensed? That is, what if "jack off" is used as two words but indicating a single entity? Which, then, of the following would be correct?

1. You jack off's are being so silly.

or

2. You jack offs are being so silly.

The original usage, which lexylit objected to, involved this sort of use of "jack off" as a noun. That is, it was used as two-word designation of a single entity, not a single-word designation ala jackoff.

Yes, arguing about grammar is silly. But if one is going to be clever and witty and use grammar naziism to come off as sophisticated then one ought to be prepared for a battle of nitpicking.

Nitpicking about an apostrophe was a distractor.  The real issue was kind of embarassing.  But, it was pretty funny too!  :-*
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: TDPookie1 on July 09, 2004, 09:11:07 PM
Well, Lexy just used "jackoff," not "jack off."  But the plural would be "jack offs."  I'm trying to think of an example but can only think of ones where the first word stands on its own as an adjective, whereas "jack" is not an adjective describing "off."  My guess would be that "jack off" is a verb, whereas "jackoff" is a noun.  Is that possibly, Lexy?
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: dta on July 09, 2004, 09:25:46 PM
arguing about grammar is silly. But if one is going to be clever and witty and use grammar naziism to come off as sophisticated then one ought to be prepared for a battle of nitpicking.

IT WAS A JOKE!

the joke was, they'll love you for calling them jackoffs, they just won't love your punctuation choices.

did you really think that was sincere?

I knew you were joking and adopting a playful tone. But you were, i believe, attempting to demonstrate a certain degree of sophistication and wit by pointing out someone else's grammar mistake in a clever way. I do believe you are sophisticated and witty but you do yourself a disservice when attempting to showcase it via someone else's grammar mistake (a 'mistake' which is debatable).
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: TDPookie1 on July 10, 2004, 12:18:52 AM
The mistake isn't debatable, though.  That's just not a situation in which you use an apostrophe to pluralize a word.  (Is "pluralize" a word?)  What IS debatable is your take on Lexy's remark in the last sentence.  I don't think she is doing herself a disservice at all; I think her remark continued in the same tone as the original response about "jack offs."
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: superiorlobe on July 10, 2004, 04:50:19 PM
I am genuinely curious now about the word "jack off"  I think that when used as a noun it should be hyphenated: You're a bastard, a jack-off, and a son-of-a-female dog.  And when pluralized it should still be hyphenated: You're all bastards, jack-offs, and son-of-a-bitches.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: buster on July 10, 2004, 04:55:42 PM
I would tend to agree. When used as a verb, on the other hand, two separate words, no?

I am genuinely curious now about the word "jack off"  I think that when used as a noun it should be hyphenated: You're a bastard, a jack-off, and a son-of-a-female dog.  And when pluralized it should still be hyphenated: You're all bastards, jack-offs, and son-of-a-bitches.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 10, 2004, 05:02:36 PM
I am genuinely curious now about the word "jack off"  I think that when used as a noun it should be hyphenated: You're a bastard, a jack-off, and a son-of-a-female dog.  And when pluralized it should still be hyphenated: You're all bastards, jack-offs, and son-of-a-bitches.

That would be sons of bitches as long as you're being particular, Lobes. (yawn)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: superiorlobe on July 10, 2004, 05:08:38 PM
I am genuinely curious now about the word "jack off"  I think that when used as a noun it should be hyphenated: You're a bastard, a jack-off, and a son-of-a-female dog.  And when pluralized it should still be hyphenated: You're all bastards, jack-offs, and son-of-a-bitches.

That would be sons of bitches as long as you're being particular, Lobes. (yawn)


I purposefully avoided sons-of-bitches.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: exposť on July 10, 2004, 05:11:24 PM
I am genuinely curious now about the word "jack off"  I think that when used as a noun it should be hyphenated: You're a bastard, a jack-off, and a son-of-a-female dog.  And when pluralized it should still be hyphenated: You're all bastards, jack-offs, and son-of-a-bitches.

That would be sons of bitches as long as you're being particular, Lobes. (yawn)


I purposefully avoided sons of bitches.

Wouldn't that be self destructive? ;)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: shortbus on July 10, 2004, 05:40:14 PM
it's an academic reference. something about freud and foucault, and critical cultural studies, and bulimia being purely masturbatory. summarizing a talk i gave in grad school, since grad school is all about sex anyway.

most people don't mind hearing about masturbation, it's freud and foucault that bothers them
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: TDPookie1 on July 10, 2004, 11:13:32 PM
I am genuinely curious now about the word "jack off"  I think that when used as a noun it should be hyphenated: You're a bastard, a jack-off, and a son-of-a-female dog.  And when pluralized it should still be hyphenated: You're all bastards, jack-offs, and son-of-a-bitches.

I don't think "son of a female dog" is hyphenated, and wanderer is correct that the plural is "sons of bitches."  The "son" is the main object, so you need to pluralize it.  "Son of a bitches" would imply that one son can have more than one mother, particularly of the female dog variety.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=jack%20off

That's the dictionary entry, but it makes no mention of a noun form of "jack off."  I've decided that I think it would keep the same form as the verb if it were a noun.  What does lexy think?  :)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: mancow555 on July 11, 2004, 01:27:18 AM
although, if they are all brothers then they could be "sons of a female dog." 
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: TDPookie1 on July 11, 2004, 03:09:55 AM
although, if they are all brothers then they could be "sons of a female dog." 

If you say so.  But they would not be sons of bitches, as I assume you and your brothers have only the one mother...
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: superiorlobe on July 11, 2004, 01:41:13 PM
Man, you guys don't get it.  I was not trying to pluralize "son of a female dog" correctly.  I was trying to have fun with language.  I guess I should remember to put smileys next to everything that is not a completely serious pronouncement about life.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: Kwertee on July 11, 2004, 01:51:51 PM
Man, you guys don't get it.  ;D  I was not trying to pluralize "son of a female dog" correctly.  ;)  I was trying to have fun with language.  :-X  I guess I should remember to put smileys next to everything that is not a completely serious pronouncement about life.  :D
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: TDPookie1 on July 12, 2004, 12:11:45 AM
I'm glad you weren't completely serious, superiorlobe, but that honestly doesn't matter to me.  I'm so bored that I'll start or join a discussion about it anyway ;)

I think I'll be better now, because my boyfriend and I just moved in together to a new apartment, so now I get to play housewife while looking for a job :)  Now that I have something better to do, maybe I'll relax in my role as grammar police.  ;)
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: BAFF213 on July 24, 2004, 12:53:35 PM
I enjoy being the spelling police from time to time.
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: brothernads on July 29, 2004, 08:24:50 AM
 does this mean I shouldn't use the word seminal in my PS?? ;D
Title: Re: masturbation
Post by: lexylit on July 29, 2004, 10:16:32 AM
"and that's why i'm petitioning to have the second half of the year be called the O-vester."

-legally blonde