Law School Discussion

Off-Topic Area => General Off-Topic Board => Topic started by: TheNewGuy on May 30, 2004, 02:50:10 AM

Title: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)???
Post by: TheNewGuy on May 30, 2004, 02:50:10 AM
Ok, so I am 21 years old...NEVER had a girlfriend before, never dated or anything. I come to find out that the girl down the hall likes me. We start talking, hitting it off, things are going good so far. About two days ago, we were talking and she asked about my previous relationships. I told her that I had 2 previous girlfriends, and made up back stories on the fly for each. I lied because I didn't want her to think I was a social freak, and was afraid that she might think there was something wrong with me if I hadn't been in any relationships before (she is quite experienced in that arena). I kinda feel bad for lying, especially if we actually do get together...but maybe this was a necessary lie?? What do you guys think?
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ladyday on May 30, 2004, 05:10:54 AM
Ok, so I am 21 years old...NEVER had a girlfriend before, never dated or anything. I come to find out that the girl down the hall likes me. We start talking, hitting it off, things are going good so far. About two days ago, we were talking and she asked about my previous relationships. I told her that I had 2 previous girlfriends, and made up back stories on the fly for each. I lied because I didn't want her to think I was a social freak, and was afraid that she might think there was something wrong with me if I hadn't been in any relationships before (she is quite experienced in that arena). I kinda feel bad for lying, especially if we actually do get together...but maybe this was a necessary lie?? What do you guys think?

I don't think that this was a necessary lie, I mean if she didn't like you just b/c you haven't had a girlfriend before what kind of person does that make her. But it also isn't like a BIG lie. It's not like you're a pedophile and never told her that. Can you live with knowing that you lied to her about this? If you can, who cares, it's not something that I think could came back to haunt you, although, if you guys became serious and she asks you a whole bunch of questions you have to continually come up with lie upon lie upon lie. If you can't live with that or you don't want to continue to lie, tell her the truth, and if she really likes you enough she'd understand.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Lavia on May 30, 2004, 07:29:43 AM
She might think it's cute that you liked her so much you made up the silly lie.

I really enjoyed dating a couple of guys who were inexperienced. I felt special, and I felt "safe" as far as diseases go. I also understood better their quirks...I realized they had no experience, and I forgave them easier when they made mistakes.

I will admit, though, that I felt "responsible" for them. Like I had to "teach" them, take them under my wing. This was hard on me, but they didn't seem to suffer. In fact, they both ended up dumping me (but they are the few that have remained good friends with me).

I think owning up to it won't harm too much, and I think she'll be flattered.

Lavia
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: ruskiegirl on May 30, 2004, 10:39:10 AM
I agree with Lavia.  Inexperienced is not always unattractive, especially in today's world where you really have to worry about the ones that have had too much experience.  I don't think the lie was necessary.  You want someone to like you for you and not the relationships that you have or haven't had.  I think honesty and trust are important components of each relationship and you probably ought to tell her the truth. 

Personally, I find younger/less experienced men attractive because they tend to tap into the "raw emotion" of a relationship rather than try to put up a front and appear cool, detached, manly, whatever.  My first bf in college was less experienced than I was. (I was his first gf ever and he was still in high school when we began dating.)  Out of all the men I have ever dated, he was the one that was the most open and uninhibited about his feelings.  He complimented me more, supported me at all times, and was more on his toes about making mistakes in the relationship. 
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 10:55:26 AM
How come you haven't dated till now?  Are you shy?  Cause I DO THINK this is relevant to how you should approach this situation

Oh, and tell us about this girl. Is she hot, like Mrs. Thechoson?
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 10:57:14 AM
Anyways, lying to a chick is like lying to God. You may be forgiven, or you may burn in hell.  Her call
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 10:59:34 AM
I'm in the same boat as you, bro. I'd have played it a little more cool, though. I would've told her the truth and said "to be honest, I haven't been in any other relationships because most of the women I've met haven't stood up to my standards"

so not only are you a virgin, but you're hard to get, too... women love that
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 11:01:38 AM
I'm in the same boat as you, bro. I'd have played it a little more cool, though. I would've told her the truth and said "to be honest, I haven't been in any other relationships because most of the women I've met haven't stood up to my standards"

so not only are you a virgin, but you're hard to get, too... women love that

I don't know, this sounds pretty damn f-ing conceited.  Anyways, any 21 year old guy that says he never dated cause ALL THE GIRLS he could have dated were not up to his standards, is a f-ing tool, and a girl will see through this.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 11:10:01 AM
i guess i'm a tool, then... most of the girl's i've met can't hold a conversation about anything meaningful. all they want to talk about is how much they hate school and how much they love to party. i hate that *&^%.

and the few decent girls you meet have various other mental and social problems that you come to discover about a week into the relationship.

I had a conversation about this with someone recently, actually, and her longest relationship had lasted 2 years... when she asked me, I said mine lasted 2 weeks. lol. i guess i'm a tool

I'm in the same boat as you, bro. I'd have played it a little more cool, though. I would've told her the truth and said "to be honest, I haven't been in any other relationships because most of the women I've met haven't stood up to my standards"

so not only are you a virgin, but you're hard to get, too... women love that

I don't know, this sounds pretty damn f-ing conceited.  Anyways, any 21 year old guy that says he never dated cause ALL THE GIRLS he could have dated were not up to his standards, is a f-ing tool, and a girl will see through this.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 11:13:52 AM
Ginatio, maybe you just aren't looking in the right places.  You are just finding these tool bitches.

Try girls that are really into SOMETHING, besides themselves.  Whether its studies, art, sex, sports, serial killing. Something.  You might have interesting conversations, and it might be a stepstone to a relationship that lasts longer than a menstrual cycle.  Also, are you one of those shallow dudes that just go for really hot chicks?  That might be it too. 
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 11:15:38 AM
Not really. I don't go for ugly girls, if that's what you mean. but they don't have to be supermodels or anything. Being an EE undergrad, I guess I never really had time to make a concerted search. I didn't really care cause I had better things to do, but I'm telling ya... there's some screwed up fish in the sea...

Ginatio, maybe you just aren't looking in the right places.  You are just finding these tool bitches.

Try girls that are really into SOMETHING, besides themselves.  Whether its studies, art, sex, sports, serial killing. Something.  You might have interesting conversations, and it might be a stepstone to a relationship that lasts longer than a menstrual cycle.  Also, are you one of those shallow dudes that just go for really hot chicks?  That might be it too. 
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 11:17:45 AM
judging by that picture, it seems like you ate one.  I don't know, I don't talk to girls often, but when I do, they are usually very cool. 
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 11:19:51 AM
oh, there's lots of cool ones, but the cool ones are never very attractive.

I have girls that are friends, but girlfriends? no. lol

Travel and Leisure magazine recently rated Philly as the city with the ugliest people in America, so you have to put my situation in context...

judging by that picture, it seems like you ate one.  I don't know, I don't talk to girls often, but when I do, they are usually very cool. 
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 11:21:52 AM
You go to Upenn?

I mean, would you rather go out with a shallow beautiful chick or an ugly one that interests you? Oh, neither, maybe that's why you are in your situation
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 11:32:29 AM
I go to Drexel. I go out with "ugly" chicks. I hate to call them that because they're friends... but yea.. not on a sexual level (aka "girlfriend" girlfriend), which is what i think newguy was getting at

You go to Upenn?

I mean, would you rather go out with a shallow beautiful chick or an ugly one that interests you? Oh, neither, maybe that's why you are in your situation
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ladyday on May 30, 2004, 11:39:15 AM
You mf's are funny as hell, are u serious?
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 11:41:08 AM
ummm... yea.. i mean... no?  :-[

You mf's are funny as hell, are u serious?
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ladyday on May 30, 2004, 11:48:51 AM
the banter between u too just makes me laugh. and referring to your own friends as ugly is just makes me shake my head.  from what you've said so far I think that you are being a little bit too picky, not saying anything against you, but you may find out that your dream woman is one of those "tool bitches" that you think is ugly.  now with that being said, I'm not saying date a woman that looks like a gorilla b/c b/c I wouldn't do that myself, but loosen your standards a little. 
Also, don't worry about it, soon you'll be working for me, and you'll be getting paid.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ladyday on May 30, 2004, 11:51:27 AM
ummm... yea.. i mean... no?  :-[

You mf's are funny as hell, are u serious?

oh good lord G, that pic may be the reason why.  :o
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 11:56:26 AM
This is my dream girl: http://www.hotornot.com/r/?emid=GRHMGS

oh where oh where could she be?

the banter between u too just makes me laugh. and referring to your own friends as ugly is just makes me shake my head.  from what you've said so far I think that you are being a little bit too picky, not saying anything against you, but you may find out that your dream woman is one of those "tool bitches" that you think is ugly.  now with that being said, I'm not saying date a woman that looks like a gorilla b/c b/c I wouldn't do that myself, but loosen your standards a little. 
Also, don't worry about it, soon you'll be working for me, and you'll be getting paid.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ladyday on May 30, 2004, 11:59:20 AM
LMFAO!

This is my dream girl: http://www.hotornot.com/r/?emid=GRHMGS

oh where oh where could she be?

the banter between u too just makes me laugh. and referring to your own friends as ugly is just makes me shake my head.  from what you've said so far I think that you are being a little bit too picky, not saying anything against you, but you may find out that your dream woman is one of those "tool bitches" that you think is ugly.  now with that being said, I'm not saying date a woman that looks like a gorilla b/c b/c I wouldn't do that myself, but loosen your standards a little. 
Also, don't worry about it, soon you'll be working for me, and you'll be getting paid.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 11:59:34 AM
This is my dream girl: http://www.hotornot.com/r/?emid=GRHMGS

oh where oh where could she be?

the banter between u too just makes me laugh. and referring to your own friends as ugly is just makes me shake my head.  from what you've said so far I think that you are being a little bit too picky, not saying anything against you, but you may find out that your dream woman is one of those "tool bitches" that you think is ugly.  now with that being said, I'm not saying date a woman that looks like a gorilla b/c b/c I wouldn't do that myself, but loosen your standards a little. 
Also, don't worry about it, soon you'll be working for me, and you'll be getting paid.

You fuckhead. I can't believe I fell for that again. And get rid of that avatar before somebody pukes
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 12:05:52 PM
LOL! Again, cho? i'm dissapointed in you.  :D

This is my dream girl: http://www.hotornot.com/r/?emid=GRHMGS

oh where oh where could she be?

the banter between u too just makes me laugh. and referring to your own friends as ugly is just makes me shake my head.  from what you've said so far I think that you are being a little bit too picky, not saying anything against you, but you may find out that your dream woman is one of those "tool bitches" that you think is ugly.  now with that being said, I'm not saying date a woman that looks like a gorilla b/c b/c I wouldn't do that myself, but loosen your standards a little. 
Also, don't worry about it, soon you'll be working for me, and you'll be getting paid.

You fuckhead. I can't believe I fell for that again. And get rid of that avatar before somebody pukes
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 12:13:39 PM
Mrs. thechoson is dissapointed in your, jackass.  She doesn't appreciate such painful sights.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 12:17:56 PM
But I bet you appreciate her even more now, eh?  ;)

Mrs. thechoson is dissapointed in your, jackass.  She doesn't appreciate such painful sights.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 12:19:17 PM
Yes.  Mrs. thechoson is always appreciated.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 12:29:18 PM
Anyways, the point I was making was not to be shallow.  Know your own limits.  If you are a f-ing ape, then don't be asking out Beyonce.  But don't think you can't go up to a girl and strike a conversation with her cause she's not what society defines as gorgeous. You do this, then all you are is a f-ing guy-stereotype tool.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 01:54:47 PM
Right. I strike up conversations with anyone and everyone. The point I was making, though, is that I would never consider them sexually unless they fit what *I* define as gorgeous.

Anyways, the point I was making was not to be shallow.  Know your own limits.  If you are a f-ing ape, then don't be asking out Beyonce.  But don't think you can't go up to a girl and strike a conversation with her cause she's not what society defines as gorgeous. You do this, then all you are is a f-ing guy-stereotype tool.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 02:03:19 PM
Right. I strike up conversations with anyone and everyone. The point I was making, though, is that I would never consider them sexually unless they fit what *I* define as gorgeous.

Anyways, the point I was making was not to be shallow.  Know your own limits.  If you are a f-ing ape, then don't be asking out Beyonce.  But don't think you can't go up to a girl and strike a conversation with her cause she's not what society defines as gorgeous. You do this, then all you are is a f-ing guy-stereotype tool.

why must you consider them sexually to have a relationship? Can't you just build to that stage after the emotional attachment?
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: bobfett33 on May 30, 2004, 02:47:18 PM
That's how meeting people on the internet works... you get an emotional and mental attachment before the physical one.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 02:49:01 PM
That's how meeting people on the internet works... you get an emotional and mental attachment before the physical one.

that sounds right.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Ginatio on May 30, 2004, 02:51:43 PM
Don't get me wrong, I have non-sexual relationships with lots of girls. But I'm not interested in letting the various friendships develop into sexual ones. Physical attraction plays a huge role in a sexual relationship. Don't take ccg for granted.  :D

why must you consider them sexually to have a relationship? Can't you just build to that stage after the emotional attachment?
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 02:52:48 PM
Don't get me wrong, I have non-sexual relationships with lots of girls. But I'm not interested in letting the various friendships develop into sexual ones. Physical attraction plays a huge role in a sexual relationship. Don't take ccg for granted.  :D

why must you consider them sexually to have a relationship? Can't you just build to that stage after the emotional attachment?

I am not allowed to have any attachments.  I've been turned into a motherfucking asexual.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: bobfett33 on May 30, 2004, 03:00:06 PM
not allowed to have any attachments - just like my mom's work e-mail.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thechoson on May 30, 2004, 03:01:24 PM
not allowed to have any attachments - just like my mom's work e-mail.

At least your mom's email gets to send and receive.
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: thinknpositive on May 30, 2004, 04:03:52 PM
I just can't have non-sexual relationships with girls.  I don't believe anyone truly can.

Like Chris Rock said, every girl is offered male private part everyday. Everytime a guy is nice to you, he is essentially offering you male private part.  It's just the way the world works.  No matter how hard I try to be just friends with a girl, I can't seem to ignore the fact that they are a girl.

Can I hold your coat? (how about some male private part?)
Do you need help with that? (how about some male private part?)

etc. 
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Burning Sands, Esq. on May 30, 2004, 05:04:42 PM
I just can't have non-sexual relationships with girls.  I don't believe anyone truly can.

Like Chris Rock said, every girl is offered male private part everyday. Everytime a guy is nice to you, he is essentially offering you male private part.  It's just the way the world works.  No matter how hard I try to be just friends with a girl, I can't seem to ignore the fact that they are a girl.

Can I hold your coat? (how about some male private part?)
Do you need help with that? (how about some male private part?)

etc. 


Amen.  This is a true fact of life. Men don't have female "friends".  We just have women we haven't screwed YET.  The wise woman knows this, accepts it, and deals with it accordingly.  The naive woman says "NO, we're just friends, he doesn't even see me like that".  Chick, please.  If he could he'd bend your ass over right now...

But getting back on topic (which seems to be very difficult for this group - I've never seen so many A.D.D. lawyers in all my life) You wanted to know if it was a good idea to have lied to your girlfriend about your past.

The answer is NO.  Come clean.  If you start the foundation off on lies it will crumble after too long.  Just put it out there.  If you have to lie to be with somebody then they're not worth you being with in the first place.  And its not like you have anything to hide anyway.  You could, as Ginatio said, just not have found the right woman yet that you would like to settle down and make the girlfriend.  Perfectly normal.  I'm 27 and I've  only had 3 girlfriends in my life - again to quote fellow engineer Ginatio - I've only had the opportunity to come across 3 women in my lifetime of dating who were actually worth my time to become serious with.  Not saying I'm anything special but you have to consider the fact that you can't just make anybody that happens to come along your girlfriend.  They don't have to be perfect, they just have to be perfect FOR YOU.

Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: Dante Hicks on May 30, 2004, 06:45:44 PM
My first encounter was with Fistina I think.  BTW..if you lie off the bat about small stuff imagine whatchoo will lie about later.  Also..NEVER EVER NEVER EVER cheat.  You WILL get busted!!  Maybe not now but like 10 years later when you bump into each other and fumble for words (Uh..duh...uh...).

 ;D
Title: Re: Lied to a girl about previous relationships....good idea (for my situation)?
Post by: nola8688 on June 01, 2004, 11:07:04 PM
not allowed to have any attachments - just like my mom's work e-mail.

At least your mom's email gets to send and receive.

Funny Chosen, but I have a question for you.

You have said before how much you love your lady, how you would either give or take a bullet before another man gave it to her etc. But if you guys aren't sexually compatible (ie. she wants to get down once a month, while you have NORMAL sexual needs) then how the hell is this going to work for you two? You need BOTH the emotional and physical to have a relationship that works.


And for the original poster... just tell her before it is too late.  Unless you just want some booty and donít give a fuk, but that is between you and your scruples.