Law School Discussion
Law Students => Current Law Students => Topic started by: kmpnj on September 07, 2006, 10:36:43 AM
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I'll start with this pearl of wisdom from some idiot in my property class:
"Racism really doesn't exist anymore."
Please feel free to add on as it might provide a laugh.
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From contracts class (Feige v. Boehm case)
Student: "A woman could have sex with 10,000 men and enter into contracts with all of them in good faith, it's like earthquake insurance"
Professor: "...It's not physically possible to have sex with 10,000 different men in that span of time"
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Ranson v. Kitner
Prof. : "What was the offensive contact on the dog?"
Student: "You mean other than the bullet?"
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(can't remember the case name; it was the one where the sailors were adrift in a lifeboat and they killed and ate one guy)
Prof: do you think killing and eating the boy was justified?
student: did they cook him?
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The past two coments actually sound fairly witty...
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How about this... Torts.
A girl's cell phone rings in class.
Prawf: I don't believe it. No cell phones in class. Turn them off.
One minute later, same girl's cell phone rings in class.
Prawf: I can't believe it!!! <Turns to the girl> What is that? Is that your cell phone?
Girl: No. It's my Blackberry.
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(can't remember the case name; it was the one where the sailors were adrift in a lifeboat and they killed and ate one guy)
Prof: do you think killing and eating the boy was justified?
student: did they cook him?
Regina v. Dudley and Stevens. I actually thought about that aspect of the case, too. Ewwwww.
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Check out
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
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Criminy, where do I begin.
"So...why do we even have a Constitution?"
"I don't understand what due process has to do with personal jurisdiction?"
"I think there should be separate accomodations for people with disabilities."
That's just to start. I don't want to even get into the ridiculous garbage spewed our by our section gunners thus far.
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Regina v. Dudley and Stevens. I actually thought about that aspect of the case, too. Ewwwww.
ding! that's right.
on further reflection, the comment is a bit witty, but i suspect it wasn't intended that way.
just wait until you get to Brown v. Board in Con Law, and your prof asks if, legally speaking, you think it was correctly decided. can open, worms everywhere. much ruffling of feathers.
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(can't remember the case name; it was the one where the sailors were adrift in a lifeboat and they killed and ate one guy)
Prof: do you think killing and eating the boy was justified?
student: did they cook him?
ROFLMFAO! That is the funniest *&^%! :p
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Property I
Professor: So, in dealing with the open and hostile requirement and the running of the statute of limitations in this case, the Plaintiffs were frightened to confront their relative, and instead chose to await his death before staking a claim to the farm.
Student A: Wouldn't waiting be justified in this case, perhaps tolling the S.O.L.?
Professor: Not necessarily, and in this case, the court decided not.
Student B (overtly gay): That's screwed up!
Professor: thank you for your candid opinion, Student B. Perhaps you would confront your own parents then in such a situation?
Student B: Oh, no...
Professor: no? why not?
Student B: Oh, they're just dirty, dirty people!
;)
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Torts - can't remember the case name
student: "The key to this false imprisonment case is how long it took P to figure out they were being held captive"
prof: "That's irrelevent to this case since P became aware at some point while she was still captive, and then had to
find a way to escape captivity"
student: "No, the main point is still how long it took her to realize she was being held."
... At this point the professor looked like he wanted to kill the guy
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Torts
Prof: Not many people outside of proseesional sports consent to getting beat up
Student: Excuse me, have you seen jackass?
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Discussion of Alabama Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress case where Sears customer service employee said to coworker (while customer is on phone and can hear him), "this guy is more queer than a 3 dollar bill"
Professor: what is the tort here?
Student: Being gay in Alabama
Not gunner-esque, but hilarious
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Here's a good one....
In Torts Class:
Girl raises her hand: "This may sound stupid, but one of my friends told me that Illinois is getting rid of common law"
Professor: "Remember when we were talking about half full and full cups...well, your friend's cup is full all right...full of you know what"
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Prof: Is that a commercial outline you are reading from?
Student: Yes
Prof: How's that working out for you?
http://www.cafepress.com/lawthug (http://www.cafepress.com/lawthug)
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(in response to Fisher, where it was held that grabbing a plate out of somebody's hands was sufficient contact for battery)
Student: "What if two people were having a tug-of-war with a rope stretched over a pit . . .
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Not dumb, and not 1L, but worthy of a post:
Corporations Prof - "and here we see a good policy situation for the ol' Learned Hand Job."
It has already become legendary.
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Con Law class:
Discussing brown v. board:
student A: I dont think that we needed it, we could have done better than everyone if we were all seperated on different islands
Student B: yea bc you conquered so much throughout history...
Professor: shut it, both of you, that will be decided on survivor this week
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All in Crim Law
Prof: Why do you think that she was charged with aggravated child abuse, and not murder?
Student: Maybe they felt bad for her because of her status.
Prof: And what status would that be?
Student: She's just stupid.
Prof: What if a man put a bomb on a plane to kill his worst enemy. He only wanted to kill the one person. The plan worked, but everyone on the plane died. What should he be charged with for the killing of the others on the plane?
Student: Would it make a difference if it was Snakes on a Plane?
Prof: How would you like it if the police showed up at your house and put you in handcuffs
Student: Well, that might be fun
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At the end of a Contracts class, "You know, I just Shepardized this case and there have been a LOT of cases that cite to it."
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Property I
Prof: So does anyone have any questions about what I just said.
Gunner: Wait now just let me get this straight I know this was already said and it's written on the board, but the elements to adverse possession are....... (and then preceeds to read word for word exactly what is written on the board)
OR
Would I still be open and notorious if I snuck in and out of the land every time I had to leave and while I was one the land I lived in cave that was underground, trying to hide myself from the true land owner and then for the last year I put a little flag above ground then filed the claim for all my time on the land on a adverse possession claim.
These comments were said by the same person, in the same class.
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My favorite though is the first day of 1L orientation, the prof running our little what is the constitution class says, so does anyone have any questions?
response:
"Someone was telling me that the bar exam is really hard. Is the true how hard is the bar exam?"
professor:
How about you just worry about getting through your first week of law school, you'll have plenty of time to worry about the bar exam in a few years.
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Not dumb, and not 1L, but worthy of a post:
Corporations Prof - "and here we see a good policy situation for the ol' Learned Hand Job."
It has already become legendary.
Out-F'ing-Standing
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Talking about intentional infliction of emotional distress in class, the prof. posed a hypothetical about a black woman walking into a hair salon and being told they don't "do black hair."
Student A: Well, what if they really don't know how to do black hair?
Student B: Yeah, that's like taking a Volkswagon into a BMW dealership.
Class: Stunned silence
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lemme guess - you go to law school in alabama?
Talking about intentional infliction of emotional distress in class, the prof. posed a hypothetical about a black woman walking into a hair salon and being told they don't "do black hair."
Student A: Well, what if they really don't know how to do black hair?
Student B: Yeah, that's like taking a Volkswagon into a BMW dealership.
Class: Stunned silence
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Property (doing an IP section at the end of the semester), discussing celebrities right to publicity.
Professor: are there any good societal impacts from celebrity publicity?
StudentA: it encourages others to pursue celebrity themselves, earning money which passes to their heirs.
ME: Wait, why is that good?
StudentA: because it puts money into the economy and society.
ME: It also puts Paris Hilton into society. You want to encourage that?
I had fun with that one. lol
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Good guess. But, no, actually I go to school in Ohio.
lemme guess - you go to law school in alabama?
Talking about intentional infliction of emotional distress in class, the prof. posed a hypothetical about a black woman walking into a hair salon and being told they don't "do black hair."
Student A: Well, what if they really don't know how to do black hair?
Student B: Yeah, that's like taking a Volkswagon into a BMW dealership.
Class: Stunned silence
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Talking about intentional infliction of emotional distress in class, the prof. posed a hypothetical about a black woman walking into a hair salon and being told they don't "do black hair."
Student A: Well, what if they really don't know how to do black hair?
Student B: Yeah, that's like taking a Volkswagon into a BMW dealership.
Class: Stunned silence
They have a point.
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Where in Ohio? This wasn't at C-M, was it?
That would NOT go over well in my classes :)
Good guess. But, no, actually I go to school in Ohio.
Quote from: T. Durden on December 15, 2006, 05:46:34 PM
lemme guess - you go to law school in alabama?
Quote from: LL0110 on December 15, 2006, 05:15:23 PM
Talking about intentional infliction of emotional distress in class, the prof. posed a hypothetical about a black woman walking into a hair salon and being told they don't "do black hair."
Student A: Well, what if they really don't know how to do black hair?
Student B: Yeah, that's like taking a Volkswagon into a BMW dealership.
Class: Stunned silence
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First day of class after roll call, professor asks if there are any questions. A very young girl in back of room asks if we could start class a half hour later because she can;t get up that early...Dead silence in the room before we all rolled on the floor laughing...She looked shocked that we were laughing at her....She didn;t make it throught the first semester... DUH!!!
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Legal Writing Professor: "What do you think about that sentence?"
That Guy: "I like it...except for all the words."
a few days later...
Contracts Professor finishes explaining a doctrine
That Guy: "Professor, your analogy is poor..."
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We're discussing a case about a car collision that happened in the rain in the dead of night, so few of the witnesses can tell which car swerved first. The guy in class says the "midnight sun" illuminates the highway.
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Early in the semester, we had problems in our section with the same two or three people answering nearly every question. One prof tried to address the problem.
Prof: Does anyone know what a gunner is?
Gunner: (Nearly jumping out of seat with hand up) Ooh! Ooh!
Everyone else: Silence.
Prof: (pointing at gunner and rolling eyes) Yes?
Gunner: It's someone who tries to answer all the questions.
I don't think she ever understood the irony.
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Early in the semester, we had problems in our section with the same two or three people answering nearly every question. One prof tried to address the problem.
Prof: Does anyone know what a gunner is?
Gunner: (Nearly jumping out of seat with hand up) Ooh! Ooh!
Everyone else: Silence.
Prof: (pointing at gunner and rolling eyes) Yes?
Gunner: It's someone who tries to answer all the questions.
I don't think she ever understood the irony.
Our K's gunner jumped out of his seat when the prof asked what "officious" meant.
"Ooh! Marked by excessive eagerness in offering unwanted services or advice to others!"
He didn't get the irony either.
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Going over (bad memory) a case where a husband throws a lamp at his wife causing her to catch fire and burn to death.
Classmate: So, I don't get why this is murder.. did she die?
Prof: Yes. She died.
Classmate: Are you sure? I don't remember that...
Oy.
<bangs head on desk>