Law School Discussion

Law Students => Current Law Students => Topic started by: byebyeny on November 28, 2011, 05:14:28 PM

Title: Feeling so depressed...
Post by: byebyeny on November 28, 2011, 05:14:28 PM
Hi all,

I've been feeling so depressed for the past year... I am a 2L. I am not so sure what is causing the depression, it could be schoolwork, or maybe because Im super lonley because Im away from my family and barely have any friends... I do know some people at school, but I don't really talk to them much. Some are just annoying. If they are nice, I avoid them anyways because I don't want to get too close to them. The materials I learn don't seem too bad, I understand most of the concepts fairly well, my grades are mediocre.

It's so strange because I have so many obssessive thoughts, like I think about what happened in the past over and over again. Like the girl I broke up with, some people who did bad things to me, or sometimes I feel super guilty because I feel like Im so self-centered. sometimes I get super angry and punch the wall and yell. I seem to think a lot about how there is no purpose in doing anything, like what I am gonna do if I get a law degree, like I literally have no plans or goals, I just want to finish law school and stay sane.

I sometimes can't sleep or wake up after sleeping like 3 hours. I remember playing lots of video games and sports as an undergrad, I now realize how fun those days were. Nowadays, even if i have time to do such things, I don't really enjoy it. Im like whatever...

I also have trust issues, probably got a lot worse since i got here. I cant seem to trust anybody. Like when someone approaches me, i feel like they are going to take advantage of me or something. I do think it's irrational for me to think this way, but thats just how i feel, what can I do.

Anyone has similar stories or how they overcame depression? or is this really depression? Do people start to feel better after they finish law school? maybe take a leave of absence? actually start earning money?

I really appreciate your kindness... thank you
Title: Re: Feeling so depressed...
Post by: FalconJimmy on November 28, 2011, 06:15:51 PM
If they are nice, I avoid them anyways because I don't want to get too close to them.

How does this make sense?  If they're nice you should want to get close to them.  Nice people = good friends = better quality of life.

Sounds like you might be sufferring from depression.  Especially if you just lost a g/f.  I remember getting pretty low after a couple of bad breakups when I was younger.  It happens. 

I wish I knew the cure for depression.  I probably handled my low periods badly:  just generally moping and wallowing and being a total PITA to everybody around me.  I was lucky:  I had great friends who stood by me through it all.

I might recommend you see if there are any counselling services available through your school.  Depression is an actual disorder, just like a physical sickness.  Some people recover on their own.  Others need help.  In most cases, best not to just take it for granted that you'll recover on your own.  You might.  You might just get more depressed.

Law school is stressful.  Being away from family is stressful.  being away from your old friends is stressful.  Losing a girlfriend is stressful.  Sounds like you have a natural reaction to a lot of stressful situations.  See if counselling might help.  Who knows.  Or, after finals, get home to your family and try to set up a social network when you get back.

Wish I had real answers on this.  Just hang in there.  You'll ge tthrough this.
Title: Re: Feeling so depressed...
Post by: aglittman on November 28, 2011, 08:43:39 PM
I think every school in the country offers (free) counseling services, so I would go talk to a professional.  Unfortunetely, I doubt anyone on this site is qualified to help you with your complex psychological issue.  Hope everything works out for you 
Title: Re: Feeling so depressed...
Post by: byebyeny on November 29, 2011, 01:06:51 AM
Thanks for your kind words guys.

Falcon: I think you are right about stressful events adding up. I remember way back in high school when I broke up with my first girlfriend things were pretty tough. But then I think I recovered in just few months. This time, it's taking me more than a year to get over a girl, and that's probably because I have much more stress in general (law school, feeling disappointed about my grades, fighting with my family members, losing most of my college friends due to distance). You didn't have an answer, but your words help a lot. Thank you.

Bigs: If I may ask, was it only your first semester of 2nd year? I started having depression only few weeks after the school started. Sure, I liked learning
about the law for the first time, and I still do like studying sometimes, but I just started feeling like Im totally worthless and wanted to kill myself for causing all the hardships for my family and friends. My self-esteem went up after I got ok grades and that reassured me that I probably will graduate if I hang on, but my obssessive thoughts have gotten worse since 2nd year started. From your experience, did it completely go away after your 2nd year? Was it like slowly getting better or just a single event that made it go away? Im thinking maybe if I get the diploma, it will completely go away. I don't know. Thanks for sharing though. I wish I could hear more. but and I also agree that I should just hang on, I invested too much into this.

Aglittman: Thanks for your advice. I actually visited my doctor but I personally did not want to take any of the anti-depressants. I always has been a substance free person and don't believe in strong medications like that unless it's an absolute emergency. I've tried to cure the depression in a natural way, by alternating my diet and exercising vigorously. (In fact, the first month of this semster, I barely studied, but went to the gym every single day just so that I will be physically exhausted so that I can sleep at night).

Thanks again guys. Any more personal stories/advice are welcome.
Title: Re: Feeling so depressed...
Post by: LincolnLover on December 01, 2011, 10:06:00 AM
I don't think these are limited to just law students. It sounds like a lot more involved than just law school issues too.

Have you looked into if your insurance covers talking to a counsler outside of school? If so, I'd consider it.

Talking online helps, but licensed professionals have a lot more training than the rest of us.