Law School Discussion

a mom of three attending law school

a mom of three attending law school
« on: June 19, 2004, 05:41:53 PM »
I am a mom of three...but before you frown, I should tell you that law school was in the plan before I had all three.  In fact, I had put down deposits to go before the babies came.  I used those same stats to apply this year, and got into the same range schools (T2-T3) for part-time mostly.
Am I crazy?  I really feel driven to do this, but I do want to know that it's possible without putting my sanity and marriage/family on the line.
Any advice is welcome.  Positive or negative. Thanks.

Re: a mom of three attending law school
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2004, 06:54:07 PM »
This is a good board to ask this question and I'm sure a lot of non-traditionals will reply. But, in addition, there is a forum founded primarily for non-trad's like yourself. It's a pretty good message board, used to check it out a lot. It's at http://www.nontradlaw.com Hope that helps.

stt

Re: a mom of three attending law school
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2004, 07:03:25 PM »
I am a mom of three...but before you frown, I should tell you that law school was in the plan before I had all three.  In fact, I had put down deposits to go before the babies came.  I used those same stats to apply this year, and got into the same range schools (T2-T3) for part-time mostly.
Am I crazy?  I really feel driven to do this, but I do want to know that it's possible without putting my sanity and marriage/family on the line.
Any advice is welcome.  Positive or negative. Thanks.

My mother raised three young boys as a single mother while working full-time for the army and attending classes to obtain her MBA.  I, in particular, was a real brat and a handful all by myself.  She had a kind neighbor who would allow me and my brothers to go to her house after school and remain with her until my mother got home from work.  It worked that way until I hit the 5th grade, whereupon she relied upon me to make sure my brothers got home okay from school and didn't burn the joint down before her home arrivals in the evening.

Things got better after she obtained her degree, began to excel in her career, and later met a man with whom she shared over 10 years of marriage, until her recent divorce.  I look back at times and feel ashamed that I didn't have the maturity to have taken more selfless action to make her life easier and even more enjoyable.  But to this day I have very clear and fond memories dating back to before I was old enough to go to school.  All the kids turned out okay, imho.  Your thing definitely sounds challenging, but the answer as to whether or not you can do it seems to only rely on a lot of planning and dedicated research.  Very detailed budgeting of time and financial resources.  My time in law school belongs only to me with the exception of phone calls and such with close friends and family.  But I've budgeted my monthly expenses for the next three years down the meals and laundry.  You've got 3 more factors than I have to consider, so I imagine your task will be a bit more complex.  Microsoft Excel can do a lot to serve your agenda, here.  Best wishes and good luck!

egfmba

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Re: a mom of three attending law school
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2004, 07:13:45 PM »
As a parent, I say go for it.  No, I don't have three (just one so far), but my one was born while I was in b-school and there's no visible damage for it!   ;D

Seriously, I just read that the biggest predictor of a child's success in school is the mom's educational level, so go for it!  There is nothing better than being able to show your kids that if they want it, it's possible.  It's also great to know that no matter what life brings you, you'll be able to provide for those 3 darlings.  Beyond that, having completed something as challenging as ls will be a huge boost to your self confidence when it comes to dealing with every other aspect of your life, so, all other things permitting, take the leap!

 :) :) :)

calguy815

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Re: a mom of three attending law school
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2004, 07:59:45 PM »
My mom went to law school and just graduated last year at the age of 50.  My family moved to the United States 17 years ago and at that point, my mom gave up her law career to become a housewife and raise my brother and me (I was 7 at the time; my brother was 9).  Since her degrees from our country was non-tranferable, she had to start her education over.  She went back to college while we were in high school and got a degree in psychology, then enrolled in law school a year later.  She went to what many here would consider a TTT, but it was tough nonetheless.  She constantly tells me that although she understands the law (she used to be a lawyer, after all), she has a very difficult time translating it into English when taking her exams.  She is currently studying for the Bar Exam, which she will be taking next year.

The point is, NO, you are not crazy.  With determination and hard work, you can definitely get through it.  And hopefully, you have a husband and kids who are supportive and will help you through it (which, most of the time, means just leaving you completely alone to study).  It will be difficult and take up all your time, but it is possible.  Good luck to you.

freshstart

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Re: a mom of three attending law school
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2004, 06:30:17 PM »
If you are crazy, then so am I.  I have only one child, but like you, I was set to go to law school before she came along.  I had always wanted to go to law school, but the timing was never right with family circumstances.  Right after I took the LSAT, I got pregnant, and after much thought decided to turn down a full ride offer to a Tier 3 to stay home with the baby (who would have been only 6 weeks old when school started).  She is now 2, and my husband will be staying home with her while I attend school full time. 

When I was contemplating whether or not I should attend school (after the baby), two things stood out.  A friend told me that the family will function much better if I am happy and fulfilled (what is good for me is good for the family).  The other was that it sets a good example for my daughter.

jacy85

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Re: a mom of three attending law school
« Reply #6 on: June 25, 2004, 09:59:40 AM »
I'd say that if you have a great support network, go for it.  However, I'd like to point out something that stood out for me reading stt's post.  They say they feel guilty that they didn't take more responsibility when they were younger.

This, I think, is a prime example of why you should be very careful in not putting your 3 kids in this kind of position.  I'm glad stt's feels so well adjusted, and has many fond memories of when they were a child.  But feeling guility isn't right, and if I were a parent, i would want to make sure my children never felt guilty.  A lot of kids go through this, especially those from single partent families, and there is usually no choice.  But deciding to go to ls *is* a choice, and one you can prepare for before taking the plunge.

I hope stt doesn't take offense to this.  I have much respect that your mom was able to do so much in her life and raise children that are thankful and loving.  I hope you can stop feeling guilty, however, since whatever help you gave your mom I'm sure she appreciated, and know that you weren't mature enough then to do all you think you could have now, looking back in hind sight.

Anyways, Momo3, good luck!


I am a mom of three...but before you frown, I should tell you that law school was in the plan before I had all three.  In fact, I had put down deposits to go before the babies came.  I used those same stats to apply this year, and got into the same range schools (T2-T3) for part-time mostly.
Am I crazy?  I really feel driven to do this, but I do want to know that it's possible without putting my sanity and marriage/family on the line.
Any advice is welcome.  Positive or negative. Thanks.

My mother raised three young boys as a single mother while working full-time for the army and attending classes to obtain her MBA.  I, in particular, was a real brat and a handful all by myself.  She had a kind neighbor who would allow me and my brothers to go to her house after school and remain with her until my mother got home from work.  It worked that way until I hit the 5th grade, whereupon she relied upon me to make sure my brothers got home okay from school and didn't burn the joint down before her home arrivals in the evening.

Things got better after she obtained her degree, began to excel in her career, and later met a man with whom she shared over 10 years of marriage, until her recent divorce.  I look back at times and feel ashamed that I didn't have the maturity to have taken more selfless action to make her life easier and even more enjoyable.  But to this day I have very clear and fond memories dating back to before I was old enough to go to school.  All the kids turned out okay, imho.  Your thing definitely sounds challenging, but the answer as to whether or not you can do it seems to only rely on a lot of planning and dedicated research.  Very detailed budgeting of time and financial resources.  My time in law school belongs only to me with the exception of phone calls and such with close friends and family.  But I've budgeted my monthly expenses for the next three years down the meals and laundry.  You've got 3 more factors than I have to consider, so I imagine your task will be a bit more complex.  Microsoft Excel can do a lot to serve your agenda, here.  Best wishes and good luck!

sarahz

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Re: a mom of three attending law school
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2004, 10:32:30 AM »
okay, So i'm writing this with good, non-insulting intentions so please dont get angry!

I am 23, with no children but have known plenty of non-traditional students through my UG major and i have a few things to say that i think people tend to forget about as they begin school again...

In my experience something that occurs on a regular basis is non-trad. students using the excuse of their children being sick or soccer games or whatever for not getting work done.  Now i know that these things happen but i also know that when i get sick there is no way profs. let me off the hook.  By going back to school you are accepting the same responsibilities as all other students and it is very insulting as a trad-student when parents get special treatment.

Also, please dont use any phrase that starts with, "when i was your age" or "when you get older you'll..."  its something that happens, i feel, without thinking (and when i've spoken to people about it, it wasnt intentional and the people stopped).  Its hard as a younger student because, for example, I dont consider older students to be anything less then an equal-we all have the same stats that got us into law school so dont forget to treat everyone the same (this tends to happen with parents that have older children the most).

Most of all make sure to call younger students on their behavior if they are acting rude or snide, because that happens all the time too.  Students can be very cliquish on first appearance but some of my best friends as an undergrad were over 35 with kids and you do have insight that many of the rest of us dont, just be careful how you go about using it!

jgruber

Re: a mom of three attending law school
« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2004, 10:52:09 AM »
It can be done.  I've taken more college classes as a father than before I became a father.  I'm scheduled to start night law school in August.

But do your best to make time for the kids and let them know that they are still important to you, and that they are part of the reason you are going to school.