Law School Discussion

Off-Topic Area => General Off-Topic Board => Topic started by: Julie Fern on June 22, 2012, 12:19:10 PM

Title: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on June 22, 2012, 12:19:10 PM
NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING,  AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING).

     As those of you with even a modicum of intelligence should know, Julie is the Dean of the Caribbean-based Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies.  From time to time, she has made herself available for silly persons such as yourself to endeavor to ask her questions about her school.

     Because this site currently can't be any more dull, frankly, Dean Julie is, once again, willing to take inquiries from anyone who's not a Republican.

     Good luck to you all....

                         Dean Julie
                         Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
                         Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Cher1300 on June 22, 2012, 03:14:51 PM
Independent ok?
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: legend on June 22, 2012, 05:27:12 PM
What scholarship packages do you offer?

More importantly have you accounted for every single graduates employment status, and has every single one started making 100k immediately upon graduation? 

Has any graduate ever been rejected after going into interview? Or not gotten a call-back after sending in an application? If that happened Julie's law school should get sued!
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on June 23, 2012, 06:46:31 AM
Independent ok?

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISATER, MARCIA PENDING).

     Whotsamotta U. certainly expects independence from its students--in particular, independence from attempts to make finely-honed interpretations of the law.  We prefer that you stick to basics.

                       Dean Julie
                       Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
                       Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on June 23, 2012, 06:54:39 AM
What scholarship packages do you offer?

More importantly have you accounted for every single graduates employment status, and has every single one started making 100k immediately upon graduation? 

Has any graduate ever been rejected after going into interview? Or not gotten a call-back after sending in an application? If that happened Julie's law school should get sued!

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX-4000L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING).

     We offer no scholarship packages whatsoever, as any applicant with a brain larger than a hamster recognizes what a good deal we offer.  Our costs still will be well below any other three-year vacation that you might imagine taking.

     We know exactly where our graduates end up, which tends to be substance abuse programs.

     None of our applicants ever has been rejected because none of them ever apply for jobs.  Rather, they simply slide into an associate's position at Mommy or Daddy's law firm.  And no one ever could litigate against us anyway, as it's very difficult to obtain jurisdiction over our floating Carribean campus.  Today it's Martinique, but tomorrow it's St. Kitt's.  (We also regard the word "sue" to be vulgar and encourage everyone to avoid it.)

                        Dean Julie
                        Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
                        Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: legend on June 23, 2012, 01:44:58 PM
Quite a sales pitch, but are these substance abuse programs top 100 or not? Also what substances are they doing in most recent U.S. News rankings the top 10 addictive drugs were.

1. Bath salts
2. Meth
3. Crank
4. Crack
5. Heroin
6. LSD
7. Acid
8. Booze
9. Shrooms
10. PCP

I certainly don't want to end up in a tier 3/4 substance abuse program with some weak addiction to pot or something at graduation. I want to make sure that all Whotsamotta grads are working in jobs that require some kind of parole/condition rehabilitation program for re-entry into society. If your grads are not working in official substance abuse programs you need to disclose that remember you are personally responsible for the severity of each student's addiction and they play no part in their own substance abuse success stories.

Potential Applicant to Whotsamotta
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: NiceOne on June 23, 2012, 02:04:25 PM
Save your money. Get a dog. Name it Sue.
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on June 24, 2012, 06:39:27 AM
Quite a sales pitch, but are these substance abuse programs top 100 or not? Also what substances are they doing in most recent U.S. News rankings the top 10 addictive drugs were.

1. Bath salts
2. Meth
3. Crank
4. Crack
5. Heroin
6. LSD
7. Acid
8. Booze
9. Shrooms
10. PCP

I certainly don't want to end up in a tier 3/4 substance abuse program with some weak addiction to pot or something at graduation. I want to make sure that all Whotsamotta grads are working in jobs that require some kind of parole/condition rehabilitation program for re-entry into society. If your grads are not working in official substance abuse programs you need to disclose that remember you are personally responsible for the severity of each student's addiction and they play no part in their own substance abuse success stories.

Potential Applicant to Whotsamotta

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING)

          Dean Julie is afraid that your naivite shows in many ways, Li'l Grasshopper.  LSD and acid are the same substance by different names.  Neither that drug nor the mushrooms--presumed to be psilocybin--ever have landed anyone in a rehab program.  On the bright side, your lack of research bodes well for your application to Whotsamotta U., I must say.

          You're also under the endearing misimpression that our graduates don't find gainful employment in the law but, rather, in substance abuse programs, and even then only after criminal prosecution.  Not to put too fine a point it, but this is silly.  Our graduates go into "country club" programs that are so exclusive that U.S . News and World Report doesn't even know about them.  Yes, our graduates abuse substances, but they are all sorts of substances;  we're very big on diversity at Whotsamotta U.   But then they dry out like ordinary rich people and, as already mentioned, join Mommy or Daddy's firm.  Their intensive training in substance abuse helps them to pass the many long hours from 10-2 (don't forget the lunch hour!) known as "work."  Really, it's quite like being Mitt Romney (coke and meth, by the way).

     Please do apply to Whotsamotta...and don;t forget your $20,000 application fee!

                  Dean Julie
                 Whotsamotta School of Law and Leisure Studies
                 Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea.
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: kellykinn on June 24, 2012, 09:28:52 AM
What's happened to this forum? I remember coming here in 2008 when I was in undergrad and it was bumpin. Now? Julie is right, it can't get any more dull.

Julie, how did this happen?
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on June 24, 2012, 10:30:52 AM
Save your money. Get a dog. Name it Sue.

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX-4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING)

     Dean Julie cannot help but note that your meaning is absolutely unclear.  Thus, you would appear to be an excellent candidate for admission to Whotsamotta U.   Remember:  your check is the only application form you need!

              Dean Julie
              Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
              Somewhere in  the Caribbean Sea
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on June 24, 2012, 10:33:35 AM
What's happened to this forum? I remember coming here in 2008 when I was in undergrad and it was bumpin. Now? Julie is right, it can't get any more dull.

Julie, how did this happen?

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING)

          Kelly, it was Republicans, I'm afraid.  They screw up everything, and have done so here as well.  We only can wonder what horrible fate will occur for LSD should they take over the entire government.

                Dean Julie
                Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
                Somewhere in the Caribbean
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: kellykinn on June 24, 2012, 10:49:36 AM
Republicans? Julie you're the Queen here. I can tell and I've seen you out maneuver them. I don't see too much banter of any kind at all. You scare off all the Republicans? Maybe what LSD needs is more Republicans- Just a thought.

The Republicans won't take over the government. Obama's rope a dope strategy is pathetically effective. And they keep falling for it, over and over. Obama is smarter than what he's doing, but he probably knows he doesn't need to be.
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on June 27, 2012, 05:06:13 AM
Republicans? Julie you're the Queen here. I can tell and I've seen you out maneuver them. I don't see too much banter of any kind at all. You scare off all the Republicans? Maybe what LSD needs is more Republicans- Just a thought.

The Republicans won't take over the government. Obama's rope a dope strategy is pathetically effective. And they keep falling for it, over and over. Obama is smarter than what he's doing, but he probably knows he doesn't need to be.

regular julie answer this because not about whotsamotta u.

nothing need more republicans.
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: HolmesBoy on June 27, 2012, 10:42:09 AM
Many people in the legal profession complain that traditional law schools do not teach students practical lawyering skills.

How are Whotsamotta U's clinical programs?
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: kellykinn on June 28, 2012, 08:25:14 AM
Not trying to be a hater, but the hiring attorney at my firm even said that applicants that say- "my school is better, didn't teach theory but practical lawyering skills" was a red flag meaning they went to a crap school and are not going to be hired.  His words, not mine. I was just a paralegal, but all the attorneys vented to me for some reason. That one conversation taught me to never use that phrase and now to never go to a school that uses that phrase. Online schools use that phrase.

I hope Whotsamotta teaches theory rather than "practical lawyering skills" so grads can get a frickin job.
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on June 28, 2012, 11:52:03 AM
Many people in the legal profession complain that traditional law schools do not teach students practical lawyering skills.

How are Whotsamotta U's clinical programs?

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING)


     Dear Boy, what a thoughtful and insightful question.  Whotasamotta has loads of clinical programs.  For example, one of the most popular is our Mixed Drink Clinic, in which you can both learn to bartend and get plenty of free booze.  Try to get that in some measly poverty law clinic!

     Also popular are our Prostitution, Marital Infidelity, Voyeurism, Pornography, and Oral Sex Clinics.  Note to mention our Hallucenogenics, Downers, and Cannabis Clinics!  In fact, we allow our students to create any clinic they want, so long as the faculty doesn't have to do any work.

     Remember:  your check is the only application form you need!

              Dean Julie
              Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
              Somewhere in  the Caribbean Sea
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on June 28, 2012, 11:56:19 AM
Not trying to be a hater, but the hiring attorney at my firm even said that applicants that say- "my school is better, didn't teach theory but practical lawyering skills" was a red flag meaning they went to a crap school and are not going to be hired.  His words, not mine. I was just a paralegal, but all the attorneys vented to me for some reason. That one conversation taught me to never use that phrase and now to never go to a school that uses that phrase. Online schools use that phrase.

I hope Whotsamotta teaches theory rather than "practical lawyering skills" so grads can get a frickin job.

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING)

     We are the epitome of a theoretical curriculum.  Our basic philosophy is that all work is only theoretical--hence, the critical Leisure Studies aspect of what we do.

     That hiring partner you mentioned probably couldn't mix a drink, produce an orgasm by an associate,  or roll a doob if his life depended on it.  It's truly sad to what American higher education has come, isn't it?

              Dean Julie
              Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
              Somewhere in  the Caribbean Sea


Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: oiuiuko on July 17, 2012, 09:19:27 PM
The Julie-izer machine has a LONG way to go...
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on July 18, 2012, 01:18:56 PM
The Julie-izer machine has a LONG way to go...

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING)

     Meaning? 

              Dean Julie
              Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
              Somewhere in  the Caribbean Sea

Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Nathaniel on July 26, 2012, 11:03:46 AM
I voted for Obama in 2008!
Title: Re: Dean Julie takes your stupid questions about law school
Post by: Julie Fern on August 01, 2012, 12:16:47 PM
I voted for Obama in 2008!

NOTICE:  THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN TRANSLATED INTO REGULAR ENGLISH BY THE JULIE-IZER GRX 4000-L 1/2 (PAT PENDING, AS WELL AS HIS SISTER, MARCIA PENDING)

     Well, that certainly qualifies as the stupid sort of "question" for which this thread was intended.   Although one can't question your choice of Mr. Obama over "Blood and Guts" McCain, we here are Whotsamotta are a bit leery of anyone who shows enough responsibility and initiative to vote.  We encourage you to move to Pennsylvania, where your lack of a driver's license should prevent that sort of miscreasance in the future.

              Dean Julie
              Whotsamotta U. School of Law and Leisure Studies
              Somewhere in the Caribbean Sea