"How could it take you 5 minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes?" "Um... I'm a fast cook, I guess. ""You're a fast cook? Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than any place on the face of the earth?" "I don't know." "Perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove. Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?"